Day 5: The one where we got foot cramps

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Bear with me, there’s a lot to go through in this episode.



I did get up at 5am. We were up and ready to go by 5.25. setting off to the Taj Mahal the street was a very different beast, peaceful. You could stroll as opposed to walking defiantly head down pretending not to hear people as they flog you tuk tuks.



Now remember a couple of days ago when I was muttering about how foreigners are charged through the nose. Well ladies and gents, a local can go to the Taj mahal for 50 rupees. A foreigner can go for 1100. 11 fucking hundred. Now in British money that equates to 15 quid each which isn’t a lot but sill don’t take the piss India. The upside was there were no queues at all and for the first half an hour there were only 30 or so people with us. Right onto the main bit the monument itself. Wow. Just fucking wow. It is an incredible structure. Built in 1632 on order of Mughal emperor Shah Jahal as a testament to his late wife (it is basically a tomb of sorts) the structure looms majestically over Agra. The large gardens in front give ample photo opportunity in the morning, but only in the morning at the break of dawn. Within an hour the place was already close to our own personal capacity for human tolerance so we weren’t in long. To be honest an hour and a half is probably all you need to see the monuments and gawp at the monkeys that roam the grounds, playfully wading across streams and eating anything that anyone drops (including shoe covers, weirdly.) The price is a bit daft considering what everyone else pays but you have to go and see this if you go to Agra. Simple as.



We went back to the hotel for breakfast. The main tasters for me were chicken sausages (no pork or beef on offer, hence why there won’t be any photos going on the Fry Up Police for fear of reprieve), which were, well, food. Bhaji but as an almost hashed list of the ingredients for an onion bhaji in a sauce, and naan.



After this we used our phones and decided that we were going to walk to the Agra fort. Google maps said it was a 2 mile walk. It involved walking around the Taj Mahal, through a back alley market place and down the side of a major road, literally on the side of the road at some points, but we made it. Obviously we were somewhat later in the morning at this point so it was somewhat busier. For 600 rupees apiece (50 rupees cheaper for visiting the Taj, same local fee ramblings as previously) we were in after the standard metal detector and pat down.



Because of the word “fort” and the terracotta exterior, immediately we were drawing comparisons to the Red fort in Delhi (see day 3). This was much better from a tourist perspective. This was an actual fort, closer to tours of still standing castles in England than the red fort itself. The building is beautifully maintained, and there were plenty of informative slabs in English and Punjabi in each room. Along the walls were plenty of viewpoints to see across the river into the town centre, and the Taj itself staring back from down river. Although only a third of the fort itself is for tourists (the rest is overgrown and abandoned) there was easily 2 hours or so worth of entertainment in here including a brief sit on a bench which resulted in our next 2 instalments of “Photos with Foreigners”. The second instalment in particular was fun, as a man took a photo of us sat on our bench along with his wife and baby boy. That kid clearly had not seen a white person before and was absolutely loving life.



Our walk back to the hotel was fine enough but was marred slightly by the introduction of the most heckley of all the heckley tuk tuk drivers who ever heckled the earth. This guy simply would not quit. He tried everything. Pulling alongside and asking where we were going. Shouting 100 rupees. Even pointing to his mouth in a “I need to buy food” motion. We thought he had given up only to find that a few hundred metres down the road he was waiting, hopefully. This was by far the most intense harassment we had endured so far.



We got back to the hotel and I won’t lie I slept for like 3 hours. We’d been up since 5am and we’d walked 25000 steps by lunchtime (well not our lunchtime because we missed it because I was asleep and Meg was reading, but you get the point.) When I woke we spent another hour doing absolutely nothing before we began to google places to eat. Trip Advisor recommended “Joney’s Place” which was in the afore mentioned back alley market. We arrived there at about half 6. We were recommended the paneer pasanda, and moglai kofta. We did occasionally mention other things but continued to be recommended the pasanda and kofta, which gave us the impression that these were the only dishes really available, or these were the ones that they make really well. We were optimistic it was option b and we were not disappointed. Anyone that has had paneer from an Indian takeaway may find it cube cut and rubbery. However, this arrived in flatter cuts, and crispier as a result, with taste and texture very similar to halloumi. The Kofta was deep fried balls filled with rice and onion, served in a tomato and cheese sauce. Both were exquisite, and sacrificed heat for flavour. We also sampled Lassi which is a yoghurt based drink flavoured with fruit, a bit like a milkshake, again very tasty. The price was substantially cheaper than on the road by the Taj too, which were we staying a few days more would have been worth baring in mind.



We stopped at a shop on the way back to stock up on water and to have a drink, before going to bed. We found the English channels on the TV, and a Dwayne Johnson fix later we were tucked up asleep.







Steps: 28,344



Bites: 5



Photos with Foreigners: 6



Top Tip: Are you scared of giving your phone or camera to someone to take a photo of you and your girlfriend in a foreign land? Are you slightly apprehensive that they may run off with it having over searched scams on the internet?



Well fear no more. Simply take a panoramic photo with one of you stood in shot at the start of the photo. Once the camera is turned so you are out of shot run around the back and take the camera, allowing the other person to get in the photo from the other side. Trust me it works. Trust me it looks fine. Trust me it’s super fun.

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