reaching heights on paradise

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Fireflys In Flight

Hundreds of fireflys looming overhead and in the distance. Dancing in the air, as the sun is setting over the Arabian Sea, a jungle lined shore, deep black rocks, pinks and purples stretching across the sky from the bright orange ball of a sun. Sitting on a cliff of a friends hut, overlooking the beach and ocean strectching out to the horizon of beautiful blues, while my friend Ralph plays the Hang, a unique, beautiful instruement, i think from switzerland; Deep vibrations penetrate my soul- rocks me on an emotional level... paradise... gazing at the fireflys hundreds of them flying overhead in the setting sun, gazing in a meditative like state, in bliss, so much love and appreciation for the moment, for the whole energy of the place- i instantly felt at home there.

Connected Again

connected again...
in the moment again
happy and healthy
and
my heart filled with overflowing
love
and
appreciation



Domesticated birds shout for freedom ,
free birds fly

Friends and Realizations

Community- true community, everything shared, whats mine is yours, love and lightness carrying the group. Some amazing people on paradise beach- some of the people i met there have helped continue to show me a way down a free, true path. Beautiful people from around the world- with such interesting, alternative lives, intelligent, open minded, grounded, inspiring, fun people. Music a big part of the beach, some amazing musicians, singers, drummers, guitar players, flute players, a violinst- from a sweedish orchestra!- a digaredoo- dancing all day and night, over the bonfire on the beach with music and friends. I can not express the love i have for the people i met on the beach and the special few i had the chance to know and learn from and share some of my thoughts with as well. Kiran, my nepali friend got the chance to get work off and come join me on paradise. and it was one of the most beauitiful experiences of sharing paradise with kiran- paradise is a special place with special energy and also had a strong effect on kiran.

For me it was as if everything that i've learned on my whole trip and the things i was exploring more- all of it sort of clicked for me on this beach. Some universal truths, things about life, and this life, learning to truly live in the moment, simply with nature and beautiful, free, inspiring people, learning a new meaning of being free- finding myself, letting out more of whats in me, because it was a warm, welcoming, non judging community of friends, where there was more than enough of love and support for one another- good friends and living with one another and becoming family. I learned a lot about myself and what's important to me, and feeling more connected, balanced, happy and free than i have in my whole life. Right now im back in belgium- a little apprehension to come back to western culture, but actually from living in the moment i really didnt think about it so much, and im happy to find it's easy for me to adapt back, and im focusing on the beautiful people i know here and had a connection with that started 2 years ago, and rediscovering and being around those connections- makes me feel even more full of love and appreciation. Being recieved with such open arms, and thinking about going back to see my philly sisters soon for a few days- and then going home where fairfax is full of this openness, and alternative and healthy and connected energies, and yeah- friends and homes around the world- and ive never felt more whole and radiating as i do now, so im looking forward to coming to share it with you all and pick up some love from you as well 😉 I will be home at the end of december...

My friend kiran wrote me this poem about his experience on paradise beach, and what he felt and how he was connected and his realizations:



"First I saw god, love, and freedom. Then I realize that some how that's secret of
everything. Whole universe is one, all the gods are for love and
happiness, and everything is beautiful. Then I felt alive seeing
everything beautiful and the truth of nature how much beauty it can
give. Then I turn myself into water while I was swimming and it felt
so good, then I climb the cliff to watch the sunset then I felt air so
nice and I made myself flying towards to the horizon to be as close to
the sun to catch the beauty. And found myself going deeper and deeper
into peace and happiness.

I'm the one to make myself happy, and only I'll be the one. All the
things are just for a short period they are just coming and going, and
most of the time I'll be alone, so why to worry or spend time in
sadness, or try to find happiness through different sources its all
worthless they are only for a while. I should be happy and enjoy the
power and beauty of my heart and who always speak truth and love with
me and who will never leave me alone and how happy I can be with it
and share all my feelings, so be happy and try to find the happiness
in loneliness. Not to take life seriously otherwise it will be
difficult to get out from it."

