Kunming: Intro to China - nasty toilets, hoarking peeps, quiet streets and what they have Wal-Mart?!


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Asia » China » Yunnan » Kunming
May 28th 2007
Published: May 28th 2007
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May 25 - 26

The Chinese border was not at all what I thought it was going to be. Here I thought it would be super tight security with lots of questions and hassle but it wasn't all at. Us, the only foreigners got a separate line and hardly any questions. I just got asked if I was travelling with the other two or alone and that was pretty much it. Put my bags on the security x-ray thingy, didn't even walk through a metal detector and that was it. We walked out onto the streets of the Hekou and it was so quiet. No honking horns or people everywhere pushing or shoving. It was just quiet. We were the only whities around and we didn't get many stares unlike everywhere else I've been. First impression of China so far was good! I was trying to find a bank to exchange my money and the customs guy gave me directions but we didn't come across any banks. So I busted out with my chinese and got "mei you" as a response. Okay not have. Sure. Finally we found it and they didn't exchange to USD either so I was stuck with the dong! Took out some RMB and we headed for the bus station. Met a german guy who spoke some chinese and had a very tasty dinner of noodle soup with tofu and veggies for only 4RMB!! Again, my impression of China was growing fonder cause the soup was very good. I was a little worried about my stomach because we had no time before the bus left but surprisingly it was okay. We rushed for the bus but ended up waiting for like 30mins to put our damn bags on the bottom. Finally, once we were allowed on, first thing I looked for was the toilet which was promised....there wasn't one and there wasn't any air-con. I also, including Astrid and Jacob, wasn't impressed with the sleeper beds. We all got top bunks where there wasn't any room to sit up (see pic). These sleeper buses are NOT made for western folks. I'm a little shorter than the other two but even I was scrunched up and couldn't exactly stretch out completely. This was not going to be a fun bus ride. And to make matters worse, smoking was allowed on the bus, which blows my mind!! The bus ride was a brutal 11 hour trip. Hoarking, smoking, bad movie, bumpy almost falling off the bed was not fun. The only good thing was that we stopped several times for pee breaks. The toilets are worse in China then anywhere I've travelled so far. They are communal (separate boys and girls) squat toilets and just so nasty with shit and piss everywhere and flies galore. I don't give a shit about pissing with other women, I lost that embarrassment a while ago but it's the flies that kill me. At one point I woke up on the bus to what I thought was descending into a firery hell or something out of the the Lord of the Rings. Astrid woke up too and thought the same thing. It was super dark except that this factory of some sort of blasting fire out it's stacks and there were many of them. Smoke and fire bellowing up into the night, and making it a very eerie feeling. Tried to sleep more and was super jealous of Jacob with his working ipod.

Arrived in Kunming when it was still dark around 5am. We were a little confused because nobody was getting off the bus except a few people. They all seemed to continue to be comfy in their beds. We decided to get off and figure something out. It was cold and rainy. With our bags, taxi drivers came up to us with chinese signs and talking to us but we had no clue what they were saying or what the hell their sign said. We didn't know whether to take a taxi to the City Cafe and Guesthouse or just walk it. It was 5 in the morning and we didn't know if the street signs were in english or not so we decided to go with the taxi. Thirty minutes later of trying to communicate with my Mandarin book out, where we wanted to go, we were on our way. It was costing us 10RMB each to get there, whether we were ripped off or not we don't know but probably. I was angry at myself for not remembering much of the chinese I learned before leaving Canada and in Singapore. I was wishing very much that Yu Yang was with me cause it would have been a hell of a lot easier. There are several moments
Big ass bowl of noodle soupBig ass bowl of noodle soupBig ass bowl of noodle soup

Yunnan's best-known dish, called across-the-bridge noodles
when I wished this. The cabbie still had a hard time finding the place but eventually we made and then realized why people remain on the cozy, warm bus because nothing is freggin' open this early plus it was freggin' raining. We waited til I think 6:30/7am when the owner opened up the ticket window. By this time we were wet and cold and looked forward to a hot shower. Well that wasn't going to happen for the time we were staying there cause the bathroom was NASTY!! As soon as he opened the door to our apt like room, it reaked of piss. This place had 3 bedrooms, one already taken, and one I took had 3 beds, and the other with 2 beds. It cost us 30RMB ($4.28CAD)/night, 20RMB if we all shared a room. Breakfast place next door wasn't open til 8am so we decided just to chill. I thought I would go over my china book but instead I slept til 11:30! It was a good sleep, the best I've had in a long ass time. I was still tired when I got up but figured I should eat something. Astrid and Jacob were already up for more than an hour and planning their China/Tibet travels. I had an awesome breakfast of french toast (which i normally don't like), eggs, fruit with yogurt, and mango juice and all for 16RMB($2.28CAD). Chatted with a Swiss guy about his travels and go some ideas of where to go and where to avoid. The enclosed space of the restaurant room I was in and the heavy smoking going on was killing me. I was thankful when the other two came by and said they were going to WAL-MART!! Hahaha. They were pretty amused about this Wal-mart being in China. I needed some shit there any so I went too. This one was huge with 4 levels but it wasn't a 24 hour one so it wasn't as good as the ones back home. Ha. For some odd reason it felt mildly comforting being in a familliar shopping centre and doing mundane familiar things, like shopping. I was getting excited too about all the familiar chinese things around me, like the songs I would recognize playing in stores or seeing movie posters with my fav actors.

