Turning Japanese

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October 8th 2017

Published: October 29th 2017

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Delek Delek

Dotombori

Osaka's signature night spot is riot of illumination. Notice the massive animatronic crab on the left.

I have been excited about going to Japan ever since I left Spain to go on this worldwide trip over two years ago. I was now finally going there. After so long on the road however, my excitement has admittedly waned slightly, but I was still highly anticipating my relatively short visit to the land of the rising sun.
Japan has informed so much of the world's culture in weird, wacky and wonderful ways and I was looking forward to seeing what I would discover in this iconic country.

To get there, I took my first flight in three and a half months! As much as some people hate it, I love going to the airport; seeing the multitude of destinations on the departure board suddenly makes it feel like your travel opportunities are endless. You always have the excitement too, of knowing that you are going somewhere far away in a relatively short space of time.
I had a long stopover in Qingdao en route and Qingdao's airport wasn't as flash as Beijing's and too cheap to pay for an airport hotel, I was facing a night of sleeping rough. Thankfully I wasn't the only one bunking down in the departures hall for the night and no-one seemed to have a

Turn On The Bright Lights

Japan were the first to really go big with bright lights. On the right is the iconic Glico running man.

problem with it. And thank goodness, as it was pretty cold outside, even though it was still a challenge keeping warm inside. On a cold marble bench, I maybe got about 3-4 hours of low quality sleep.

Once on-board the plane, I had a bit of fun trying to guess which passengers were Chinese and which were Japanese. I found that I couldn't tell a lot of Japanese from Chinese, but many of them are quite obviously Japanese. It is difficult to tell you what exactly made these Japanese people look different to a Chinese person; sometimes it was because they had a darker complexion, sometimes it was the way they dressed or the way they wore their hair, sometimes it was a particular facial feature not commonly seen in China. Some looked very Western while others looked Polynesian. It was very interesting to observe.

Touching down at Kansai International Airport and waiting to go through immigration, two things stood out.
The first was colour - there was a lot of it around the airport, particularly colour coding for different lanes, different functions, different directions etc. I noticed that the Japanese are very fond of pictorial or diagrammatic

Himeji Castle

This national treasure is 75km from Osaka.

instructions, which should be universally understandable. Very clever.
The second thing that stood out was efficiency. Getting a shit-ton of people through immigration seemed to be a well-rehearsed drill and everything from checking your passport, taking your fingerprints and photo, being distributed into even queues and then finally having your passport stamped was all done as if it was second nature and with the minimum of fuss.

But more than anything, I found the people that I was dealing with to be impossibly polite; people would get out of your way, no worker was ever rude, queues were formed in an orderly fashion and no-one would speak annoyingly loudly. It was so nice to experience this after two months in China. No-one was staring at me! Apart from the girls checking me out, hehe.
The people here just instantly seemed so much more cooler and chilled than in China. I don't think that I saw a Japanese person get angry once. And from the way people dressed and from many of the things that I saw on the streets you could instantly feel that this was a much more free and liberal country.

Cuteness is something that is

Shin-sekai

Area that used to be an amusement park in the early 20th century is now full of restaurants, dive bars and izakayas with a real nostalgic feel.

readily associated with Japan and indeed it even has a name; kawaii. Think Hello Kitty, Pokemon and an obsession with mascots. Kawaii seems to permeate into everyday life here and I couldn't help but notice the cute journey jingles before announcements and the liberal use of cartoons for advertisements and even warnings, on the train into Osaka.
While politeness and kawaii are big parts of what makes the Japanese inherently adorable, the other big factor which contributes to this stereotype is simply the way they do things.

Japan is perhaps the most thoughtful place I have ever visited and they do have a reputation for this. They really have thought of everything.
This was immediately apparent when I arrived at the hostel, which on appearance, was your fairly average, run-of-the-mill hostel in a basic, non-descript, dingy building. Yet the place was full of nice touches such as hand towels by the sink and dry mats in the shower cubicles which are just par for the course in terms of Japanese accommodation.
Also par for the course are the most sophisticated toilets I have ever encountered. Almost all of them look like they belong on a spaceship and all have

Umeda Sky Building

One of Osaka's most distinctive buildings.

built-in, electronically controlled bidets as well as heated toilet seats! I don't think that I can ever go back to experiencing the coldness on your thighs and arse cheeks when going to the loo ever again! The hostel also had free ramen! For instant ramen, it was really nice too! Just what this poor backpacker needed!

