Tooth hurty - dentist time!

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What time does a China man go to the dentist? ....... Tooth hurty!!

No this isn't the beginning of a whole series of really bad jokes ... well not intentionally anyway, it is a blog about my recent trip to the dentist. Considering it was the first time any of us had been to the dentist in China, and knowing I was going to need some serious work doing, plus the fact that I was suddenly going to have to pay for treatment, meant that I researched which dentist to go to thoroughly.

Now I only knew of two real ways to select a dentist, searching on the Shanghai Expat website under one of the dentist threads (a site where expats living in Shanghai - self explanatory I suppose - share their experiences), and ask people we knew where they had been and would they recommend it. Unfortunately one of these avenues was closed off as nobody could actually recommend anywhere so I had to rely solely on a website to choose my dental torturer. Now when you are choosing something quite so critical as this you tend to read the thread carefully to check the advice and what the people had done, and whether it appeared it could be someone working for the dentist posting the thread for free advertising!??

Well everytime I was happy that a dentist was good and deserving of a call from me the next post I read would say definitely don't go to that butcher! Anyway out of necessity I narrowed it down to 2, one just round the corner and one about 20 minutes away - but which had slightly more recommendations. However when I rang them they explained that you got to them by walking through the lobby of the Sheraton ...... 'Oh right' said I 'OK thanks ..... bye'. Now I may have been a bit hasty but remember I am going to have to pay for this and any dentist attached to a posh hotel suggests to me that it is going to cost an arm and a leg (as opposed to a molar and an incisor .... ho ho ho). And I ask you, what is the worst that could happen? I mean this is China for goodness sake, no need to fear malpractice or dodgy equipment, or poor sanitary conditions .... only kidding Anne .... so I rang the other option. I had already checked out this dentists website, Hygeia, and seen the dentist in question, Jevon York (a traditional chinese name), and he didn't look like a rampant sadist!!

Now there isn't really much more to tell about the story. I rang them they said 'Come at 2.30' (I kid you not), I went and much as the sick and twisted side of my personality would love to be able to retell a tale of squallor and spit buckets, bodies lying in hallways, cockroaches running around and paint peeling off the walls whilst the dentist cackled and used an old hand drill, unfortunately I was in China not the UK! The dentist's was clean, new, deserted apart from staff (very common in Shanghai) and Jevon spoke perfect English. Which is lucky of course because my English ain't too rubbish neither so we woz abel too communicashun! Turns out I needed a filling, a crown and a bridge - the result of years of doing the bare minimum of what was required and cost saving by our glorious armed forces dentistry system. Hey but aren't we lucky to have them? Reminds me of one of the reasons this problem was so bad, because some Wing Commander had refused to treat me after I had the temerity to cancel one appointment and then not turn up to the one they re-scheduled for me, in both cases because I was in Afghanistan! Anyway, back to the story.

He announced he would do it without painkilling so that he could check that the root was still alive, but I could lift my hand if it hurt! Weird experimentation here I come!! But it didn't hurt that bad and we agreed if I didn't cry he would give me a lollipop (no Julio - no). After doing the filling, which he sculped to make it look and feel just like a normal tooth, he showed me it in the mirror to see if I was happy with it. After about 10 seconds of puzzledly searching for the filling it occurred to me he had given me a white filling! No more robot teeth for me unfortunately (I have been showing it to everybody since like a proud father and nobody can tell its not real). I go back for the bridge and crown to finish it all off on Monday and I can't wait! What with this being China I am thinking of asking if I can get my crown with a Ralph Lauren label on it!

So there you go. If any of you are in Shanghai visiting us and have to go to the dentist Hygeia is the place! Oh and the cost? Well the filling cost 500 (£40) and the total for the whole lot will be 2700 (£200). Not exactly what I would choose to spend my money on but under the circumstances .... very reasonable I think!

Ciao for now peeps.

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