Green curries, Pink cities and murky lakes

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Planty's version



Our first few hours in Jaipur were spent having an orientation walk, basically showing us around the market area and the different things the city had to offer. We headed out in my new favourite thing, the tuk tuk, so cheap, so basic, but they're brilliant, they get you to your destination so quickly, nipping through the tightest gaps in the traffic with ease. As we walked through the streets you could feel everyone turning to look at you, especially the blonde girls on our trip, we were basically aliens, people looking with confusion, not being able to understand what we were and why we were there. We passed a large bin that had overflowed into the street and witnessed a cow, a dog and a pig all helping themselves to the contents, which looked like a group of guys munching their kebabs waiting for a taxi at half 4 on a Sunday morning struggling to stand up due the severe intoxicated state that they’re in.



Once we had our small tour, which included crossing a few roads, I though crossing roads in Marrakech was an achievement, but this was even scarier, we headed for the local cinema to watch the latest Bollywood film, I wasn't too sure if I wanted to go, but went along with everyone else. I was astounded by the cinema, a massive pink building, and inside it was pretty much the same, over, pink walls with huge ornate decorations that made up the walls of each screen room. The film started and I had no idea what was going on, every now and then, while the actors are midway through a conversation or scene, they spurt out a couple of English words, but as the film progressed, we figured out that it was all the derogatory phrases, like 'bitch' and 'stupid whore', basically all the words that I don't think have a Hindu translation. I've always imagined Bollywood films to have a cheesy story line, and then randomly burst into the most over the top song and dance scene with everyone grinning like they’re being individually held at gun point and have no other alternative, but I was wrong. The story was about a top actress in Bollywood who was at the height of her career, and a guy who used her to enhance his career, he then binned her off and the film told the story of her rise to fame again, eventually she got back to the top of her career and ruined his at the same time by releasing a private sex tape they had made, pretty intense compared to what the common sense stereotypical assumptions of what Bollywood was all about.



We all left the cinema quite impressed and overwhelmed by what we had just watched, all with the same confusion, where was the random songs? The cheesy smile? And the even cheesier script? We went to a nearby restaurant for our evening dinner, while one of the girls had a cigarette outside, me and Lotty waited with her, we didn't want her to be on her own outside a restaurant in a country she was unfamiliar with. As ever we had someone come over and try and sell us something, this time it was puppets, that looked like a hyena had painted them whilst laughing hysterically, I told him no thanks twice, then got into a slight conversation with him which went like this........



Planty: Do you speak English?

Local: Yes I speak English

Planty: Do you understand the meaning of words though?

Local: Yes

Planty: Do you know what the word 'no' means?

Local: 'N' 'O', 'no', yes I know what this word means

Planty: So why when I've already said no to you twice do you still proceed to ask me to buy the same thing off you that I've said 'no' to?



He didn't have an answer to that, so we went inside, and began what to seem like our tour of the restaurant as the staff tried to find an area where 15 of us could be seated. As we at down I was informed that this was a vegetarian restaurant, which wasn't the greatest thing to tell a starving meat eater like myself, then I decided to scan the menu and have a beer, but no! This restaurant didn't serve beer either?! What kind of place was I in? No meat, no beer? I was hungry, I'd had a long day all I wanted was meat and beer. Still, I got over this issue and witnessed another funny incident that we were all talking about later that night, Richard, the guy from Australia on our group went to order a drink, and once again, this is how it went.........



Waiter: What would like drink? (the waiter had a basic English so missed a few words out there)

Richard: I'll have a kingfisher please

Waiter: Sorry, no kingfisher

Richard: Oh, I'll just have a water then

Waiter: Coke?

Richard: No, water

Waiter: Diet coke?

Richard: No, water

Waiter: Coke light?

Richard: Yeah, whatever....



After the slight language barrier we managed to even order our food with out getting deep fried frog testicles and although the food was all vegetarian, it was really good, and different from what we had eaten in Delhi and Agra. Me and Lotty shared a Thali, which is like a platter, sampling a few different curries and local dips and sauces, and we ordered a Roti, which is similar to a large pancake with a filling. I had mentioned to the group and on here that one of the reasons I wanted to come to India was to try the food, and it's nice to try all the different regional foods because they're mostly different in the spice and flavours and the ways the food is presented.