Finding the hostel was a bit of a struggle though; Japan has weird addresses, similar to how addresses are formulated and interpreted in Brasilia and just don't seem to make any sense. I hadn't fully downloaded the Google Map of the area either, which didn't help (but in any case, thank goodness for Google Maps in Japan). Asking locals who were more than happy to help, eventually got me there.

Growing up, I had always known Japan to be a place that was technologically advanced and always ahead of the world. Sadly, that was a few years ago now. Walking around Osaka on my first day of sightseeing, the modern buildings used to wow other countries are showing their age a little now, particularly having just witnessed the results of China's recent progress.
Nevertheless the Umeda Sky Building is still looks impressively

O-hatsu Ten-jin

Shinto shrine where two lovers committed suicide so that they could stay together in the afterlife rather than live apart.

modern despite being built in 1993 and reminded me a little of the HSBC Building in Hong Kong.
From the Umeda Sky Building, it was just about possible took walk the full 1.4km to the O-hatsu Ten-jin Shrine completely underground. Handy, in order to stay out of the wind and the rain that day. This was because you had to pass through Umeda Train Station and its maze of underground passages lined with shops and restaurants, that link the station to the metro system, shopping malls and notable office buildings in the area.
O-hatsu Ten-jin is a Shinto shrine that is famous for being where Japan's version of Romeo & Juliet committed suicide together to remain together in the afterlife rather than to live apart. Shinto is the ethnic religion of Japan although most Japanese practice Shinto rituals without identifying themselves as "Shintoists".

Japan is often portrayed as a land of strange obsessions which although is true for many within the country, can't really be extrapolated to the general population. But one thing can; Japan's obsession with coin-operated machines.
Spacies parlours - what we called amusement arcades full of coin-operated video games back in New Zealand - were one of

Pachinko Hall

Halls full of these crazy game machines are crazy-loud.

my favourite hangout spots when growing up and they probably originated in Japan. Whereas the classic spacies parlour was for kids, there are some proper adult ones here in Japan full of bright lights and grown men in sharp suits smoking away while playing electronic mahjong. It was quite a bizarre sight. But not nearly as bizarre as the cacophony that is a pachinko hall.
Pachinko is essentially a type of slot game where players try to use pinball like controls to accumulate as many silver, marble-sized balls as possible, for which bucketfuls of them can be traded for prizes or cash. The noise inside is absolutely deafening with the electronic sounds of the pachinko games in addition to the clanking and rattling of the pachinko balls themselves. People of all ages are seated, smoking and trying their luck and the desperate looking scene isn't dissimilar to that of a hall full of one-armed bandits in a casino.
But the locals don't just play games for money, as there are loads who play just for fun as well. Some take it more seriously than others though, including one rather geeky-looking guy - a spitting image of your skinny, stereotypical computer

Namba Walk

Shopping tunnels that seem to go on forever like this one, allows one to walk around most of the city centre entirely underground.

programmer - who had drawn quite a crowd with his dancing skills on one of those arcade games where you have to match the dancers on screen move for move, in perfect synchronicity with the beat. He was ripping through the levels on just one credit, on "master" level difficulty too. It all looked rather incongruous, this skinny IT support desk call centre operator, absolutely nailing some of the most campest and and energetic dance moves to the cheers of a crowd full of awed locals and bewildered foreigners. It was quite the sight.
As well as coin-operated potential wealth enhancers, silver ball collectors and video dancing games, the Japanese do also love the humble ol' coin-operated vending machine. They are literally everywhere. As well as being the land of the rising sun, this is also the land of vending machines. Even some restaurants require you to place your order on a coin-operated machine, which then prints out a ticket which you give to the server who will then go and prepare your meal. I loved the concept of these places though; diners would take up a seat on a U-shaped bar and the server would bring you your meal

Osaka-jo

Originally built in the 16th century, the current castle was built in 1931. I was too cheap to pay the ¥600 to go inside.

from behind it. These places saved my life because they were cheap and I didn't have to talk to anyone to place my order as the instructions on the machine were usually available in English. The only interaction I would have with the server is an "arigato" on the way out. I could get a set meal of grilled meat - thin marinated strips of beef or pork, which were delicious - with rice, salad and miso soup for just £4.30. It was amazing - Japanese food at home for me is usually such a treat but here I was eating it every day for cheap! These meals definitely helped me stick to budget as just like when I first arrived in India - but for very different reasons - I was petrified of spending money.

