China: The Cultural Significance of Custard Pies

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China: The Cultural Significance of Custard Pies

Sometimes it is easy to read too much into simple observations; to extrapolate generalisations from what is actually utterly insignificant. However I don’t think there’s any danger of me doing that as I analyse the custard pie buying habits of local Beijingers.

The range and English names of custard pies here amuse me. So here are my conclusions on what your Chinese custard pie purchasing habits say about you.

Custard Pie
For starters you have the simple “Custard pie”. These are the cheapest ones and are for the man who likes to know what he’s getting. No surprises. This man probably wears a knitted jumper to work and works for the local council as a sanitation expert. He enjoys the simple things in life. He listens to Simply Red and sees no reason to try anything new. There’s a slightly strange smell in the apartment where he lives. Alone. Except for custard pies...

Bimbo Pie
One for the kids. Saying the word “Bimbo” carries simple satisfaction that crosses any cultural and linguistic differences. The package displays a cute panda in a chefs hat as its logo. Combined with a bright red design it makes it the ideal pie for seven year old children, and the visually impaired.

Fun Pie
Pies for the party animal. Those that end up in “Mix” until 5am every Friday. They live life in the fast lane, are constantly high on the joys of life and they don’t care for the consequences. They’re just waiting for the next hit. And this pie may just be it.

Brilliant! Custard Pie
Next you have the “Brilliant! Custard pie.” I like the self-confidence of the name. They taste of cardboard but that’s by the by. I like to think the man who buys these pies enjoys a bit more adventure in life. Probably 18-30, trying to get the most from the lot he’s been dealt on earth. A man of the world who is looking to make his RMB go as far as possible. Also, of course, dashingly handsome with a charming and engaging personality. These are the one I buy. *Cough*

It's NOW Pie
The “It's NOW” pies are for those of a nervous disposition; those that are open to emotional persuasion. People who watch apocalyptic film and think “that could happen”. Panic. They’re coming for you, so you’d better have your pie. NOW.

Egg Cake - International Quality. High Quality
If you buy the “Egg Cake - International Quality. High Quality” you’re almost certainly a menopausal women. Why have cheese cake, when you can have dried apricots and a wheat based pie. You buy potpurri and have an unexplained crush on the Chinese equivalent of Jeremy Paxman. Life without your melon-baller is inconceivable.

Dream Pie
Finally, at almost 13RMB (£1.30) for a packet of 6 you have the “Dreamy pie”. These are for the neuveau-riche, those who want it all and can have it all. Or as an economist would put it - the price insensitive buyer. They have more money than sense and can be found (when not reclining on a chezlong with a custard pie) in pricey French restaurants wearing chiffon scarves and sunglasses indoors.

When ever I meet new people in Beijing, I have taken to asking which custard pie they buy as my opening gambit. The answer can be very revealing. Though for some reason, I never find conversations last very long these days...

Lastly I’d just like to say I felt like a right tit taking photos in the custard pie aisle of my local supermarket. This explains the patchy quality of the photos, sorry.

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