Reflections on 48 Hours of Uncertainty

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From the moment we arrived at New Delhi train station until the second we arrived at the door of Tharpa House, 5 Park Road, uncertainty has beset our hours.

We have taken a massive roundtrip from Delhi to Agra, Agra to Jhansi, and Jhansi to Lucknow during which I have felt like we've just about kept our heads above the surface. Firstly it has felt much like people's only interest in us, whether it was unwanted hassle or superficially nice aid, was based around getting money from us. Often this wasn't even a huge amount but it is the assumption that we, as white tourists, must have money to chuck around. It is the first time I have felt really subjectified by my white skin. It isn't the end of the world but during the midst of the experience it has felt very overwhelming.

This has been an issue, too, when people have begged for money. Often they are clearly poor, and clearly would benefit from 50 rupees far more than E and I would in the long term. Having to say no, and even having to blank the frail old women as she continued banging on the car door for 90 seconds or so, becomes difficult. I am not one to fall for white tourist guilt but it's not like I don't care either. E has mentioned how in the past she has criticised (as have I) people with money for turning away from the poor - and there we were, doing the exact thing we have been so critical of in the past. It is a humbling experience.

Twice, in two different towns, we have been followed quite aggressively by an auto and a rickshaw driver. Whilst most drivers will accept no for an answer, these two seemed set on following us until we were able to lose them. The auto driver in Jhansi followed us for 25 to 30 minutes as we searched for a place to stay in town. His persistance began to unnerve me; I began thinking his intention was to bundle us away down a dark alley and leave us with little more than blood leaking from our kidneys. Eventually we found Hotel Shrinath Inn and got a room whilst he continued parked up outside for us for who knows long?

All of these experience resulted from our own first mistake. In retrospect it seems obvious that the foreign ticket office in New Delhi train station wasn't closed but at the time we believed it. Perhaps endeared by the lovely time we had at Wongdhen House and the New Tibetan Camp, we believed this man when he said the only way to get a train ticket would be to visit his tourist office 20 minutes away. It's almost embarrasing writing this because it seems so obvious but I am not embarrased because at the time we believed it and that is the way things were. Ultimately we were sold a package that is convenient, took us through Agra (where we pretended to see the Taj Mahal, but didn't because it cost over 500 rupees and had long lines) en route to Jhansi, and has arranged train tickets for us up to Varanassi. It included accomodation for one night in Agra but other than that little more than train tickets for a total of £98 per person.

Yeah, I am embarrased by typing that.

The round trip has also resulted in spending more money on accomodation than we'd have preferred to. I can't blame this on anyone but ourselves though. That's entirrely don to our naive belief that we could turn up in a town and find somewhere fairly cheap to sleep at the drop of a hat. Our room in Jhansi was pretty ramshackle and involved an awkward 30 seconds with a bell boy - that hadn't actually done anything - closing our room door very slowly whilst we didn't give him a tip, and our first night in Lucknow resulted in spending nine hours in a room that could almost certainly only have been used for illicit sexual pleasure.

Although we had arranged for a courchsurfing host in Lucknow, the 2.5 hour-late train (a total journey time of nine hours) meant we turned up close to 11pm and much later than expected. We took an auto with a driver with whom we had no common language and so found it desperately difficult to communicate our destination. He carried us to the exact opposite side of town and demanded four times the fare when he eventually got us to the correct location 45 minuts later. Most of the hotels were booked up so we after over an hour of searching accepted an 800 rupee bedroom at Hotel Diamond that wasn't even on their room listing. It didn't have a duvet or a sink, and the windows didn't shut properly, but it was a roof for a night. The day has been a real lesson in patience.

The past 48 hours have been a chaos of our mistakes, the underhandedness of others, and a real clash of cultural norms that have left me feeling genuinely naive although not deterred. I am happy to have handled the whole thing without too much anxiety and I am proud E has handled this with the utmost kindness and radiance even if it has led to tears for her. We've learned many lessons. I am sure we will learn many more.

At 11.35 this morning we started making our way to our couchsurfing host at Tharpa House, 5 Parkroad. It turns out the place is literally a mansion and he wants us to have loads of delicious food and won't take no for an answer. I'll talk more about it next time. Check the Flickr for photos of some lovely bedrooms and our tired, miserable faces.

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