29 April Winter Yesterday, i gave him a gift. he sat by me, turned the old clay bowl around in his hands and explained the blue characters written around winter telling a list but also expressing a feeling - early sunrise, go, look, willow, evening, down, cloudy, ask, smoke, rest, nothing, money, go, red sunrise. and the air was calm and i felt close to him but only looked and didn't touch. i didn't want to touch, just wired in and pleased to know that I could still feel this way again was enough. now, he isn’t here. I sit outside enjoying the breeze and the sunshine thinking about the house that I have just found down the lane - a beautiful space, untouched for years, falling into itself. I cannot understand what it was, what
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