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Published: February 10th 2014
My Heroes
Student's of the Heroic Imagination Project on a cruise of of the Mekong River after our last planning meeting. I love these guys!I’ve come to understand that I’m driven by a deep since of exploration. I’m just not a goal driven person and I understand that in today’s world, that goes against everything we are taught to be. I’ve tried to “show up” for life on as many days as I could and look for the possibility that day has to offer without thinking about my life’s grand plan. Of course I’ve read and heard about Stephen Covey’s 7-Habits and those who fail to plan, plan to fail and if that works for you, you should do it. It’s just not the way my life has unfolded.
I came to Cambodia almost two years ago driven by that deep since of exploration and curiosity. Every hint of a plan that I arrived with was kicked out from under me. Six months into this I was ready to move to Thailand and try to find work there because I just didn’t understand the rules of this country nor this university but I was determined to make my exploration of Southeast Asia work. As you know, I didn’t leave Cambodia and I didn’t do what I thought I was coming to do but in
Changing the World
One relationship at a time. the process of just trying to show up every day, pay attention to what each moment has to offer I found my way. When all of my flimsy plans fail I try to rely on what I know how to do. I know how to explore, be curious imagine what is possible, and I know how to love. I’ve had some life experience in letting go and letting come so I’ve just trusted that and it’s worked beautifully so far.
This country suffers from unimaginable anguish and wounds. Twenty years of genocide and civil war doesn't disappear in a day. Cambodia is in deep need of healing. I remember all the times as a child that I just wanted someone to hold me and tell me that I’m OK, that I am worthy, and that I am loved. Most of the time, someone was there to provide it. I’ve learned the best way to get what you want is to give what you need. I just started telling my students that they are brilliant, capable, compassionate people that will change the course of their country. I tell them, “I love you and you are my heroes.” And in the
Chy Family on Chinese New Year
My student Somalis invited me to her home to have lunch with her and her family on Chinese New Year. What an honor. process, they are becoming that. I started the Heroic Imagination Project because I was seeing every day heroics that were going unobserved. There is a norm of turning your head here when you see someone do something that you know is wrong. Cheating and corruption are accepted as part of life. Sometimes, this is taken to such a perverse extreme that it offends my most animal senses of morality. By that I mean, in most species, mothers don’t eat their children.
About a month ago on CNN International I saw a one hour special called, “Everyday in Cambodia” as part of their ongoing Freedom Project. This special aired in the U.S. this evening. If you didn’t see it you should. They went to Svay Pak, a community on the outskirts of Phnom Penh that to my eye didn’t look terribly different from any other slum community. But their report revealed some of the darkest and most depraved behavior I have ever encountered. This community is about half immigrants from Vietnam. There is no sense of social connection between people. The Cambodians dislike the Vietnamese and the Vietnamese aren’t bound to one another and everyone is just trying desperately to
Three Strands
A business founded by Agape International to provide jobs for trafficked girls. Available at Whole Foods and other places. scratch their way to survival. Children are treasured, especially little girls, but not in the way I would treasure a daughter.
Svay Pak has become an international destination for pedophiles where they can buy children as young as five for sex. The norm has become to sell your virgin daughter for as much as $2,000 to an international criminal. Doctors even participate in this industry by verifying for the client that they are buying a virgin. Families become deeply indebted to loan sharks and then the pimps move in offer them a way to get out of debt. Of course they never get out of debt and the child becomes a lifeless piece of meat. The children are caged and drugged awaiting the next animal to maul them. Because of the culture of silence, no one speaks out and because of corruption the police are paid to stay away even though there are laws on the book to protect the kids. By the way, Svay means mango in Khmer but it has another meaning—syphilis. I could not watch this CNN special and continue to be part of the problem by not speaking out and saying this in not OK.