We got back to the hotel and our guide had bought a bottle of whiskey and invited us to have a few drinks if we wanted, being partial to the odd drink we accepted, along with the majority of the group. We went to our room and got our bottle of Blueberry, Pomegranate and Acai flavoured vodka to share with everyone. At Luton airport we got a bottle of Raspberry vodka and polished it off in 3 days, so decided to buy another and hadn't touched it. We all gathered around a couple of tables with our drinks and had a nice chat with the others, although the dinners were good for a chat, you could only speak to people opposite or next to you, but this was a good chance to get to know the people more, we had a great time and shared stories of our past holidays, home towns and other stuff that sounds interesting after a few drinks, it was probably all crap though.



The next morning we had yet another busy day ahead and once more we headed out in our small group of tuk tuk's to the Amber fort, basically another sort of monument. As we pulled over to the side of the road, some of the group stopped to have a photo taken with an elephant, we had one taken too which was pretty cool. After that I heard the dreaded sound of a snake charmers trumpet sort of thing start about 10 metres away from us, as some mental guy casually pulled a basket from his bag and started charming a cobra. As ever, me being a massive wimp and terrified of snakes, I ran away, probably with the rest of the group laughing at me in the process, as they had discovered how much of a big tart I am when it comes to these disgustingly pointless and limbless creatures. We headed over to the bottom of the Amber Fort to wait for our elephant ride to the main gate (another different form of transport) and waited in the blistering heat while being harassed by all sorts of locals trying to sell stuff, and as I sometimes like the odd joke, this, again, is how a conversation went with one of them........



Local: You want nice set of pens?

Planty: No, I can't write mate.

Local: Maybe nice presents for friend?

Planty: No mate, I don't have any friends.

Local: How about a gift for your girlfriend?

Planty: No, she doesn't deserve one, she's rubbish at making bacon butties.



By this point, I think our fellow travellers had began to understand my delightful sense of humour and what to expect over the remainder of our tour. While we waited in the queue for our elephant, I heard the unmistakable sound of a typical brit abroad, and unfortunately for me, it was a Cockney, my most hated breed of people, and there was 2 of them, a guy and a woman. The guy was doing the usual brit thing and talking at a local at a million miles an hour, while the local wasn't understanding a single word of it, or caring for that matter, like the entirety of Jaipur for that matter. We climbed onto our elephants for our ride up the hill, the elephant was rather big really, but then again, it's not going to be a small creature. As our newest mode of transport plodded up the hill, I felt rather sorry for the poor elephant up ahead of us that was carrying 2 typical Americans, and when I say typical I mean fat, or more precisely, obese and lazy, the poor elephant must have been in so much pain having to carry these 2 lard arse's up a hill. We got to the top and regrouped while we waited for our guide, all noticing the previously mentioned brit's abroad walking around the fort as if they where on a holiday in the costa del sol, him with hist vest and shorts, her with a hideous gold bikini. I know it wasn't a fashion parade, but you’re in a historic landmark, have some respect and at least cover your bingo wings and post pregnancy belly. People like that really make me ashamed to be English sometimes, and society blames the younger generation for having a lack of respect, not in this scenario.



After spending an hour or so walking around the fort, we headed for the exit to wait for everyone else, then all of a sudden, I heard a sound, the most terrifying sound I have ever witnessed, a snake charmer! I peered slowly around the corner to one dancing around and people taking photo's with them, and as I pride myself on my high level of intelligence, and the fact that I'm not a complete moron, I stayed away. The snake was put away, and then 2 more appeared from another box, again I watched from a safe distance of approximately 7 lightyears away. We all saw a mental couple sit on the floor opposite the snakes as one escaped and made its way quite quickly over to one of the people, who looked like they had just filled a nappy with a not so pleasant smelling semi-solid substance. Typically with snake charmers, the cobra was simply grabbed by the tail and flung back in the box like a prisoner who had just escaped beyond the boundaries of a maximum security prison.



