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Published: April 25th 2012
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Someday there will be many pages devoted to my 3 days in Goa, but for now, i am unfortunately pressed for time. With so much to write about, it seems hard to compress it into a single blog entry....so i will do my best to give you glimpses into the world that was and is my special time in Goa.
We weren't even going to stay in Goa, Aman and i. We got in on monday early in the morning from an overnight train, with the intention of booking an overnight train back on wednesday. At the train station we learned that trains only run on monday and thursday to bangalore, so we realized we'd have to fly. But over breakfast, Aman realized that she'd forgotten her passport....so flying was no longer an option. So, it was looking like we'd have to turn right around on the monday night train, and take our rain sodden, bleary glimpse of goa and go. I was ok with it. For me, sitting inside with the sea in view while it dumps rain, and having to pay lots of money to do it seemed like a waste of time. I was ready to
take off. Aman was more hesitant, and when we realized we could take a bus back to bangalore, we opted to stay until wednesday.
It dumped rain that day. I went around from internet cafe to internet cafe, trying to finish the blog, and lost aman in the process. Hours later we met up at Cafe Coffee Day and timed things perfectly. She'd met some boys that day and had set us up a dinner date and some dancing....sounded fine with me. I had passed an astrologer's home and wanted to go check him out (he does chakra healing etc. as well). It was interesting. I was told i'm on the brink of big changes, not only now in the present, but in the whole of this lifetime.....switching from a practical soul to one that's more expressive and open and free. Vague, but i'll take it.
We met the boys later and what unfolded was, yes, ecstacy. Yup, the kind you're thinking. The ecstacy that makes you come into yourself, refind your breath and your dance, and your connection with the earth and the universe. I think we attracted it to us....and for Aman, i think this was the final step in her letting go............
I watched her tap in. I watched her finally lose her inhibition and exist freely without the confines of culture.
Everything about the night was symbolic. Everything had weight and meaning and joy. The two boys we were with Manesh and "The Politician" were fantastic. We label the one "The Politician" because it is his greatest aspiration to be a leader of the people. It's funny, because he's super quiet, but after talking with him i realize it's because he's an observer....and i think that makes him wise...something he'll hopefully carry into his career.
While Aman was coming beautifully into her own, i was having my own sort of flowering. I felt like a channel that night. Like for once in my life i lost Lyndsey who is ego, who is perpetually concerned with the physical, with future, with blah blah blah and really became a glimmer of a teacher. I know i've been learning a lot since i've been here, but i didn't realize how much until the boys started asking me about yoga, and the information started pouring out of me like some crazy fountain.
I demonstrated some postures, made some adjustments, all the while combining my instruction with poetry and inspiration and a focus on divinity. Yoga on the beach, by the way, is pretty much the best thing ever. The waves tell you when and how to breathe. It is the ultimate connection.
In the morning, as the sun finally started to rise, i took a walk alone on the beach. (Here i will pause to add the caveat that again, i'm not even beginning to describe what the book will, this is just a glimpse.)
The walk on the beach was an ultimate affirmation of my life and my presence. The sea foam was bigger and bubblier than any sea foam i've ever seen. It reminded my of the song St. Stephen by the grateful dead....."Sea shore washed by the suds and the foam, been there so long he's got to callin' it home......" Friends of mine who know this song, will perhaps understand the epic proportions in new meaning the song took on for me at that moment.
Walking down the beach, the sun rose slowly and in a grey sort of way. It wasn't the pink and blue and nursery type colors that sunrises typically are. It was way more mystical. The water was a swirling mass of charcoal, and navy and turquoise and grey. Grey normally, is such a mundane and boring color, but this grey was intense. Imagine the texture of dolphin skin, and then imagine that you could turn that into a paint color. And in the paint, you can mix in mashed up angels so that it sort of glows. That was the water....and only one of the many colors of the water. Every color had that sort of resplendent quality......like the color itself was just a veil to a deeper reality. DEEP STUFF I SAW.
The waves were big and loud. At one point, all of the waves seemed to crest at once, turning the whole surface of the ocean a brilliant white....a white that melded perfectly with the white of the sky....turning the whole scene before me into a hazy, misty, cloud. The mist was kissing my face, the waves were massaging my soul......and being surrounded by so much white gave the whole place a dream like, very heavenly quality.
As the white slipped away and ebbed once more into the oil of blue i looked ahead and behind me on the beach. Ahead, it looked like if i kept walking i would walk off the face off the planet....evaporate into myst😊 Behind, i could see my solitary footsteps and it reminded me of the cheezy jesus poem about footsteps.......you know, the one about when in your life you see one set of footsteps and that's when G-d carries you? I felt carried, embraced, affirmed. I could do nothing but raise my hands to the heavens and say thank you. And then write it in the sand with a stick......... random, happy, morning calligraphy.
As i walked back towards my friends, the dogs of Goa came out to play. There were probably 20 of them, and they waltzed around each other and danced in time with the surf. It was special to share such a morning with no other people.....just DOG and GOD.
I collected Aman from the restaurant she was dozing off at, and the two of us walked together on the beach. Her skin and her clothing matched everything perfectly. As we walked, the rain fell briefly on us, and then slid behind us. A small circle of sun and blue sky broke and surrounded us....and only us. It followed us to the end of the beach. We plopped down and talked about our relationship.......about our friends of Bangalore. WIth an anklet from ana and a necklace from Agelos wrapped around me, i felt like they were there too. Aman and i affirmed that we were meant to come here, to this magical place, to meet each other and learn from one another..........so much depth in this world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish i had the energy to give the full story, but you'll all have to wait for the book. Phish lyrics will have to suffice for now😊
I'm floating in the blimp a lot
i feel the feeling i forgot
of swimming weightless in the womb
or bouncing gently round the room
in a minute i'll be free
and you'll be splashing in the sea
i feel no curiosity
i see the path ahead of me
in a minute i'll be free
and you'll be splashing in the sea
we'll hear a tiny cry
as the ship goes sliding by
FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
........i feel free ----lyndsey
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