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Published: August 11th 2010
I am sitting on my couch watching Desperate Housewives on my Chinese basic cable. That just made my night!!
This week has been CRAZY. It is the first week back with all of the teachers and we have been busy busy busy. This is also the week that it has kind of hit me that I will not be coming home for a long time.
I thought that last week was the week where I would feel sad or overwhelmed, but last week was just plain fun. I was meeting new people, all of us were new together. We had lunches and dinners and just hanging out time. This week has mostly been Marcia and I preparing our classrooms/curriculum. I just feel so overwhelmed, it is hard to even know where to start. It's like I am not even sure what questions I need to be asking.
It is an odd situation being here as an intern. It's like I have my own classroom, but I am also following a curriculum set by someone else. I know that I will have input and definitely have help, but it is a strange feeling to not really be in charge of the material. It is just really hard being new! I feel like I don't know anything. I know it will get easier soon, but this week has been very challenging. I find myself sad or lonely and really missing all of you guys! I wish I could just call you up and go to dinner, or just hang out. I have met some very nice people here-- in fact I just went out for dinner with a new friend. I got home from school at about 5:30pm- sounds late right! and I thought I would just be glad to be home, but instead this HUGE wave of loneliness hit me. I didn't want to sit on my couch and watch a movie alone. I wanted to see Adam or go to dinner with Stephanie. But I couldn't do any of those things. So I decided (after a few tears...) 😊 to text a friend from school. She met me and we just had a lovely couple of hours, eating and talking. I am glad I decided not to wallow in my sadness!
It is also hard to come here after someone who was so loved. Everyone LOVED Ashley and she did a great job. I just feel like I have such big shoes to fill. And I know a lot of it is my own insecurities that make me feel this way, but I just don't want people to be disappointed that I am here. I want to be a great teacher.
I guess I am really just anxious to start school! Once I get in the swing, I think I'll be okay. Speaking of school....I have research to do. 😊 Thanks again for all your love! <3
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