Siem Reap - Angkor watch

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Thursday, 9th September
Yesterday we signed ourselves up to the chauffeured company of Lucky, the guy who brought us to town from the bus station. It's the way to do it here - hire these guys for a few quid a day and they will take you wherever you wanna go. And then they will try and persuade you to go somewhere much further away for more quids. We haven't the time nor the inclination.

Anyway imagine our surprise when leaving the hotel and a man who looks like Lucky but isn't Lucky (ooh racist) is standing over a tuk-tuk. Is Lucky just a pimp? Will this guy try and blow us? He certainly doesn't have the little fellow's charm.

We took the tuk-tuk to the Angkor park or site or whatever it calls itself. Via a pricey but worthwhile entrance fee where we got a photo i.d. to enter the site we entered down a tree-lined road, feeling like the whole thing was building up to something spectacular. We'd skipped all the sunrise chat because it's the time of year it's cloudy. Also because it's sunrise and no man is supposed to be awake for that.

By the time we arrived the place was "you'll never get a photo without someone in it" busy. To be expected. We hit Angkor Wat first, being the main temple and the most famous. We were quite surprised by how run down this 500 year old building was. Perhaps because all the night market paintings are of a fully restored version of the building, though I have my doubts any of the artists have lived long enough to see it in its glory. Maybe one withered old man, but his brush-strokes were shaky at best.

We walked through and around the temple whilst 'not-Lucky' chatted to his tuk-tuk buddies. Apart from being spectacular in itself, decorated down to the last weather-beaten detail, the scenery was also incredible. Alan Titchmarsh would literally be off home to change himself. Sadly but necessarily the building was in part covered in scaffolding, all sponsored by Governments with as much claim to the temples as I have to the title 'handsome'. You would think our $40 a day might cover it.

At one point there was an entrance to the upper part of the temple. Hayley was not allowed in with her shoulders uncovered. There are people walking around in shorts so short you can see the contours of their anus, but shoulders are just offensive. Is this some giant plot by the Cambodian Corporation of Scarve Salesmen (CCSS)? I think so. From 20m up I could see Hayley's scowl turning the weather. She missed a whole 15 minutes of awkwardly trying to duck and dive in between camera shots.

Back over the bridge and real Cambodia comes flooding back. We must be some sort of child magnet, 5 of them just glued to us within seconds. They elongate their words as if annoying the fr*g out of us will sell their bracelets better. Bargaining not a strong suit either - 1 bracelet for $15 became 3 for $1 in the blink of an eye. One kid kept claiming London heritage, but he didn't push me over or try and claim how great his football team was so I didn't believe him.

Next we went to Angkor Thom, home of the Bayon. Slightly more run down than Angkor Wat but my personal favourite. Here all of the columns have four giant buddha faces. Absolutely incredible. The shape was a bit maze-like. Perhaps this was a forerunner of the casino philosophy - make it difficult to escape addictive religion. Wouldn't be bad except the whole thing has got a drunken lean to it and looks like it might fall down.

Continuing onwards courtesy of our 3 wheeled carriage we saw the Baphuon, sometimes called the World's largest jigsaw. It was pulled apart by archaeologists in the early seventies (those b*st*rds) but then the records of what went where were lost during the Khmer Rouge days. It's on an ongoing project and may be finished about the time the first colony on Mars is.

Behind a small pond we walked past the Elephant's Terrace. There were lots of elephants. Gargantuan. Enjoyed all the more with about 8 children trying to sell me bracelets that I didn't want earlier and postcards of things that I have taken photos of. We climbed up the Leper's Terrace, not really understanding how the Lepers even got themselves a terrace no-one made me a terrace, and walked along to find that the way down was steeper than some of the mountains we had climbed. The steps were not made for size 10 feet either. You might choose to hold on, except for the fact that the stones are indeed hotter than the sun. Only a leper would be able to hold on in this heat. Oh, er, hmm. No, couldn't be.

Next we moved to Preah Khan, once housing 1,000 teachers. Ironically before entering we spent the first ten minutes explaining words to the security man in a book he was reading. It was mostly about sweetcorn. One more little distraction before sightseeing - landmine victims playing music with one of those heartfelt signs explaining their plight. With just 2 days left in Cambodia we offloaded all of our rials, them being about as worthwhile in my pocket as a spider that got in there and died.

Preah Khan was Hayley's favourite. It may have been mine except after several temples the longer than a conga corridors just got too much. The whole man v. nature thing really stepped up with giant alien looking trees encroaching into and cracking the structures. It made the best photos, which I missed. Whilst I was waiting outside a man began to talk to Hayley about the temple - and then charge her for it! Cheeky f**k!

On the way home we saw a ton of monkeys. Little girls hid behind trees and tried to sell bananas to tourists (the hiding is from the police).

We grabbed some awesome and ridiculously cheap burgers for dinner with the Kiwis who we eventually bade farewell to. We will see them again in Thailand.

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Photos

View from the top
For shoulder-bearing Hayley's benefit