Diary of a colon cleanse

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March 26th 2011
Published: March 26th 2011
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December 2010

Sidika and I have fled the cold and chaos of Delhi for the warmth and chilled out vibes of the gilded playground of Goa. After a week or so at Magic Park, Arambol, in a hut inhabited by many different species of mosquito, we take ourselves off to Casa Natividad, South Anjuna, where we put ourselves into the care of Jean Pierre Avantario at Here and Now Healing (www.healinghereand now.com). We have prepared for the week long colon cleanse by progressively eliminating items from our daily diet until it comprises only raw vegetables, fruit and litre upon litre of coconut water.

Day 1

On arrival Jean Pierre gives us an iridology consultation, weighs us and takes our blood pressure. My iris indicates that my digestion is toxic and my lungs and ovaries show up as weak areas ; (. My pH is 6. He then gets us started on the healing drinks - half a litre of ozonated water containing psyllium husks and bentonite clay, followed by a second half litre of water mixed with a little apple juice and cider vinegar. An hour later we take our supplements - spirulina, papayin, alfalfa, vitamins C and B3. It is a welcome relief to have nothing to do for the next seven days but detox and stroll to the beach. We will be consuming nothing but healing drinks, supplements and the odd coconut water. This afternoon we will have our first enema. More later.


Help! I had no idea what this entailed. Have just done my first colonic, which took almost an hour sitting outside in a booth while 20 litres of ozonated water is fed up my jacksy via a tube while I try to fend off mosquitoes. Sound appealing? There are precious few distractions and I feel shut in. Sidika and I are staying in the centre on our own. I feel low energy and cut off. I miss food, Arambol, socialising and am wondering how the hell I'm going to get through the coming week. On the plus side, I am dietarily inspired, having just scanned David Wolfe's mammoth tome, 'Longevity Now'.

Day 2

Awake feeling bright and breezy. After my 5 litres of healing drinks I had to get up to pee twice in the night. I have my morning drinks and pills then my morning colema. In case you would like more information on how this works I can put you in the picture. The squeamish can jump to the next paragraph.

The subject removes one end of the tube from the bucket hanging overhead, partly disrobes and sits on a recliner containing a hole. She sucks the water to start the flow, pinches the tube, lubricates the orifice in question for ease of entry and inserts the tube a ways into the rectum. She allows in as much liquid as feels comfortable then squeezes the tube to stop the flow and evacuates into a large bucket placed on the ground under the recliner. At intervals she raises the abdomen to allow for deeper penetration into the colon and occasionally massages said colon to loosen plaque.

Bingo - long colon-shaped ropes of mucoid plaque emerge leaving me feeling light and elated.

I fantasise about food periodically but generally feel good and do yoga, read, chant the occasional mantra etc.

Evening colema is less fructiferous though more plaque has sunk to the depths of the bucket. Jean Pierre comes round for a post mortem after each colema with his stick. Yum!

In the evening we watch TV - our favourite programmes are cooking

Day 3

Awake feeling good. Colonic very productive - lots of plaque coming out, some of which is clearly toxic waste! At noon we go to the local flea market and I don't feel hungry at all, nothing tamasic attracts and I am really feeling quite high. Could this be the result of drugs ingested in my mis-spent youth? Jean Pierre says more than likely. He also warns us not to over exert ourselves at the market. Sidika listens but the market freak does not and returns to Casa Natividad EXHAUSTED.

By the way, JP has declared that the amounts of plaque I am offloading are exceptional.

Low energy evening, slight headache at bedtime - 10 pm. Not the best night - awake at 1 and 5 am to pee.

Day 4

Feel tired on rising, bit achey but perk up after the colema. Decide to have a lazy day and really make the most of this opportunity to have time out from life in pretty gorgeous surroundings. How lucky am I? Chanting the Tara mantra is having quite an effect.
PS Volume of plaque is diminishing.

Day 5

Weak! BP is falling and the boss prescribes electrolytes and an emergency half papaya. I can no longer stomach the psyllium or the twice daily intrusion of the colema. I have hit rock bottom with a crash, bang wallop and am besieged by vague but uncomfortable memories from early infancy.

I devour the papaya - a fruit I had not appreciated until this point in my life and tell JP I want to stop the colonics as of tomorrow. Sidika sees this as an emotional detox and kindly offers me an Emotional Freedom Technique session in the evening in an effort to keep me from abandoning the colonic ship as it were. I remember repeating a number of phrases, such as, 'Even though I feel unable to carry on, I completely love and accept myself,'while she and I tapped on various strategic points of my body. Bless you Sidika - I retire with love and acceptance pulsating round my beleaguered bodymind!

Day 6

The papaya and EFT have worked - I'm back in full effect! I go out to the Internet and German Bakery and have a sneaky hot lemon and ginger. I stay out for 4 hours, which puts my healing drinks and supplement schedule out of whack but what the hell - I'm nearly there... the colemas are having less of an impact now but perhaps I eliminated it all in the first 3 or 4 days folks...

Day 7

Weaker again and a little nauseous. I just hang out all day at base, very spontaneously falling into napping,which is blissful.

Final colonic is done - hooray! I celebrate with two slices of succulent papaya. I am in love with papaya!


Tot: 0.066s; Tpl: 0.016s; cc: 11; qc: 48; dbt: 0.0185s; 1; m:saturn w:www (; sld: 1; ; mem: 1.4mb