watching footage

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On Friday, we got to the school at 9 because we had to present our formal script to the three heads of the program: Uma, Hariharan, and our own Vinit (from NY). I felt a bit apprehensive because while other groups were finalizing theirs, we hadn't even started ours. We had talked about how we had to do it, and then we had gone to a pub, effectively eliminating any possibility of working on it. By 10, we were wondering where everyone was, all the other Indian students were working with their groups and only ours were absent. By 11, we asked everyone to call them, and apparently they were on their way. Finally two of them arrived at 11:30 and one arrived at 12. Another glorious miscommunication.

Before they arrived, Umila and I talked about our plan for the script, even though it was difficult since I don't want to exclude peoples' ideas, especially since I am co-directing with Raj Kumar. I came up with a basic flow, but when Raj and the others arrived, they had other ideas. We have such different sensibilities about things, but I have to say, it is such a difficult but rewarding process to work through this with anyone, and even more so when my partners have such different cultural backgrounds and thus, different artistic and conceptual preferences.

When the guys showed up, we got to watch the footage in the editing lab. Pradeep was nervous because he had shot it, but the rest of us couldn't wait to see it. We have about 80 minutes of B-roll. It was great! Umila took notes on every shot (216 in total) so that we could organize it into appropriate categories.

During this, as happens most days, was a power cut. Power cuts are so common that it's almost just a routine reason to take a break for a few minutes. Some power cuts are only a few moments, and others are for 6 or 8 hours. One of the students is from a region where there are only 4 hours of power a day. When we shot our b-roll, there (just our luck) was a planned power cut from 9-5. We were there from 8-5. They have a generator, but the generator created so much noise, that it interfered with our sound recording.

Presenting was surprisingly nerve-wracking, because I knew our group was not united on the main concept of the film. All of our interview questions seemed to be focused on the school, or the subject's personality. In a previous conversation with Vinit, I came to see that there had to be a much stronger focus on this woman's particular struggles, or obstacles preventing her from doing what she wants. Now in the meeting, I felt that even what we were saying was not really the story. The professors dismissed us, but I was not satisfied. Plus, I felt like I had just taken too strong a role in speaking, and it is so difficult to keep things equal while still making progress forward.

A few minutes later, outside, Vinit spoke with our group. As we were expressing more ideas about the film and more about our subject, he suggested that the real story was a woman loves children, and has no children, but creates a family-like environment from a school. Ultimately her success is that she becomes the mother she could never be. I think we had already discussed this, but we weren't able to articulate it. I didn't realize the significance of this until Vinit pointed out that in Hindu society, grandparents are seen as gods. Not having children means losing a significant status in society, and losing face. Basically, it's a big deal.

It's crazy that I didn't really get this, and that my group members got it, but I didn't know to ask them, and they didn't know to mention it to me because it is such common knowledge in their eyes.

I am reminded again and again that this process cannot be completed in some quick, direct way. It is a rigorous churning of incomplete ideas, bruised egos, tentative suggestions, sensitive insistence, reluctant compromise, and eventual acceptance. It is exhausting and deeply satisfying. And did I mention exhausting. Basically, I love it.

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