Only in Beijing

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I was adopted today by two Danish girls. I met one of them yesterday, and over breakfast this morning we discussed going to see the Forbidden City.

We set off at just past eight, hoping that the crowds would not be as huge as they had been in the Danes' experience the day before on their ill-fated earlier attempt. The City itself only opens at half eight, and yet by the time we'd walked the km or so from our hostel to through Tiananmen Square the place was completely packed. Tiananmen square is 440,000m², and every last bit of it was covered with people milling about.

For some reason there is also a giant bouquet of flowers there. When I say giant, I mean absolutely huge! I'm not sure I am able describe in enough detail just how incredibly massive this thing was... and a little bit pointless.

Inside the city we bought our tickets for ¥60, and paid for an audioguide.

Then I witnessed an unexpected and grotesque sight, which is not an isolated incident, as many of the people I know who have been to China have seen many similar things. But, all the stories, even the trip to Guilin which included a little naked boy running down the street, did not prepare me for what I saw in the centre of the main gate into one of the world's most famous structures... a mother holding a young boy as he defecated onto an open crisp packet.

Oh, Beijing! Why!? The toilets were just there!

Anyway, we entered City and went out to the side as the main part was full of people. The place had been open ten minutes, but we found a museum that housed Calligraphy and had a look around that. Some of the scrolls were more than a thousand years old, but were still well intact. The building itself was just as beautiful, though more difficult to see as the whole place was kept in darkness.

As we walked down the central part of the City, we were accosted by dozens of Chinese tourists asking to take our photos. It seems strange to think of the number of random family albums I am now a proud member of. There were some who asked outright if they could take a photo with us, and there were others who just sidled on up to us and took a sneaky shot when they thought we wouldn't notice. Like any good sideshow attractions, we stood and posed lot's of peace signs. Well, when in Rome...

We got through the entire City in quite good time, but turned round and found a way back to the clock museum, which one of the girls was interested in. Clocks were brought to China be Europeans about 500 years ago, and many of the older clocks on display were made by Brits. Much like the bouquet of flowers, there were some incredibly large clocks, life size in fact, but the odd thing was that although their settings were huge, the clocks themselves were rarely bigger than medium sized pocket watches. They were mounted on all sorts: elephants carried them, as did ladies and servants, life-size camels led by Arabs, they were set into chests, rural scenes, in bells, towers... the list goes on.

We left the Forbidden City by the North Gate and made our way down the east side, but had to eventually get on a bus as the place is deceptively large! The bus took us to Qian Men (near the road to our hostel), and from that bus depot we got on the 126 heading to a shopping centre the Danes were interested in. The shopping centre, like everything else, was also on the big side, with long escalators, that went up several stories, placed seemingly at random. Of all the pieces of art saw, the one in that shopping centre had to be the strangest! A giant bull flying by fart and impaling a fat man above a British telephone box.... I'm sure there is some meaning I am just not getting. Instead of questioning it further we had our lunch.

The two girls went shopping and I went to find the office where I could pick up my ticket to Ulan Bator with the worst map ever conceived by man. On the way, however, I came across a protest. Whereas in HK, protests are part of the everyday and largely ignored, this was different. A man was sitting on top of a giant pole, he was wearing a newspaper smock and shouting at everyone. There must have been a few hundred people watching as the emergency services blew up an inflatable thing, got a cherry picker out and diverted traffic. The crowd that had gathered said nothing, they barely seemed to care. No one looked moved, or even thoughtful as the police and fire brigade went up to fetch him. They stood there, blank, and took photos on their smartphones. Though to be fair, is this any different to how we would react?

I didn't get to see how it all ended, I needed to get to the office before it closed. It was, due to poor cartography, a difficult place to find. I was helped by a kindly door man (gesturing wildly) and a quick chat with the building's CCTV guards (oops). But, hey, all's well, I have my tickets!

I went to Dongsi to meet up with the Danes again, and from there we headed out to the 798 Art District. A creative space set in the 798 area code, quite a drive out from the main part of Beijing. However, they were having a festival and we got to see lots of arty things. We went to a treetop café (well, a café with trees on it, but it was still very nice) and had some traditional Beijing snacks... well, hash browns.

We walked round the streets and I found some cool rings, earrings and postcards. We saw some interesting, and terrifying, artwork (everything from giant dinosaurs in cages, to a photo of a naked toddler sitting on top of a television.

We returned to the hostel after shopping and viewing, and then headed back out for something to eat.

Oh, my God! the portions were huge. Is anything in Beijing made in a regular size?! I ordered a soup and a 'eight-treasure tofu', and they were as big as a meal for a six person family! The Danes had ordered a chicken, a salad and some rice, so between the three of us we had had enough food to feed a terracotta army. Needless to say we didn't finish everything, especially as the tofu dish also included prawns, chicken and other unidentifiable things. I did however get a rose and something iced-tea. Hom nom nom.

Then my two new friends needed to return to the hostel to pack, as they are off to explore China further. Good luck, and happy travels!

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