No Bang in Bangalore

---

Originally I had plans to bypass Bangalore but because its turned out to be so close to Mysore I figured it was worth inspecting the “countries most progressive city”. And it is was it is, corrupted by the western world. The Indian culture and lifestyle is overshadowed by modern day technology, high rise buildings, western food (or attempts at it) as well as dress, style and attitude. The city itself is massive and overwhelmingly large and has the pollution to match. Two hours walking around the streets is pretty much all you can handle before you are overwhelmed and nauseous from the intoxicating diesel fumes. The city is known as the “Garden City” due to its attempt at a New York style central park which resembles a dirty patch of land hoarding seedy looking characters.

The term progressive city means that women’s Sari’s make way for jeans and tight tops, Lunghis (male sari) are substituted for trousers, shirt and tie while the local hawkers and street vendors are pushed aside by fast food giants and coffee bars. Down the main streets the American fast food chains spread like cancer infecting the street, McDonalds lines up against KFC and Wimpy, while across the road Reebok, Prada and Levi stores provide air-conditioned shown rooms with prices on labels more than some people earn in a month. Its not the India I came to see.

Mind you that said I did decided to make the most of a bad situation and indulge in some western luxuries. After spending the day exploring the city and taking in the sights (as well as the toxic carbon monoxide fumes), the second day became a “me” day. The morning involved sipping black coffee at the local coffee bar which had playing the top 30 chart music hits (at least it was Indian pop). This followed by a stroll down the main commercial strip to see what McDonald’s had to offer. Now I don’t really eat the crap at home but I was curious to see what they served up as well a beef burger as such was out of the question. To start with I could have been back home as soon as I walked in the door, uniforms the same, décor, service all identical. Arhhhh. Then the menu, no Quarter-Pounder with cheese, no Big Mac instead a McAloo Tikki (potato cake in a bun) and the ultimate Chicken Maharaja Mac, their version of the Big Mac, and I just had to give it a go. Oh what a mistake. The patti’s were the most refined processed things I’ve ever seen, pink/yellow in color (stained by the curried flavoring) with a texture not far off tofu. Not good. But as always the fries came out like they do on the adverts, can’t fuck those things up can you! I don’t understand why Indian people would even both with the crap when they have such good quality food right on there door step.

Ok so a trip to the city isn’t complete without a visit to the cinema. So for the small fee of $3 I took me, myself and I to the movies to watch the new Bond movie, Casino Royal (and I though Craig Daniels was an alright bond to). But this simple adventure was not with out its hassles. The standard thing that Indian’s do apparently is stop the movie half way with the words ‘interval’ on the screen and allow everyone the opportunity for a leak, stretch the legs and restock on pop corn. This together with a power failure further in the movie meant the inconvenient pauses throughout the movie became a little frustrating. Only in India.

Bangalore was an experience that allowed me to recalibrate my western ways, but other than that it has no appeal what so ever. Definitely not worth the return visit.

---

Photos

Vidhana Soudha
A fine display of Bangalore's architecture.

Warning signs.
Do they know something we don't? Scarey!

Another warning sign
Road rules, not that that actually inforce them but the thought is there.

Maharaja retreat
A replica of Winsdor Castle in India, how very noble.

MG road
Although big city, like anywhere in the world.