A poetic duel

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Last night, my chores were done, my body ached soothingly, I was ready for bed. My tranquility was broken asunder on the way out my en suite, yyep mmhm. The single largest and meanest looking spider I'd ever seen, in real; tv, Google images, etc obviously don't count. So there is worse, but I could see its bent sinewy legs and its flesh digging, poison injecting pincers. It was sat so still so calm so confident, it's eyes boring into me. It new something i didn't. I searched the room for a deadly weapon to combat this terror; my converse. I crept to the entrance, and craned my neck, I saw it, and it saw me. And I crept back. The sweat glands had already begun to churn, and the perspiration now began to seep through. I crept forward again, 'Once more, unto the breach dear friends, once more', and then crept back. We were warriors dancing around each other, feeling each other out, thrusting, parrying, it was all in the footwork. I needed an edge. And I had the answer. I covered my whole body so those deadly pincers would be rendered useless. Trousers, long shirt, socks, socks on hands, a towel held out matador-style to entice but not engage, to deftly faint and then strike. And so I crept to the entrance again. The rabble rousing words of Shakespeare ringing in my ears, my hairs standing on end. Our stares locked in another death defying duel of equal strength and guile. And I crept back. The perspiration was now seeping more freely. A practice lunge on the wall, aahya, another on a different wall, aahya, another wall received the subtle but deadly practice blow. I was ready. I crept to the entrance...and I crept back again. My inner warrior was in confusion. Ok mine sworn enemy, mine fated foe, nae, mine nemesis, 'no more toying with me'. And foil aloft, chin proudly tilted, towel dangling off my left hand, I bravely breached the entrance. The strike was swift. Between my converse swinging and seeing the spider again on the floor dead, blind panic. The vanquisher (me) lay in bed, my previously sleep induced eyes now fully alert, I Google 'India deadly spiders'. There's definitely deadly spiders in India, not sure if in my area though. I contemplate getting my mosi net up...it's on the other side of the room, i'll be ok.

The following morning I wanted Reeta to assuage me somehow of any future threat. Perhaps, the only deadly spiders are in the South? or maybe that was a particularly rare occurrence, no chance of it happening again!? 'You saw spider?' Was that an amused look? Did she have any ideas she was conversing with Sir Lancelot? 'Did you sleep with it?' Hehehe. So she is joking. I read somewhere that in some Indian cultures to kill anything was deemed such a horror they even step over ants. 'Uhhhh, I kindaaaa,...Uhhhh, killed it...?' 'Ok, no problem'. Phew. uh but wait a minute, this wasn't the point. I must make it clear how deadly a foe I had locked horns with. 'This big' the gap my hands were making getting bigger as she stared unperturbed. 'Many spiders?' My lame attempt to engage in some sort of meaningful conversation on this subject. She takes a moment to think 'In forest, spiders...scorpions...snakes' if you didn't understand English you might think she was running through her morning shopping list. Ok, more info please, I'm a little perturbed right now, 'poisonous?' Again the nonchalant pause, 'uhh yyes'... W.T.F. The mosi net's going up.

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