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Published: August 25th 2009
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Kareoke Bar. I told the Chinese teachers I don't sing, and now they are all on my ass about going. Due to my diligent practice of staying up til 5 AM back in the States, I am quickly defeating my jetlag. Last night I slept from 10 to 7 -- pretty normal. Because China has only one time zone (which is exactly 12 hours ahead of EST for those who are keeping track), the sun rises here very early; and anyone who knows me knows that the sun is my mortal enemy when it comes to sleeping in. My neighborhood is reasonably quiet, though. I spent two hours trying to cook with my hot plate, resulting first in a grease fire (no casualties, inanimate or animate), and then two eggs with Korean sausage. 220 degrees Celsius is apparently enough to ignite olive oil on impact. I boiled some water to sterilize it for ice cubes, and then used the rest for a nice Chinese cup of green tea.
One of the Chinese teachers at my school, Jia Xiao Dan (or Dawn) met me at 9 AM to go register my presence with the local police station. After filling out a bureaucrat's wet dream full of forms, I made myself officially known to the powers that be. The police officer responsible
Photo 11
For size comparison. for red-stamping the existences of all foreign residents in Kaifaqu was chain smoking the entire time. In some ways China is more libertarian than the United States.
My wonderfully kind Chinese companion then took me on a brief tour of downtown Kaifaqu (the suburb of Dalian where I am living and teaching), helping me to buy a cell phone and exchange my foreign currency. At the bank, as with pretty much all service-oriented businesses, each teller has a computerized customer satisfaction recorder in front of their window. At the end of every transaction, I the customer am supposed to rank their service. My teller had two stars when I got there. I am too embarrassed to publicly exclaim or shame these people, but when I told my Chinese friend we had no such thing back in the States I had a mental realization that this may be the reason why bank tellers and DMV workers and the like are always such raging assholes. Again, another thing we could learn from our foreign friends.
After some more walking and sweating, and a brief lunch with another American teacher and Sarah, I ended up back at the school for some
Photo 2
Kaifaqu's waterfront. initiation. Beginning September 5th, I will be teaching six one-hour classes a week, with kids ranging from 4 to 15. I got a heap of lesson books and teaching materials to pur over in the short time until then. Tomorrow I am sitting in on some classes to see how it all works. There are only 4 other American teachers at my school. I am going to be working hard, I think. But that's better than half-assing it for a year. I need a goal to focus on, I've learned, or else I just slide into laziness and self-destruction. Hopefully these little Chinese kids can be that for me.
After that little wake-up call, I went on a tour of the city with two other Chinese teachers (all the Chinese teachers are women). I love hanging out with the Chinese teachers, because 1) they are incredibly nice and accommodating, and 2) they let me practice my Chinese, which is really the main reason I came here (don't tell my bosses that). It's amazing and disturbing to me how much I've forgotten. Today was a crash course of two years of Chinese lessons. I would ask them the meaning of
words and then realize I'd learned them years ago, and used to use them in conversation all the time. But at least it's coming back. Maybe after a little while I can actually start improving on where I used to be.
We then went to the most bizarre restaurant in the fourth floor of a giant shopping complex. There was a Chinese buffet, with Brazilian-style barbecue guys coming around with slabs of meat and cutting of slices on our plates, and then all the women were dressed like German beer maids. These tiny Chinese girls we were with put back more food than I have ever seen anyone eat. I was out after the second round but they just kept going. They kept saying they had to eat their money's worth, which was 45 kuai, or about eight dollars. I really admired them, being a former buffet champion. I guess I've lost more than my language skills over the past few years.
Everywhere I went today, I couldn't help being astounded at the fact that I am actually back in China. I am just walking around beaming like a retarded kid at a candy factory. I am so
happy to be back among the crazy drivers rolling onto the sidewalk, the unreadable signs, the masses and masses of people, the humidity, the noise, the children gawking at a 6'2" white man in their midst, yelling at waiters, being constantly accosted by street vendors, all of it. I missed it so much. This realization keeps popping into my head, and for now it is keeping me from missing home. I don't know how long it will last.
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Round Three
Lound Tlee Ted! "For round three, you really have to get your moneys worth. This is where the shrimp came in handy..."