Advertisement
Published: July 13th 2012
I think it might be best to start this post with a tiny disclaimer. . . I did not originally plan to post all of our funniest and most awkward moments of this trip for everyone to see. The stories below were originally just emails to my family as I sent home the details of our greatest adventures and our silliest mistakes! But as I shared our mishaps and misinterpretations they insisted they should be a part of our journey that I post as well. Of course in my attempts to write them out to share so much is lost! Please bear with me, and attempt to add in little things like Megan’s father’s funny little accent in story #4, and the chaos of the moment we realized we were on the wrong side of the road in #2. I hoped to post these stories because they are times that we will always look back and laugh at! I think I have laughed more on this month-long trip than all last year combined! 😊
So, here we go:
#1 Well, I'm still working on the chopstick thing. Beryl tries not to laugh, but I am quite convinced the chefs here coat their vegetables in some only-slippery-for-Jessica sauce!!! We often have “Lake Stephanie”s or “Megan Trail”s at the table as we struggle to get the food from the center of the table to our plates.
Anyway, at one of our first dinners in Beijing we went to a restaurant and shared plates of soft dumplings. I was really
excited to try authentic Chinese dumplings, but as I grabbed one with my chopsticks it slipped right through them, flying off my plate, and miraculously landing in my left hand! I was really proud of my coordination (or lack thereof), but I was still hoping no one would notice so I tried to quickly stuff it in my mouth and soon discovered it was very, very hot! Talk about
embarrassing, as gulped it down as fast as I could, but burned my tongue so badly that I could not taste the rest of the evening! Across the table everyone was laughing so hard. :/
#2 Each day in Zhenjiang one of the parents picks us up and takes us to an activity around town while our sisters are at school. A few days ago the mother who took care of all of us was rather new to driving. We were on our way back home and about to turn onto the central street in town, the only one I recognized so far, so I started to share this fact with Megan:
"Oh! Beryl told me this is the largest street in Zhenjiang. It is four lanes wide on each side and has a divider with plants in the middle." Well. . . as I said this we made our turn onto the road and Megan looked out her window and said "No, I don't think this is it. There are plants out my window- it is the edge of the road, not a divider. See?" I looked out my window, really surprised, and replied "No, I'm positive. See, that's the government building there." So I began to look down at the road for a double line, then realized: "Oh my goodness. . . Wait a second.” And then all of the cars started coming
towards us!!! We were on the wrong side of the divider on the largest street in town! Of course, the mother who was driving us did not speak English, but I think our hysterical gasping and gesturing got the message across and she cried “Oh! Oh! Oh!” in surprise, and began to flash our lights and pulled into the far lane. Still, on the divided street there was no way to get to the other side, and we held our breath, driving against traffic until we reached the next street and made an awkward left-hand turn from the left side. . .
#3 This was just last night, and I almost could not sleep thinking back on it and laughing again. We were just leaving the restaurant after dinner and I offered Megan a piece of gum. "I feel like no matter what I do my teeth are always covered in plaque," I told her. She nodded, and replied (this truly is her exact wording): "Yes, me too, but ever since I dropped my toothpaste in the toilet it hasn't been as minty." I looked at her, positively horrified, and said: "Megan, that's
disgusting. You really need to get some new toothpaste." She looked back very surprised, and then realizing what she had implied, cried: "Oh my gosh, no! I mean, I did! My family gave me new toothpaste, it's just not as minty!!! Not, like, diluted by toilet water!!!!!"
#4 A few days ago Megan’s father picked us up in the morning to go fishing for the day. As we drove, Megan, sitting in the front seat, pulled out a Tide-to-Go and began tending to a large spot on her shirt. “I had noodles for breakfast,” she explained to the three of us in the backseat. We all nodded, smiling. Eating noodles in China is not easy, and broth-splattered clothes are nearly inevitable. Truly, there are very strict social expectations, for example slurping (which shows you are enjoying your meal) and not biting your noodles (which represent longevity), adding to the complicated task of gripping such slippery, thin food with two sticks! Anyway, as we came to a red light Megan’s father looked over, puzzled, and asked (insert his funny little accent here!) “Megan, why are you painting on your shirt???” We burst out laughing. How was she going to explain this? “Oh! Um, I am actually trying to take out the stain.” She replied. He raised his eyebrows and replied “Oh. . .” But Megan’s stain never came out, and she has now determined this to be her official “Noodles Shirt”, carrying it with her everywhere just in case we stop for noodles.
#5 One of the first days I arrived in Zhenjiang my family gave me a key to their apartment. My sister and I practiced locking and unlocking the doors to our apartment again and again so that I could let myself in if I ever got home from our daily activities while she was still in school. For the inside lock she told me “You should use this in case there are bad people.” And I told her I would.
Just a few days ago I got home early for the first time and I let myself in the house, locking the door behind me, just as she said (or as I thought she had said. . .). We had just been swimming earlier that day, so I decided to hop into the shower, and I was right in the middle of scrubbing my hair when I heard a strange noise. At first I was really scared as I was home all by myself, but as I turned down the water to listen, I realized it was my mother and my sister’s voices calling me. They were locked out! I will now pause for a second to explain that Chinese towels are not like the towels we are familiar with in America. By American standards the bathing towels in China might very well be known as “hand towels” or “washcloths”. Now we’ll return to my present calamity. There was absolutely no possibility of wrapping up and answering the door. So. . . I hopped out of the shower, sopping wet with my hair a mass of bubbles, threw on my pajamas, and ran to the door. My family was very grateful to be let in! But as I turned to hurry back into my shower my mother stopped me. “She thinks your hair looks unusual” my sister told me. I nodded, certain that I looked very odd standing in the doorway soaking wet with shampoo hardening in my hair. “I just have to finish up my shower,” I told her. But they did not seem to understand! Pulling fruit from the fridge my mother insisted I “Have a snack” now. I thought bubbly hair and wet pajamas were universal in-the-middle-of-a-shower symbols, but apparently not! Finally, attempting not to be rude, I excused myself from the table to use the restroom and hurried back to my shower. Of course when I got out for the second time my pajamas were soaking wet. . .
Advertisement
Tot: 0.208s; Tpl: 0.01s; cc: 10; qc: 48; dbt: 0.1293s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb
David Showers
non-member comment
I don't laugh out loud.......but I did!
I have watched the travel channel on cable and you do a better job of capturing China than they ever have. I love your writing style. See you when you return. Carry on.