Had lunch at this place that served what Yunnan is known for, the across-the-bridge noodles. It was this huge bowl of soup where you add vegetables, chicken (cooked and thinly sliced raw), other meat if you ordered it (I didn't cause I'm a vegetrian😉), raw egg, and noodles, and it's all cooked in the steaming broth. It was alright. Not as tasty as the first soup in Hekou but it was filling....for the time being. When it came to get the bill, I totally forgot what the word was in chinese. Again, I was pissed at myself because Yu Yang made me say this at the wicked Sichuan restaurant we ate. I had to look it up in my mandarin book. I had to say something that I learned and since I had to pee I asked the waitress "Qing wun, cesuo jian zai nar le?".....hopefully I didn't say "kiss me" but "excuse me, where's the bathroom?". Well I think I said it right cause she showed me where the toilet was. YAY! We past several bakery shops while walking around Kunming today and we said that we would have cake for dessert and that's what we did! Except it wasn't very good. The icing was super hard and waxy tasting. The only good part was the cakey part and the canned peaches on top. Boh! I stopped in at a cell phone shop, and there are so many of them to inquire about getting a sim card - top-up kind which Yu Yang said was the best. I had difficulty again communicating and had to open my phone up and show them the what I was talking about. They came out with the cards but I didn't know if it was the one Yu Yang told me to get and I couldn't tell them what it was specifically I was looking for cause I couldn't remember the name of the brand. Another disappointing attempt at communication.

After a frustrating, useless time on the internet, trying to figure out flights from various cities to either HK or Singapore (since I have to leave the country in 3 weeks), we went to this pub for some tea/coffee. I was hungry so Astrid and I shared garlic bread while Jacob got his last choice of a tuna sandwich cause for some reason he totally pissed off the waitress who said no to all his other orders. We ended up talking with the chef, Charlie (english name) from northern Yunnan for like an hour. He gave us chinese lessons and we helped him with english. He was a cool, happy guy. Back at the pisser guesthouse, I didn't even go to bed but went through the China book some more, trying to figure out what I going to do. Finally crashed around 1:30am. Oh ya I didn't have a lock on my door so I put the small night table in front as a barricade. Hehehe stupid guesthouse.

Next morning, we had a good breakfast of museli with fruit and yogurt. Got some more advice from this hippy chick who was from Seattle but was studying in Yunnan about Dali and Lijiang. We packed up our bags and walked to the bus station to buy our tickets to Dali figuring it would be cheaper than getting them at the guesthouse since most the time they add commission. We had to move it cause the bus was leaving at 10:30 and the next one wasn't til 1:30. It was about a 6 km walk and not once was there any touts pestering us. It was pretty sweet. Astrid and I walk the same....speedy but Jacob takes his time and films things along the way. It was funny though and I wish I got a picture but when I looked back at one point all I could think of was the Seasme Street song, "which of these things does not belong here", cause there he was with his straw cowboy hat, big ass packs, with his video camera, amongst all these chinese. It was whiky! Well we got to the bus station and looked around wondering where to buy the tickets when a guy that worked there told us to go to a particular window with a woman that spoke english. So ya, the tickets were more expensive then the guesthouse! Instead of 116RMB ($16.57CAD) it was 119RMB ($17), not much of a difference but it still pissed us off. The bathroom at the bus station was narsty! It doesn't top our guesthouse pisser toilet but it's close cause it had the flies plus the stink. I didn't pay and the guy didn't seem to care. This 5 hour bus ride was sweet, it had a toilet and good movies played, Curse of the Golden Flower and Rush Hour 2. I slept part way but again didn't want to miss the scenery. I kept having to remind myself that I was in China. The landscape was very similar to the west coast (Canada), very green, going through mountain tunnels, just very nice.

Can't really think right now.....tired and need sleep but must finish the Dali blog. Okay. Lates.

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28th May 2007

hey i am coming... : )
hope u can enjoy ur trip in my motherland...i know it's a bit hard for u to travel in china by ueself but it is a part of travelling,isn't it...so just enjoy it...anything just send an email to me...u know i'll do my best for u... : )
3rd June 2007

F*@king hay!
F*@king hay! Just found your blog ... looks great but havent had a chance to tread anything at lengt yet. However i promise that i will make time over the next couple of days. HOpe all is well and that you are safe after your flight and ill drop you an email with everyones details and a couple of good pics from the trek. All the best, mark
18th June 2007

haha i'll be studying abroad in kunming this fall and randomly found your blog while searching for kunming sim cards (hahaha). your blog is hilarious... totally reminds me of what i'm going to be like!

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