Somewhere in the Middle

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I feel like I am stuck somewhere between being a vistor to and a resident of India.

I knew I was no longer a vistor when I found that I could tell the auto rickshaw driver which way to turn while driving to MG Road and cows lying in the middle of the road no longer caused me to blink. Other things show my comfort level in this country is growing too. My haggling skills have improved immensely. I feel I can safely navigate a solo trip to Mosque Road. I no longer am scared that I will be run over crossing the street and I've gotten used to people staring at my white skin. I can keep my balance during complicated yoga poses. As I spend more time here, I love the country a little bit more every day. I love things I never thought I would--the general hectic nature of traffic and walking in the streets. Dogs barking at night has become oddly comforting. Things that would bother me at home seem to fit into the entire experience of being in India that I am loving

I'm not all the way comfortable here, however, and it is because of this that I do not consider myself a resident of this city. I miss home like crazy, especially lately. Being in the minority--racially, religiously and financially--is something I haven't gotten all the way accustomed to either. Smells still overwhelm me, and sometimes all I want is a bite of non-Indian food. Over the past few days, I watched as everyone around me celebrated a holiday that I knew practically nothing about. These things leave me frustrated. I long to be in a place where everything is familiar and where I don't stand out. I am surprised that I am thinking these things because I came to India to escape exactly that.

Basically, I want the rest of my time here to hurry up, but slowly.

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