Hope for change

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I have had a very difficult last couple of weeks. It started with Adam leaving. It was really hard for me to have him here and then gone..and it seems like SO long until we see each other again. I know it will go fast but it was kind of like I had to start over again. I am/was also dealing with the fact that my best friend here was leaving on march 1. The weather has also been quite dreary. At times...the same temperature as valpo!

Something changed this past weekend though. First of all...Jackie, my best friend here, is staying until June! That is probably the main thing that changed. But also...I have started to find my alone time and independence refreshing again. I went to the st Matthew passion a couple nights ago alone. I was afraid I would be really sad, since I would be remembering all the people I shared this experience with, but I found myself more nostalgic in a happy kind of way. I am glad that I am here experiencing this. I wish some of you were here to share it, but I appreciate the opportunities I have been given. And I know I will look back on this year with so much gratitude for this chance. This has been one of the best and hardest years of my life. I am not always happy here, but I have learned so much. Mostly about myself.

I have been very reflective lately. I had an interesting conversation with Jackie and another friend on valentines day. We were talking about whether or not people are able to really change. Jackie mentioned that she thought once you reached a certain age...say 21 or so, not much more can change after that. Small adjustments can be made, but it is very difficult for total life altering or personality altering changes. Unless you really seek them out. I admitted that a huge incentive for me to move here was because I wanted to change or better some things about myself. I want to be more confident and I want to be more decisive and I want to be independent. Well it seems Jackie is somewhat right. I feel as though the progress I have made has been very small. Tiny baby steps. I don't really feel different. I am hoping I might see some of the changes I have made when I come home, or maybe it is easier for other people to see it. I guess I will just have to keep taking the opportunities that will challenge me professionally and as a person and hope that I can keep growing. That must be what life is all about. 😊

I started writing this blog post on Monday...and it is now Thursday. I am feeling better and better as the week goes on. I have been busy at school- we have a program coming up next Friday!- and I am feeling really good. I go to Cebu this weekend with Jackie. It was supposed to be our farewell trip, but now its a weekend getaway and she gets to come back and stay in Hong Kong.

I hope you all are doing well. I will be posting some pictures from the weekend I'm sure! Looking forward to seeing you all soon.

Love from the far east 😊

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