The Art of Loving and Being Loved and Appreciated

We all want to feel special- when you are able to connect with someone- what you put out there- how much youre able to open up your heart is what you're going to get back- with everyone, with friends, intimate partners, even strangers. What energy we give off and state we put ourselves in, is what we' re going to attract, and so obviously it's so important to be truly happy and connected with yourself and your world and a connection and unattachment to everything. And it feels so good to give and share love- to notice these unique speical things about someone, a friend, guest house owner, to appreicate those things and share them with love and attention. feels so good from the heart and for the soul and in return they also see the beauty in you and make you feel special- it's a magical exchange of energy.

Open Yourself Up
Feel happy and secure about yourself
on a deep rooted level
Give love
Receive Love
Beauty and appreciation

And an unattachment to it all. i've realized such an importance of the necisity for a solid foundation of happiness with yourself. We need to feel happy on a deep level with ourselves and still feel connected and loved even when we're on our own. And the people that come in and out of our lives, even our family, parents, children, friends, lovers, everyone- for sure they can add happiness to our lives, they can build on the foundation that we already have with ourselves- and when they leave, on a physical level, of course we feel sad and they do take away the happiness with them that they added to our lives- and sometimes its a lot- but its not ALL of our happiness. If we have a strong foundation with ourselves, and can feel connected and grounded, i think it makes healing from someone leaving your life less painful.

A Tribute to the Arabian Sea

She has taught me,
loved me, held me, made me feel beautiful,
connected and free,
she has helped show me my way.

A turquiose twinkling sea
reaching out to the hoirzon.
Dancing lights on the surface
all day long and during sunset.
Layers of currents revealing themselves
and the energy that is made up of it all.
Dolphins jumping in the distance.
Phosphorescence at night,
glowing green lights in the water.

The comfort of sliding your body into the warm salt water.
She envelops you, caresses and holds you,
makes you feel completely safe in her vast being.

Swimming great distances, miles- straight out,
she holds you with so much love,
you trust and feel FREE to roam her waters.
Dipping under water, her strong currents and forces of water,
the energy,
an opportunity to
FEEL THE UNIVERSAL LIFE FORCE
She is all encompassing of this energy, everything is,
but in her, in the Arabian sea, she gives you the
opportunity to feel this energy with our physical/conscious bodies,
to feel it and understand it, she reveals this energy in such beauty.

My Beauty

Doesn't come from me
a release of the ego
an understanding that
ALL IS ONE
therefore i am the same as all of my surroundings
and how much beauty is there in the world?

on paradise- one of the most beautiful periods of my life.
Feeling connected to beautiful people and beautiful surroundings
I am the same as them
I AM BEAUTIFUL
but I am beautiful because of their beauty.

A loss of ego
in a way i feel my beauty has nothing to do with me
and it makes the beauty full with more love and connectedness

I feel as though i'm shining, because i got myself to a certain state of awareness and appreciation. I've been working on myself for awhile- and im at the beginning of the road, but on the road- on and off, but things have begun to stick with me- some of my practices:

yoga, and the philosophy, meditation, qi gong, reiki

all help me feel more connected to this energy, more connected to everything else and to the present moment. They have started to make a small foundation in me, as i explore them more and more, i like what i learn and how it makes me feel and i think it offers a beautiful perspective to look at life and live this life- for the first time in my life ive started to discover more concretely what it is i believe in-something bigger than me. I can not imagine what heights i may get at if the little experience i have in these practices now put me in this placenow- where on paradise i could shine and be happy on such a deep level and still be able to carry this feeling with me to belgium, and im not afraid to lose it now as i move on to philly then fairfax. I attribute a lot of my happineess to my development in these practices.

They open up the door, for presence in the moment, to feel connected, to have love and freedom in your life, to be deeply appreciative of the beauty and wonders around us at every moment.