I was quite happy when we left the fort, partly because I didn't find it interesting, and partly because I couldn't wait to get away from the snakes. As ever, our tuk tuk drivers waited outside to ferry us off to the next location on our itinerary. In Jaipur, one of the tuk tuk's had a massive speaker system on the back shelf (usually where bags are stored) and a custom fitted CD player, due to this, he earned the nickname of 'party tuk'. We were lucky enough to be passengers in the party tuk for the next short leg of our tour of Jaipur, again, whizzing in and out of traffic with the latest UK chart hits blasting out while local people look on in utter disgust. We stopped at the side of the road to take photo's of camels if we wanted to, but I couldn't be arsed, and as we climbed back in to carry on down the road, our driver, who is a fair spoons short of a cutlery set, asked if I would like to drive. Obviously, me being sensible, and the fact that India's roads are not the safest ones to drive on, I declined his offer politely, only to be persuaded by Lotty to have a go, so I did. I was a bit scared at first, driving on Indian roads was never a thing I would want to do, but I was having fun, although I got asked by the driver to slow down, I was confused by this, an Indian driver telling someone to slow down? They Don't know how to drive slow, I wasn't even going that fast, or at least I didn't think I was. The highlight of driving a tuk tuk was overtaking an elephant on the road, I don't think many people can say they've done that before.



Once I enjoyed my 5 minutes of fun on Indian roads, I let the driver take over and carry on our journey. The girls decided they wanted to a bit of shopping, and the guys reluctantly agreed to join them, one the my biggest regrets to date. Lotty loves shopping in the UK but restricts herself due to the prices back home, but in India clothes are horrendously cheap, but brilliant quality, so as one would expect, this took a few hours. Our guide had mentioned about local shopkeepers and workers engaging in conversation with us, asking where we are from, what we do for a living etc, something which I took in mind when I decided to let my humorous side come out to play yet again. In one of the shops that I spent a near eternity in, one of the guys started talking to me, I told him where I was from and when he asked what I do for a living, I decided I was a helicopter pilot, the guy looking impressed asked if I'm in the army or if I'm a soldier (which I thought was basically the same thing), but I just insisted I fly helicopters for the rich and famous, all the while having to stop myself from smiling and laughing about it.



As we finally left the shops the group decided to head back to the hotel, via a shop to buy a plentiful supply of beer and sit on the roof terrace for a few hours and consume our beloved beverages. This one of the highlights of our India trips so far because as previously mentioned, the only time we got to sit and talk, was at dinner, it was nice once again to relax, talk and have a good time, and of course, the beer was extremely cheap.



Later we headed out for our evening meal which was becoming my favourite time of the day, as most of you will know by know I love curry, and eating it in India is the best to have it. We made it to the restaurant after yet another episode of near misses with car's people, cows and coaches, which was my excuse to have another beer. I'd love to be able to tell you what I had to eat, but because I've had a continents worth of different curries, I can't remember, the only thing I do remember, was everyone laughing at me once more, when my 'family naan' arrived, because it was big enough to feed a family, hence the name. With a belly full of curry and beer (again) we crashed out for the night ready for another fun filled day, this trip was getting better and better.



The next morning we were on the move once more, this time our destination was Pushkar, which is a small religious town that has a lake where people go to die, not the most pleasant thing to hear first thing in the morning during our quick brief of the day. Our mode of transport was another coach, only it was India's version of Ryanair without wings, the legroom was poor, even a dwarf would have struggled, one of the windows was missing and had been replaced by some wood. Our 2 hour painful journey was made better by the colourful sights of India, and there where hundreds on the way to Pushkar. As we trundled down some sort of motorway, we where overtaken by a guy on a motorbike, which seemed normal, only at second glance we noticed he had a goat facing backwards in a pouch next to the bike, like a sidecar without wheels. We also saw hundreds of cows relaxing either in the central reservation or taking up a lane or 2 of the motorway, which all other road users thought was normal and simply drove around them. We stopped halfway to grab some drinks and use the toilet, but our guide warned us not to leave our bags on the coach, because if the locals don't take them, the monkeys will. This place gets better and better.



We got to Pushkar a few hours later to be briefed once more about the town, the hotel and the optional actives during our stay. As always, our guide was full of knowledge about the area, and also informed us that no meat or alcohol was allowed. I thought this was a joke, I'd already had to deal with this situation in Jaipur, but that was one meal, this was a couple of days, although we'd just arrived, I wanted to leave Pushkar. After dropping our bags at the room, we met for lunch in the hotel restaurant, I opted for a 'palak paneer', because I thought the second word reminded me of 'pioneer'. As we waited for our food to be cooked, we all made a joke about the dreaded green curry I had in Agra, I even said at one point “I bet this one's blue”, while everyone else joined in making similar remarks. Our food swiftly arrived, to my sheer horror, my curry was once again, bright green, I thought this was some sort of sick joke that someone had played on me, the whole table was laughing at me and my curry, I was so upset. The curry was a spinach based one with huge lumps of cottage cheese, not what you expect from a curry, so I had a couple of mouthfuls and left the rest, I couldn't stomach eating anymore.



