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Published: September 16th 2011
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Getting married in China is quite different than getting married in the US. To make it official in China, all one needs is proper paperwork, valid ID, and about ten minutes. After you find the correct office and talk to the right people, the ubiquitous red stamp goes thunk and then you're done. To me, it sounds less like the romantic dreams of movies and more like something to do before going to the supermarket.
Jane and Leo had planned to hold a reception and exchange vows in front of a small group of friends and family. They weren't sure how long the paperwork process would take, and figured they'd make it legal sometime in September. In China, this seems like a reasonable assumption--some things take weeks and are covered in red tape, while others are done so quickly that you wonder if you missed something.
A few weeks ago, after a stop at Ikea to pick up some shelving and chairs for their new home, they stopped by the correct office with paperwork from the US Consulate indicating that Jane is unmarried in the US. The clerk looked at it, looked at them, and said, "Do you want to get married now?"
"Don't we need some more paperwork?"
"Nope, just this and your ID. Do you have your ID?"
They did. After a brief shuffle to put the shelving and chairs down in a corner of the room, followed by a quick trip to the bathroom, they signed and stamped their way into legal marriage.
Ten days later, on August 26th, they gave their vows.
We bused our way to a community center halfway between Huadu and Guangzhou in little vans commonly referred to as bread vans (they look like loaves of bread). Jane had asked me to be their photographer for the evening and of course I said yes! I went early with her and Leo's mother and aunt (or his two moms, as we call them) and helped with setting up a few things and getting the giant bouquet of roses arranged while Jane and Leo prepared for the ceremony.
Two computers were set up for Jane's family in the US to Skype-in for the ceremony. They gathered at two different houses in two cities at 4am their time, including Jane's 90 year old grandmother! We waved and greeted them before the ceremony started. The best part was when Leo's moms started waving and smiling at them. No words were exchanged but smiles said it all.
Jane and Leo's ceremony was short but very sweet. Toby unofficially officiated (since he's not a pastor), leading with a short Bible verse, and then directing them to say their vows. Leo gave his to Jane in English, and Jane gave the same vow to Leo in Chinese. Everyone was beaming and I found it difficult to take photos because I was starting to choke up.
After the ceremony everyone gave a personal toast to the newlyweds. It was wonderful to hear all the sweet wishes people have for Jane and Leo. They looked more and more touched with each one.
After toasting was eating. There was both western food and fried rice. Then we savored a carrot cake while piano music was played by Toby and another friend. Then, Leo sang Jane a song, and, all the while, Jane gazed at him with love and admiration.
Then it was time to go. We sped off into the night in our little bread vans, leaving Jane and Leo to start their new life together.
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