Thapar House

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When is couchsurfing not really couchsurfing? When it is three days with Biren Thapar in Lucknow.

At first I felt a little like I was in the belly of the beast. Biren Thapar comes from an upper middle class Indian background, full of "old money" and servants inside a grand mansion. These are the people I set myself against in the UK, whether talking about politics or out sabbing in the Waveney Valley. Yet there he was, opening up his home and his resources to travellers at little more than a couple of days notice, lavishing us with food as soon as we arrived and not asking for a penny.

We had our own private en suite bedroom that, coming after a dingy night at the Diamond Hotel and a rough few nights in Jhansi and Agra, was beyond our expectations. There was clean sheets, enough blankets for both of us to stay warm, and a shower that gave out a steady supply of hot water!

The first day with Thapar had us breakfasting and having lunch with him before his driver Vinod took us to The Residency, which contained the ruins of a grand mansion with auxilliary outbuildings set inside lage gardens. It was almost a castle. Ultimately the place became the site of vicious battles during India's 1857 independence war that killed most of the British living there. Though there were many other people there its size meant it was peaceful and calm. It was a much needed break from the chaos of India we'd experienced so far.

Thapar is an interesting dude. He is rich and has led a fairly comfortable life from what I can gather, at least economically. His background has afforded him the opportunity to master painting and drawing, to learn at least four languages, and to have mastered the finer arts of international cuisine. These are not traits associated with the poor or even lower middle class of India so far as I can tell. Yet accompanying this is an undeniably liberal outlook on the world, with an understanding but low opinion of India's caste system and fairly critical views of the machismo of Indian men. Furthermore his participation in couchsurfing went totally against the grain of his social circles, many of whom didn't understand why he chose that over a homestay system from which he would earn money. His explanation was simple: couchsurfing builds an economy of trust rather than capital. This was bourne out by his help in putting us in contact with other couchsurfers in places that we will be visiting as well as introducing us to another souchsurfing host in Lucknow, Ajay.

Our second day saw us go to the Bara Imambara, a grand Mughal palace now turned into a tourist attraction. Thapar had mentioned he'd got us a cheap deal on the entrance fee but when we got there we found out it wasn't cheap, it was free. Vinod had driven us there and bought a pair of tickets for us. We spent 20 minutes or so looking around the beautiful hall of the Bara Imambara before heading upstairs to what I thought would be the balconies. Before leaving, Thapar had warned us against going into what is known as the Labyrinth, saying that once in it can be impossible to get out without a tour guide. After reaching the balcony and getting a lovely view across the Lucknow we decided to return to the front gate and move onto another attraction further down the road. Except that as we attempted to retrace our steps we found ourseles becoming increasingly lost. We had, by complete accident, trapped ourselves in the Labyrinth.

It took the best part of two hours for us to find our way out again. Although there were many people around none seemed to speak English, and every set of stairs we ascended or descended seemed to either take us to a dead end or back to where we began. Eventually we found the way out using some simple logic and the panic of spending a night in haunted concrete mazes subdued.

That evening Thapar had invited Ajay and Ritu, his wife, over for coffee and then to take us out for a meal. We went to a pretty upmarket restaurant called Barbecue Nation where we shared the contradictions of English vs Indian culture (they were surprised we didn't eat meat, as their perception is that everyone outside of India eats loads of meat) and had a generally lovely time making fun and sharing conversation. Throughout there was an underlying worry for me. This was clearly not a cheap restaurant and E and I are aready running way over our daily budget due to the Delhi Mistake. By the time we were half way through I absolved these anxieties by accepting that we were fully committed and we'd just chalk it up to a one-off extravagance. When the bill came however, almost before I'd even had a chance to notice its arrival, Ajay had paid for all four of us. That's right. Despite our protestations he refused to take any money from us and even drove us from and to Thapar's place.

Jesus christ. This isn't normal couchsurfing, is it?

Our third and fourth days were a bit less grand but no less enjoyable. We went to a local flowershow where we were approached by an old man and his grand daughter wanting to have a photo taken with us and then invited us to have dinner with them. I am not sure why. It was unprompted and unexpected, and I can only assume it had something to do with us being white. That evening we had dinner with Tharpa and some of his old family friends and got to experience inside the social life of India's liberal elite. Their conversation and their style of conversation is radically different to anything I have in my life, being very much au fait with popular trends and the rich and famous of Lucknow. As they talked I thought to myself that this is likely exactly how the upper classes of Britain, and probably the world, converse. It struck me that the similarities of a class across the world are more similar than between different classes within a single nation. I hope this can be true for international working class solidarity today.

We spent our last day at the La Martiniere College, a presitgious local Catholic college and Tharpa's alma mater, before moving onto the "poor" suburb of Chowk. Here we were at first hassled and later simply accompanied by two cute street kids that followed us half way across the suburb before disappearing at a bridge. We had dinner withtharpa before heading to the train station to catch our train.

Throughout our time with Thapar, it was his servants that really struck me. Anju did almost all the cooking in the house and her food was outstanding. It was a taste of true Indian food that surpasses the best Indian food I have had in the UK. Netram, the housekeeper, worked incredibly hard to keep the house clean, our food and drink served, and even did our laundry. Vinod drove us, paid for our entry to the Bara Imambara, and helped us navigate our way through the city by highlighting important landmarks.

Biren Tharpa is an unparalled host and his offering could not have been accomplished without the help of Anju, Vinod, and Netram. Though we were unable to repay them in any true way we hope to carry forward the spirit of generosity and trust they offered us. It has also inspired us to offer more than just a sofa for couchsurfers at our place in the future.

After a chaotic first week in India, Lucknow proved to be a welcome oasis that helped us regenerate before moving onward to Varanasi, Sarnath, and our 10 day Vipassana retreat.

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