After my terrifying ordeal with lunch, a few of us took advantage of the hotel pool, although it wasn't the cleanest pool I've ever been in. As I stood in the pool, I couldn't see my feet at the bottom, and not to worry ourselves, the other guys on our group decided there was too much chlorine in the pool, nothing else, but we agreed it didn't look like a pool where you'd put your head under the water. After a couple of hours of enjoying the sun and the pool, we got ready for the evening, a camel ride into the back and beyond of Pushkar, sounded great if you enjoy camel rides, which I don't. On our summer holiday to Tunisia in 2010, Lotty had convinced me to go on a 2 day trip into the sahara desert which included a 3 hour camel trek. I had problems walking for a few hours after that camel trek and didn't want to ever experience it again, but it was either that or stay in the alcohol free hotel on my own, so, dressed in traditional Indian clothes, and sporting the worlds biggest turban, coincidently the biggest in our group, we set off.



I was bored after about 5 minutes, and the guy holding my camel wasn't exactly full of conversation, apart from when he pointed at a lake and said “Pushkar lake”, state the obvious why don't you mate. As we painfully plodded on, going further and further into the wilderness, the camel in-front of me kept farting a pooing like there was no tomorrow, the terrible smells kept wafting in my face. We eventually stopped for 10 minutes, which gave me a chance to get the blood flowing in my painful genitals, and set off again for a while until we got to our 'restaurant'. Our evening meal was to served in a sandy field on rickety old plastic benches by a bunch of gypsies. While the food was being prepared, the women performed a local dance for us, and the asked us to join in, I declined the offer only to see one of them, about 4ft 8, sprint towards me and basically leapfrog the table to try and drag me up, but I managed to slip away quite strategically.



The food was served a short time later and for vegetarian food it was okay, quite spicy and there was loads of it, I'd finish one plate and the guy's who had cooked it came and filled my plate again and again. For our trip back to the hotel we had 2 options for transport, camels or jeep's, thankfully, everyone opted for the jeep's. We climbed into a couple of vehicles which looked like they'd only just survived the Vietnam war and headed back to the hotel. I was sat in the back of the jeep holding on for dear life as we shot through the narrow roads, avoiding cows, dogs and people in the pitch black. We made it back to the hotel in one piece, and headed to bed ready for an early start the next morning.



Our next day started at 8:30, we walked down to Pushkar lake for a quick tour, and watched one as a few of the group took part in a ritual by the lakeside. The lake is sacred and no shoes are to be warn within 40ft of it, which wouldn't be so bad if you didn't have to constantly avoid, cow, dog and bird poo all over the floor. From there, we headed to a local restaurant for breakfast and then on to a nearby temple. As we were given a quick intro about the history and use of the temple, I noticed a small crowd gathering around us, this was becoming a regularity, locals seemed intrigued by us, just listening to what we were being told and curious about westerners in general. Temple tour done, the day was ours, we were free to do as we wished. Slowly walking back to the hotel in the midday sun, Lotty and one of the other girls stopped at every shop on the way back, for a look around while I was getting hot, bored and needed a cold drink. Eventually back at the hotel, we headed for the pool once more, enjoying the heat of Pushkar for a few hours.



We had been told about an event in the town called 'tourist day', and told that if we wanted to see it, to meet by the lake at 16:30. As we'd lazed around for a few hours doing nothing, we headed down and made ourselves comfortable in a restaurant right on the street, ready for the parade. Not long after we arrived, the parade started, people dancing, playing drums, setting fireworks off and having a good time right in-front of us. The parade lasted for about an hour and was really good, it was nice to see that people of Pushkar had put on this parade for tourists, which only takes place once a year, so we where in Pushkar at the perfect time.



