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Published: August 14th 2007
The following is a compiled list not necessarily demonstrated by the author:
1. Wear arm covers with your tank top (resembling leg warmers but they do not extend all the way to armpits) while riding your bicycle. You will receive a stylish shoulder only tan.
2. Hiking up shirt and walk around with shirt rolled up above nipples. Note, this will expose your middle age saggy belly.
3. Wear pantyhose sockettes with sandals. Note that any slim leg will look like stuffed sausages.
4. Squat in any shade you can find no matter how small.
5. Fan your self furiously with your hello kitty or other fan plastered with advertising.
6. Bring your own bottles of water or suffer the 10 yuan penalty per 600mL imposed by street hawkers peddling water.
7. Hide under umbrella. Please note that you will be jockeying for position with other umbrellas in busy pedestrian areas.
8. Walk around with wet facecloth completely over top of head. Note: Modesty must be kept at bay.
Our time in Beijing has been spent mostly exploring the "must-see" tourist sights that every good tourist has come to see. I
wish I could tell stories about near death in crazy taxi-cabs or people getting injured at the Great Wall but all that I can elaborate on is the love of mothers in encouraging their young male children to urinate in public. Urinating in public is something I have observed in other countries, including my own, but these have all been discreet usually occuring in a corner away from the public eye. Here, however, the first instance was watching a young boy whip out his jimmy in the middle of Tiannamen Square and completely water the square in broad view. Other memorable instances included observing a mother hold up her son to pee in a indoor ritzy shopping area garbage can (I commend her on guiding her son to an accurate aim into the garbage can) and another young boy watering a spot in the middle of the Forbidden City between the hordes of eager tourists.
Next up: Xi'an.
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