Which was a good thing I managed to get my Japan Rail Pass when I was in Beijing. It allows me to ride almost any bullet train (shinkansen) or JR (Japan Railways) line for fourteen days. At £313 however, it wasn't cheap, but it was already paid for, would allow me full flexibility and would cost less than buying all the rail tickets individually. In Osaka and most

Blinded By The Lights

On Dotombori.

large Japanese cities, there is the subway system (like the metro or the tube) and JR lines, which are like the RER in Paris, the S-Bahn in Germany or overland trains in London. I used the JR lines whenever I could because the metro was relatively expensive, especially compared to China. And I thought I'd better make the most of my pass since it cost so much!

I've seen my share of bright lights around the world, from The Strip in Las Vegas to Piccadilly Circus in London, and more recently, from Hong Kong to Shanghai. But the Japanese were the first to really go big with them and this most Japanese of phenomenons can be seen - perhaps more than anywhere else in the country - on the riverside pedestrian street of Dotombori. It is an absolute riot of light and was absolutely rammed with people too. I'd always seen the lights on TV and now I was finally here - it was pretty cool gawping at all the illuminated signage. As well as bright signs, many of the restaurants that line Dotombori also have animatronic robots on their shopfronts, the most eye-catching of which is a giant moving

Kuromon Ichiba

This 600m-long covered arcade is teeming with tourists and locals alike, sampling the amazing foodstuffs on offer such as oysters, sushi, pickles and fish.

crab.
The Japanese of course are famous for their love of a good mascot and a famous one of Osaka can be found on Dotombori; Kuidaore Taro is a rather creepy-looking, Where's Wally cosplaying clown that beats a drum and is the icon of the city's eating culture of kuidaore, which literally means "eat 'til you drop." Other stationary caricatures on Dotombori include a massive blowfish above a seafood restaurant, a big cow above a steak restaurant and an angry, teeth-gritting chef above a kushikatsu (grilled breaded meat and vegetables on sticks) restaurant. The only thing that spoiled the experience was the rain, which was absolutely chucking it down.
Before I got to Dotombori, I was hanging out in Amerika-mura, a compact area full of alternative clothing shops, tattoo parlours, night clubs and hipster cafes. This is where to come to check out Osaka's edgy youth culture and fashion.

On my second full day in Osaka, it sucked that I was on a budget, as it meant that I couldn't spend with abandon at Kuromon-ichiba market with all its raw fish, humongous oysters and sweet mochi. I did manage to score an interesting salad that was made mostly of

Tsuten-kaku

The 103m-high tower and the area around it was first built in 1912.

some sort of wet, shredded vegetable with the consistency of shredded canned tuna, with mushrooms, spring onions and carrots.

With Japan's technological golden age coming in the 80s and 90s, many places I have seen in Osaka carry a kind of retro feel. You definitely felt this vibe in Den Den Town which was full of toy stores, gaming parlours, anime shops, blue movie cinemas and CD/DVD stores. This retro feel is taken even further back in the cool district of Shin-sekai, which was a futuristic amusement park about a hundred years ago. Its covered shopping arcades and 103m-high steel tower of Tsuten-kaku tell a story of a place whose heyday has passed it by, but which retained a nostalgic feel. The pedestrianised area behind it is like a more laid-back Dotombori full of izakayas (Japanese pubs that also serve decent food) and local dive bars - it definitely had a much more local and authentic feel to it.