After the parade we made a quick stop at the hotel to freshen up and get ready for dinner. The restaurant was different from the traditional ones we'd been eating in, this one had a couple of sitting areas set up on a step with lots of cushions, basically to relax while enjoying your food. We watched another Bollywood film while we waited for, and ate our food, a new film called 'Delhi Belly'. It's similar to the recent film 'The Hangover', everyone loved it, it was hilarious, I was again surprised by a Bollywood film, the one we watched in Jaipur was okay, but this one was amazing.



Our stay in Pushkar was over, the next morning we headed for Udaipur, a town that our guide is very familiar with as he spent a lot of his younger years there and knew the area very well. We piled into Jeep’s for a trip to the next city called Ajmer to catch our coach. I was shocked at how busy the city was to drive through, I'd never even heard of Ajmer, but it was by far the most chaotic one we'd driven through so far. We got to our coach without a problem, apart from the guy who slightly crashed his motorbike into the back our Jeep because he was looking at us westerners and not at the road, silly man. Our coach was a sleeper coach, the area that normally holds bags above the seats, has beds for long journeys, we had been warned that the coach will stop and pick up a lot more passengers on the way, which will try and sit on your seat too, but kindly tell them to sod off.



The coach itself was rather good by Indian standards, the seats where large with good legroom and had a standard semi-recline position. As we knew we had another 7-8 hours to endure, I put on my I-pod and sat there watching the world go by. About halfway into our journey, the coach was quite full, I'd been intelligent and sat at a seat which had a ladder to get up to the beds next to it, so no-one could try and sit on my seat or arm rest. Unfortunately for the Aussie guy on our group sat just in-front of me, he ended up with someone sat on his arm rest, and an old lady sat on the floor half under his legs. I found this quite funny as a short time before, someone was sick out of the window above which came in through their window, covering his wife’s seat, so he had his wife leaning on him on one side, and an Indian guy sat on his arm rest, all the while I was making fun of his situation.



Lotty's version;

Our next stop was Jaipur. After settling in, having a wash and some food (I managed to mix it up abit and have chips with my curry!) we went for a walk around the old city. Jaipur is nicknamed 'the pink city' because in 1876 the old town was painted pink to welcome the prince of Wales, it is still maintained today. Jaipur is even more crazy, just when you think nothing else suprises you a camel strolls past, or even an elephant! I just can't describe the sights, smells and sounds. Try to imagine a cow a pig and a dog all eating from a pile of rubbish on the floor, bizzare but smelly. Add in the constant beeping of horns, some background Indian music and people everywhere shouting and trying to sell you things. Then add some spice shops which smell of fresh chillis and masala and you have an idea of what we are experiencing.

We wandered through the old town and then got cycle rickshaws to the cinema to watch a bollywood film. The rickshaw is a new, not very comfortable experience for us, but I guess we were more comfortable than the guy cycling! After some near misses and loads of people staring at us we arrived at the cinema. The film we had come to see is the newest release called Heroine, its about a bollywood actress and her turbulent relationships with work and men and apparently based on a true story. I was suprised by it as it wasn't how I expected bollywood to be, it was serious, explicit and dark. Furthermore I've never seen someone cry so much in one film! Seriously I just wanted to shake her, she was a nutter! The best part was possibly the audience. They were wolf whistling and cheering. What was strange though was the number of screaming kids and mobile phones ringing in the cinema!

Afterwards we went for dinner. We had previously believed £10 for a meal and beers to be cheap, here we had 3 cokes, a masala roti (a big filled pancake) and a huge thali and it came to £4.80. It was amazing food to. Returning to our hotel ready for bed our guide proclaimed he had a bottle of whiskey and anyone was welcome to join for a nightcap. We had a bottle of pomegranate, Acai berry and blueberry absolut from the airport, he got the hotel to open the shop so we could get some lemonade and needless to say, we didn't get an early night.