THIS IS THE LIFE I WANT TO LIVE

Realized Truths

All is One
everything- the same energy, the same spirit in all things- we're all connected

Community Living
sharing everything, big group of people- some coming and going and a lot staying- but a large sense of community. what's mine is yours mentality
the group is always able to provide what anyone needs, and it feels so good when you have something to share as well!

Nudity
stripping the layers away- a feeling of here i am- being exposed on the outside opens up a freedom to expose yourself also on the inside and to feel comfortable and accepted for whats truly there and loved for it.

a strong sexual connection our culture has with nudity- and of course there is that element, im not completely unaware of that aspect of being naked- but with open people- one of my best friends on the beach- antonio, a big naked spanish guy that speaks with that funny spanish lisp, and plays the recorder and is full of life- always naked- it just always kinds of sets off the feeling that- yeah im being free in india.

Openness to self-development
critical feedback
Release all defense mechanisms- critique on the self is healthy- allows us to better understand ourselves, how we are perceived by others; and its difficult to always be aware of our thoughts and sometimes even our actions. Other people can help us see these things- and then there's a chance or opportunity to be more aware of this quality in ourselves, and then be able to change it if we feel its a more healthy way to be. and become a better person for it. to not be defensive to these critics lets our guards down, its not the truth people are speaking but just their perspectives, know we're not perfect and see it as a chance to do some self discovery and become a better person, but also to be aware that everyone has different interpretations of us, but when similar themes are brought up then maybe its worth then to consider that issue more deeply.

Virtues and Positivity
I think it would be good if we all looked at ourselves and think of a few virtues that are most important to us in our lives- and live our lives fully accordingly to these virues. there will always be buts and complications, but if you apply these virtues to the situation i believe there will always be a path you would feel better in your heart for following- and anything is possible.

My Virtues that ive come up with so far- or considering

complete honesty and openness
love
living as one with nature
interest in discovering a truth
living in a sharing community
having a healthy lifestyle
dancing

I think if i make an effort to always have these things in my life- ill be happy and fulfilled on a certain level.

The Pillar of happiness with ourselves

first be happy with ourselves, completely grounded, open, centered and realize our own beauty. i've realized some of my beauty here on paradise- ive been working on myself- im at a beautiful spot now and surrounded with love and support.

first make ourselves happy
then we can start to expand that happiness and share with others in our lives.
but first focus on those closest to us and make sure they are happy and we have healthy relationships with these people who are closest to us in our lives, then start to expand and into our community and so on. and then the world will be perfect 😉

As i sat down to write this blog about my last month on paradise beach- as i often do, was having trouble to find my words. so i have taken entries out of my diary- a little scary in a way- of opening up and sharing this much from my trip- and i know my parents are so afraid im going to write something that crosses the line- and maybe ive crossed a line and shared too much- i cant tell- but i choose to think, that the people on this blog are the people in my life and you all have shown me nothing but love and support for who i am- and this is something important for me and i need people to know this about me to continue to support me on my path- as i hope i have the opportunity to do the same for you. I have been feeling very free and high on life, but i still feel grounded with a good head on my shoulders, and havent lost touch of reality. Just starting to think a little BIG!!! 😉

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Photos

some of the gang
up in antonio and vadim's tree/cliff house

Naked antonio taking fire wood up to his hut ;)
always good to have a big nake spaniard around that like to sing at the top of his lungs and play the reocrder ;)

Excitement
antionio and vadim- 2 of the freeist people ive met in my life- true inspirations for me

Anderson and me
getting in the mood for a bonfire

me and my hut
i had one of the best spots on the beach- with a beautiful view of the ocean- my lioness lair

oh leroy- those crazy english
i donated some panties for the new moon celebration

bonfire
no good fire shots- but an idea

me and my girls
fee, michele and i- heading up to goa for a few days of boogying- fee being a veteran of the scene- we had a good time ;)

the camp out
playing the doo and preparing fish

Moolie
the guest house owner on paradise that turned into a brother/father type- or at least he put up with me pretty well

Comments

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Thank You Miss Kee.