From the old to I went the new at Abeno Harukas, Japan's tallest building (though Tokyo's Sky Tree is taller, it is Japan's tallest structure rather than building). Kintetsu, Japan's biggest department store is spread out over eleven levels

Kaiten-sushi

Conveyor belt sushi was invented in Osaka.

of it. There are decent views at the top but they're unfortunately obstructed by glass and pillars.
Inside Abeno Harukas, I did my first ever sushi train. Sushi trains were apparently invented in Osaka. As plates of deliciousness approach you on the conveyor belt, you really have to make a decision whether to take the approaching plate quick snap or else it might not come back! Prices and descriptions are displayed on a plate in front of the items as they roll toward you. It's dangerous though as having to make quick decisions combined with wanting to try everything can make you go a bit trigger-happy! I inevitably blew out the budget a little and though the sushi was good, it didn't blow me away - but the sushi train in Osaka had to be done.
Walking back through Shin-sekai, I also sampled takoyaki - creamy octopus dumplings that are an Osaka speciality. This did blow me away - wow, definitely the best thing I have eaten in Japan so far. Delicious. It went right through me though - thank God for hi-tech Japanese toilets is all I have to say...

Back at the hostel, I ended up going

Inside Himeji Castle

The castle interior had some very Japanese design features but was otherwise a little underwhelming.

on a Hostel Night Out (TM)! I got talking to Swedes Thuha, Malin and Tobias and before we knew it we were off to karaoke! Having drunk straight rum, super strong cider and red wine very quickly back at the hostel, I thought I had overdone it at the karaoke bar but I thankfully just needed a little time to get my second wind. We ended up at a club called Ghost - well, Tobias, Malin and I did anyway, as Thuha had inappropriate footwear - where they were playing hip-hop. A club is a club really but I was smashed and enjoying myself. I made friends with Serb Haris and Croatian Matija as well as local girl Mako. For the first time in a long time I walked out of the club when the sun was out and had one of those cool moments when you're having a drunken breakfast with a Serb, a Croatian, an Argentinian, a Brazilian and a token American in Japan.

What wasn't so cool was having to drag my arse to Himeji Castle the next day, supposedly Japan's best castle.
To get there, I took my first shinkansen! Bloody hell, those things are

Kuidaore Taro

Creepy mascot that symbolises Osaka's eating culture.

fucking quick. Quite possibly the fastest train I have been on though I'm not sure how fast we went. Including a couple of stops, we covered 75km in about 35 minutes.
Himeji Castle sits proudly atop a hill in nice autumn surrounds and though the structure is quite impressive, it was overall a little disappointing. Huge Sunday crowds and amazing weather meant crowd control measures were in place, meaning you had to wait in loads of queues before being able to move on to the next part of the castle visit. The current castle was built in 1580 and is one of few original castles still standing in Japan. The views at the top of the main five-storey keep are pretty good but again are obstructed by fencing. The castle interior isn't too different from a European medieval castle apart from some Japanese-style features. It was pretty bare inside too. Being hungover didn't help, but for what is supposed to be Japan's finest castle, I wasn't overly impressed and wouldn't mind getting my ¥1,000 entrance fee back.

Listening to the announcements on the shinkansen back to Osaka, I reckon that Japanese is probably the the nicest sounding Asian language

Billiken & Hip-Hop Dancers

In the background is a bronze statue of the mascot Billiken, a creepy-looking baby which was created as a good luck charm in the early 1900s. In front of him, a hip-hop video was being filmed.

I've heard. Service workers and announcers in particular can be incredibly melodic and theatrical with their intonation. Something else that adds to the Japanese cuteness factor.
I've also found that I can recognise a a few Japanese characters, as some of them are identical to Chinese ones. These characters are what is known as kanji, characters taken from Chinese. Each character, like in Chinese, has a specific meaning - so each character is like a whole word. The way the characters are said/pronounced however, is completely different in Chinese and Japanese. So a Chinese person could probably read and understand most kanji but wouldn't be able to speak it. As well as kanji however, two phonetic alphabets are also used in Japanese and are known as hiragana and katakana. In addition, romaji uses the Roman alphabet to create Japanese words. And I thought learning Spanish was tough...

Suffice to say, I didn't get up to anything that evening, which brought a conclusion to my crash course introduction to Japan. It has been endlessly fascinating so far and perhaps coming to Osaka first was a good decision rather than getting potentially overwhelmed in Tokyo. I hope that things remain just