Next morning we arose bright an early for a day sightseeing in Jaipur. We had a tuktuk for the whole day, to run us around costing around £5! Our first stop, the amber fort was built in 1592 using financial gains made from war plundering. An impressive mix of sandstone and marble it served as a palace and the insides are intricately carved and adorned with artwork. It had an amazing view and all around was a wall that wouldn't look out of place in a picture of china! The highlight however had to be the journey up there. We rode up on elephants. They are so beautiful with their big sad eyes I fell in love immediately! It took us about 45 minutes to get our elephants, however the endless hawkers vs planty provided all the entertainment we required! I spent the time in stitches at the cocky, smart ass comments to the sellers that were persistent and irritating to be polite. We got on our elephant from a platform. They were all brightly painted with a flat seat on the top for us. We headed up, the scenary was amazing, like a film set. Unfortunatly two elephants infront were a pair of typical Brits abroad. The guy topless and girl in a bikini they were loud and obnoxious, obviously the boarding gate for India was next to the one for benidorm in the airport they flew from! After being covered in elephant snot from her trunk and told by the elephant man we didn't give a big enough tip (10% wasn't enough apparently) we thanked our elephant and went to explore the fort. Here we wittnessed what we had been forewarned about, the Indians love of the British. We had seen them stare and take pictures on the sly, on our rickshaw journey the previous night I had resorted to a queen wave because that's how I felt! In the fort a group came up to us "aww you English? Please can we have photo with you?" Planty began protesting but in the end it was easier to agree, so somewhere in India there is a picture of us with a few locals!

Another highlight occured on the way down when planty saw the snake charmers. I thought it was funny anyway, he's such a pansy! we then left the fort for dinner, in the way out we were bombarded with the usual touts and hawkers, each carrying the same bloody carved elephants and sparkly pens and each offering them for around 10p! Another common sight are women with babies begging for money to buy food for their babies. we were hassled by a pair so badly one of the girls gave in and gave them a banana, to this one of the woman shook her head and said "no my baby needs money", not a substantial foodstuff if you ask me! We had started walking up to our tuktuks when we realised two of the party were missing. We turned round to see them marching towards us pied piper style with half of Indias hawkers in tow. They are the most enthusiastic out of all of us for shopping and the sight of them being hounded by so many was quite funny. As the sellers swarmed us they were bundled into a tuk tuk and we were off!

Our tuktuk driver was hillarious, he had a huge speaker system wired up in the back of his tuktuk and was BLASTING the latest uk chart hits. At one point he pulled over and turned to planty and told him it was his turn to drive, possibly the most nerve wracking part of India so far, however we came out of it unschathed! After a curry buffet for lunch we were told it was time to go to the museum. Having seen enough history for the day there was a collective agreement to sacrifice the museum and go shopping! First off was a visit to a textile factory. Indias tourist trap, We had seen this before in the form of a carpet factory in turkey and papayrus factory in Egypt. I was made to get up and be dressed in a sari. I hate getting up Infront of people, It scares me to death. However I got up and a particularly smelly Indian man proceeded to wrap me in 6 meters of purple fabric adorned with silver elephants while people took photographs! I was quite excited about sari shopping in India, however I definitely cannot remember how to put it on! The one I tried wasn't particularly beautiful, however most that you see are. The ladies put so much effort into their dress and the saris are beautiful and colourful.

After our sari excitement came shopping, some amazingly cheap scalves and hippie pants later the decision was made (more enthusiastically by the males in our group) to go and get some beer and sit on the particularly nice roof terrace of the hotel. By the time we left for dinner I think we were more ready for bed! After a particularly spicy creation we returned back to the hotel, packed and still had time for a luxurious 8 hour sleep!

The next day we were up handy for a bus journey to pushkar. Our transport appears to be degrading each time. We went from a train to a coach to this, with skanky curtains, missing windows and seats that have seen better days, Plantys face was a picture when he saw it! Still there was no goats or chickens on it, and we were sat inside and not on the roof so it could always be worse! The thing about India is just when you think you've seen it all it turns round and informs you that you haven't. On this journey we saw a cow, stood calmly chewing the cud in the middle of the highway as lorries and buses swerve to avoid her. This isn't normal to us, but after the last few days we are not really phased by it, however a while later we passed a man trundling along on a moped, with a goat, calmly sat in a bag on the back of it.... Only in India!

We were told the highway was good, apart from 5km on the way into pushkar. It was difficult to determine where this started and i think there may have been a printing error and they missed the 0 off 50km. Therefore after a particularly bumpy ride and some very near misses, we arrived in Pushkar. The home of the biggest animal market in Asia and one of only a few Brahma temples making it a prominent Hindu pilgrimage town. Unfortunatly this also meant the town is strictly vegetarian and no alcohol is allowed! Our bus navigated sharp bends, mopeds, camels, wild pigs and cows down an increasingly rustic dirt track until pulling up at our hotel. With an Indian meets colonial style, the hotel was complete with pool, mango trees and cornfields, it was beautiful and a relief because when we booked a "basic" trip with G adventures I dreaded the accomodation more than anything! We were greeted by a man giving us roses and told that we were to be upgraded as there was not enough normal rooms! Deluxe was nice, however remaining typically Indian in the fact that you couldn't get to the toilet without going through the shower and the power cut out about 5 times a day.

