Ice

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There are many things you can talk about when you speak of the best parts of living in china. The food, the smells, the buildings, and the people all come to mind. But one of the things that hits you in the face is B-grade attractions. Places where health and safety laws are told to fuck off and fun is put at the front of the line. I love this part of china not just because it makes me laugh consistantly, but that everyday people in china just dont seem to notice or care. This is entertainment in its most disfigured and enjoyable form.

Before you come to northern china you try to educate yourself on everything that is around you (i think most people do this where ever they go). You become a mini-encyclopedia on a place you've never been and usually find out, when you arrive, that nothing is close to what you thought it would be. I did this with changchun and the most obvious attraction to northen china is the Harbin ice festival. It is one of the biggest in the world, ranking somewhere in the top three. Regretfully, my only option to get there was to take a hard seat train ride up to Harbin. I hate the hard seat. I've said before how much i hate it and it has nothing to do with the amount of people or smells. I love the chaos of a train ride packed with people. The seats themselves make no sence and are what piss me off. The slow rocking of the train makes you drowsey but the seats allow you no way to get comfortable They give you the impression that somewhere, on some other part of the train, there are people drinking martini's laughing at your missery in soft comfortable seats.

Harbin itself is a beautiful city full of Russian influence. During the ice festival it is clean and welcoming and getting around is easily accomplished by getting a taxi, bus or something that slightly resembles a tuk tuk in thailand. Getting a taxi or a bus is your best option. The taxi's are a bit more pricey then in other parts of china but the warmth and efficiency makes it an easy option in minus 20+ weather. As i walked off the train however I thought, "Screw the taxi and bus, im taking a tuk tuk!" These motorized boxes have got to be one of the best ways to travel in any city in china. They are bloody freaky and make you trust completely in a person you've only met seconds before. As we pulled out i settled myself in the back of the box with good view over the shoulder of my driver. He then decided that things where moving too slow and pulled into oncoming traffic. In his mind it must have been halarious hearing the full grown man in his back seat screaming like an idiot in a language he didn't understand. The things only go about 25km so you see shits load of cars barreling down on you and even if your driver wanted to he couldn't get out of the way so he mainly just honks continuously. At first i thought he was just doing this to find a quicker route but as we pulled on the main highway on the wrong side of the road i simply started to laugh and enjoyed the rest of the experience.

I can't remember the name of the street i was on but eventually I found what is one of the biggest shopping streets in china according to people i most likely can't trust. It was cool but then again im not one for shopping. The best part of this is when you see your first ice sculptures, lineing the pedestrian road down to the river. There are ice love seats and ice dragons. Ice asain thingys and ice bars. All in all the theme stays consistant with ice. As i made my way down the river a big ice building comes into view. I had heard that there were slides that you could zip down to the river on and got really stoked. The river is slightly blocked off by a wall of ice about two stories high and people are trying desperatly to get you to ride down the other side. With out checking out what the slide was like i paid a man 20 quay (about 4 bucks) to trudge up the stairs to the slide. When you get to the top you are slaped with a gust of cold and a bleak view of a frozen river. Then you look down at the steep slide that is completely made of ice that reminds you of one of the drop slides at waterparks where you feel like you get airborn for a little bit. The man holding a piece of metal looks at you with a blank face and you look right back into those cold dead eyes. He then motions for you to sit on the piece of metal. You look at the piece of metal, the freaky ice slide drop to the river below and back to his emotionless face. You sit on the piece of metal and he quickly pushed you over the edge. I think in those moments my face probably resembled constipation or what someone looks like before a car accident they can't avoid. By the end of the drop you feel relief and then realize there is no way to stop the piece of metal you are on and that at the end, which is quickly getting bigger, there is nothing to stop you. You are simply going to be shot out an ice tube into the middle of a river. I am also slightly fat, so the speed i gained in the decent was considerable. Then you see some random chinese dude at the end with arms out that looks like he is going to try to stop you with his body and you realize you are going to kill this guy. Then suddenly you stop quite pleasently right before the guy and he stretches out a hand to help you up. You notice you are in a soft snowy area that there was no way of seeing before you got to it that slows you down. As you get up you are bombarded by asian folk trying to get you to ride on a ice sleds pulled by ordinary looking dogs aswell as other similar attractions but you realize you need to start getting to the actual ice festival.

Ice world will cost you about 300 quay and it is totaly worth it. As you walk in your met, yet again, by a giant ice wall. The space it covers is pritty large and consists of everything russian styled ice mansions to small, highly detailed carvings. Through out all the ice is placed florescent lights which give it an oddly flavoured shaved ice feel. You can go down slides that climb up the side of 4 story ice buildings and look at forty foot snow carvings of the budda shivats that tower over the entire ordeal. To be honest, at first i was alittle let down. In my mind i had imagined it to be like a snow town with snow bars and snow coffee houses, perhaps a few snow toilets thrown in here or there. It is impressive but it is just simply ice and snow building that facilitate nothing but being cold as hell and losing all feeling in your testicles. My mood was however changed quite quickly when i heard there was a snow princess and animal show, which to me sounded like it had to be good. It was and not for the reasons we all love snow princess and animals, no no. It basically had 4 girls spinning on a stage badly lipsyncing some creepy chinese song while people wearing oversized animal mascot costumes wandered around aimlessy on the stage infront of them. And when i say aimlessy, i mean literaly, arms at there side, no dancing, just walking like they were lost and could not find thier way off stage. The oversized tiger and snow bean basically just stood beside each other, pressed thier heads together and were obviously having a conversation that had nothing to do with the magic of snow. Amazing. I wish i could convey it better. At one point there was a ice skating dance routine that a few people fell down in and dancing trees that blocked your view most of the time.

There is alot more to ice world then i have put here but it was all slightly off and had a feel of being a bit halfassed. I loved it by the end and would definatly come back to this side of the world to check it out again.

Im just hitting 6 months here and though work is alot harder then i ever imagined, im starting to hit my stride. 6 more months is doable but i can't wait to get somewhere warmer.

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Comments

[Linda MacKinnon]

Ice
Hi Josh It was good to see you writing another blog. This one was quite funny. At least I enjoyed it, especially when you ended your ice slide. Sorry I haven't been around when you have skyped your parents. Glad to hear you are surviving, at least. God, it is nearly 6 months. I hope you get to read this comment and know how much I enjoy reading them. Love, Linda

[Tobey]

great!
Joshy, your writting just keeps on getting better! Loved this one:)