Signs of the times
The first BK in Phnom Penh. Some might call this progress. I'm not one of them. I prefer my students NOT Super Sized. There are plenty of poor communities that don’t rape their children. There are plenty of educated and uneducated men that don’t buy girls for sex. This cannot be totally explained by blaming poverty and lack of education. My God, animals protect their young from harm and even if we all aren’t enlightened philosophers at the very least we are capable of not doing such a thing to our children and screaming at the top of our lungs when someone else does. I know child abuse happens but I’ve never seen anywhere that it happens at such a systemic level. As you may have guessed, I found one of my students and I told him to take me and a few of my other students to Svay Pak. And so we did.
Again, on the surface, it didn’t seem so different. By watching the CNN special I knew there was a man and his wife from the U.S. living in this community trying to clean things up. I made an appointment with Don Brewster from Agape International before going out. Don is exactly the kind of everyday hero I want to celebrate and a role model for my students. He’s
Mahabalipurim temple
This temple I visited in India, near Chennai, predates Angkor Wat by about 400 years. not sitting in some luxury office complex in Phnom Penh running an NGO while his driver runs him around town in a Range Rover. You see a lot of that here. Don is in the muck. Agape is a Christian organization and in my opinion Don is exactly where Jesus would be if Jesus were here. Yes, he’s working with the girls and he and his wife have personally adopted three of them as their own children. Many of the employees from Agape have done the same. But Don’s not just working with the kids. He’s building an entire community where there are jobs for women so they don’t have to sell their children, and there is a free quality school for any child who wishes to attend, and there is a gym for the young pimps where they can get off the street, learn martial arts and begin to imagine a different future. Don is changing the heart of this community and day by day I believe the norm of selling your child is changing. I knew I wanted to be a part of this story and I wanted my students to see what a hero does and how
Another Chinese New Year Feast
This one with my student, Bunthet. I know this poor pigeon looks so sad but man was this little guy tasty. one life can change an entire community.
So what is my plan? I don’t plan as much as I imagine. Right now, I am imagining that on International Women’s Day, March 8, I am, with over 100 of my students (of course I hope for 500), going to ride a bike 11km from the university to Svay Pak. We’ll be wearing purple T-shirts that say, “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls I" in English and Khmer. We will be a mobile billboard of Khmer youth taking back the city for our girls and letting this community know that they are supported by young, intelligent, up and coming Cambodians with a moral compass and who are willing to have a voice. When any of my young men hear of someone talking about buying an underage girls, they will speak up. When any of my young women encounter another woman contemplating selling their child, they will speak up. Our T-shirts will be made in the garment factory run by Agape International that creates decent jobs for girls who have been trafficked (all are over 18 now). These T-shirts cost double what I could get them for in a sweat shop factory but
Kampot Pepper Farm
My friend Sean and I did a tour of a black pepper farm near Kampot. French chefs have labeled this the best pepper on the planet. Very interesting process. the difference seems a small price for freedom. And I am going to present Agape International with an award from the PUC Leadership Institute for their exemplary heroic leadership in the community of Svay Pak. I’m hoping my students will get involved to become tutors and mentors for the kids in the school. Right now, that’s what I imagine. And I imagine, that when I come back to Houston in May that I’m going to be heartbroken to leave my other home. But, possibly, it won’t be forever because I imagine that my work here is not finished.
Footnote: If you would like to be a part of supporting the work of my students at PUC on International Women’s Day or supporting Agape International please reply to this post or email me at timoray@hotmail.com and I’ll tell you how to contribute. I need to raise about $2,000 to rent our bicycles and by a T-shirt for each of my students. Any additional money I’m able to raise I am going to present to Agape International for their incredible work. This is likely to be my last post before departing but I will try to post some pictures of our event on March 8. Thanks for being a part of my journey. Anytime you give, the life you change may be your own.
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Home and Away
Bob Carlsen
Thank you for sharing this opportunity for TBers to make a difference...
I will be emailing you for information on how I can contribute. I have friends working in Cambodia in similar organizations, but having you create this link between your university students, the future leaders of Cambodia, and their most oppressed will have a great impact on the future of the country.