Our plan for the evening was simply to be dressed in authentic dress then take a sunset stroll into the desert on camel. I was excited about Sari wearing again.... However that soon waned when I was handed matching pink floral singlet and full skirt and a pink scarf edged with tinsel, local dress apparently! My horror lessened slightly however when I realised planty was wearing a turban! We were allocated camels. Mine "Krishna" was possibly the biggest camel I have ever seen in my life, he was huge! They are really healthy but slender here, not like the scabby fleabitten things we rode in Tunisia. They also look really graceful with their springy legs but maintain a goofy, comical air. They also have loads of personality which I quickly discovered when Krishna turned round and wiped his slobber all down my beautiful outfit!

Strolling through pushkar on my giant camel, waving at the kids who stop to say hello like we were something special I thought to myself I could get used to this. The camel has a springy gait and when they pick up speed they just spring a little more making it quite a comfy ride, like they have some sort of built in suspension. My day dreaming was shattered by my camel minion man flinging me the reins and running off into the bushes for a wee. My camel went from noble steed of the Maharajas to complete pain in the bum! He made a beeline to every piece of greenery, insisting on sampling every leaf, shoot and particularly thorny tree, dragging me through them in the process. I kicked, tugged on the reins and shouted, however we were going where the camel wanted and at his pace (which normally meant right up the bum of the camel infront!) after about two hours we stopped for dinner. Right in the middle of nowhere our camels were unsaddled and left to roll around in the sand we made our way up the hill to a few delapedated benches surrounded by cows and dogs. We were given soft drinks and crisps ad watched the animals play and the sun set.

When it went dark they lit a campfire and pulled out something that resembled a glow-worm attached to a gas canister which was lit and scarily sat on a wicker chair for height. Then some gypsy dancers appeared as entertainment. Some singing, dancing and a few refusals to get up later it was finally time to eat. Considering we were in the middle of nowhere and the only building was a concrete shell the food was fantastic! Curry, rice, naan and poppadums kept coming until we were stuffed! Then they carried on dancing. The last act was a fire eater. He was also brilliant, however sometimes a little close for comfort! For the journey back we were given the option of camel or jeep. I seemed to be the only taker for a camel ride in the pitch black so we were separated into two jeeps. Us "young people" were put in a vehicle with no windows or suspension, what it did have was a very loud cd player and quickly became dubbed the "party jeep" to the delight of our driver. All eleven of us hurtled along at breakneck speed getting covered in a layer of dust, music blaring, horn honking, it was possibly the best introduction to Pushkar you could have!

The next morning we were allowed to lie in until 8.30 then it was out for a walk of Pushkar, its main street is made up of bazaars and stalls selling clothes, food, spices, samuri swords.. But the main focus of the town is the lake. Surrounded by 52 ghats (bathing stations) each one is significant for gods appearing or for example Gandhi ghat is where Ghandis ashes are scattered. It is not the nicest looking religious artefact in India, infact i was relieved we were not allowed to go for a swim, if the ganges is the most polluted river in the world, this had to be a run off pool! After removing our shoes out of respect and dodging cow pats and other suspicious looking items we were given the option of receiving a blessing from a Brahman. I am not a religious person but understand and respect peoples reasons for their faith, and although Hinduism is fast becoming my favourite with their beliefs that all animals have souls and if you feed and look after the animals you have good karma. I just didn't feel comfortable with the idea of being blessed. Especially because of the devotion Hindus put into coming here. It just didn't feel right for me so I passed on the offer and chose to watch the others and discuss the rudeness of two people taking photos of a big group of locals we had been informed were praying for lost loved ones. Anyway, a short while later it was time for breakfast! I had lemon and sugar pancakes with a glass of freshly squeezed lemon juice which was like sorbet. The good thing about this trip is that our guide pickes places that have a good, safe reputation and although they cost a little more between planty and myself our food and drinks regularly fall around the £3-4 mark, even for curries and the trimmings! Its crazy. After breakfast we visited the famous Brahman temple, built entirely on donations it was neither spectacular or impressive, however adorning every surface was a carving to commemorate a loved one so it was quite a sad experience. Leaving the temple we wandered through the market, did some bartering, which I am terrible at here! I know you're supposed too but when an outragious price for him would feed his family for a week but for me its a few pound I feel like a terrible person! Anyway we meandered back to the hotel for a few hours of sunbathing by the pool and a quick dip in its slightly opaque waters.

After we headed back into town for front row seats to the yearly tourism festival. We ordered some chilli pakoras (Plantys choice) and sat and waited for the parade. There was music and dancers, we were all given garlands to wear and there were even some local celebrities; including the regions best camel! Animals and people were adorned with brightly coloured headdresses, intricately embroidered outfits and copious volumes of jewellery and they all performed and posed as the sunset over pushkar lake. Afterwards we made our way to where we were eating, tired but too hungry to miss. In the 'restaurant' we were sat in comfy circular structures and told if we wanted we could watch a bollywood movie whilst we ate. The film was "Delhi belly" and similar to "the hangover" in context. It was still not what I expected from a bollywood film, being hilarious and crude, I can't believe how it could be popular in such a seemingly conservative society. After the film it was straight to bed as we were leaving the hotel at 5am to hike up to the saraswati temple.

5am came around far to quickly, especially as planty had been up ill in the night. I left for the trek bleery eyed and without him. The 20 min walk to the base was actually around 45. By the time we had got there I was hungry and had a headache, we began our ascent, the path beginning as steps but too quickly becoming steep rocks. I was bright red, sweaty and couldn't breathe by the time we reached the summet. The view was pretty impressive and I was happy to sit and watch the sunrise, the monkeys squabbling and the dogs teasing them whilst I recovered. It was then we realized the amount of people photographing us. We had got used to it, the not so subtle stares and obvious waving of phones. I don't mind if they ask and had started turning away to be awkward if they didn't, however sat up on the summet I didnt care, infact I was satisfied that somewhere in India I would be sat looking sweaty and grumpy in somebodys pilgrimage to pushcar photo album! On our descent (which proved more tretcherous) I felt like a celebrity, everyone wants to shake your hand and have a picture with you. Also out of the market they had no ulterior motive, being in a group I felt safe to comply. We made our way back to the restaurant we were eating dinner in, I arrived first with another couple and it was all locked up, we stood for a minute waiting for the others when the guys neighbour came and started shouting and banging on the door to wake him up. He opened the door and we entered, in the corner on one if the tables was a pile blankets, obviously where he slept! I cannot get used to people sleeping like that but it is so common, if you walk round the hotel late at night all the staff are sleeping on the floor. Its so difficult to comprehend! We ate quickly by indian standards and then left to get back and pack. On the way back we stopped at a shop to get some water and snacks for the journey. We had heard horror stories about how beggers break their childrens limbs to make people feel sorry for them and the shopkeeper looked like he was a victim. His legs looked contorted and were not fully formed and he shuffled around on his bum. Although its a horrendous situation his determination and spirit was inspiring, he could so easily have been a begger on the street, but he was working and I was so impressed by him!

We left for Udaipur in jeeps, the journey was off the beaten track and then over a mountain road to the next town. The journey was hair raising to say the least, we had a motorbike go into the back of us because he was too busy staring and an impatiant truck overtaking us had a near miss on the other side of the road. As we entered into the town it only got worse. The most manic place we have seen so far there were clearly too many people and animals for the road. We made it to our bus which was to take us for the seven hour journey to Udaipur. From the outside it looked relatively new, however the inside was a different story. Our seats were massive, above our heads was sleeper cabins which apparently the locals cram into. There were no goats or chickens but it did serve as a local bus. We had assigned seats but they piled above our heads and into the isle. They again were staring and taking sly photos of us and didn't tire of it! The journey itself was dreadful. The whole bus vibrated and rattled down the new highway making doing anything- including sleeping impossible. I spent the whole time trying not to be sick, someone above us was sick down the window infront of us. If the locals are being sick imagine how our delicate western stomachs were feeling! We were kept going by the prospect of beer meat in our next destination!

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Comments

[Aunty Grace]

Hello!
Your blog is wonderful, never thought you were that good. With all the booze are you sure its not pink elephants, and green curries? Take care, and enjoy your journey. Grace & Phil. x