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Published: April 25th 2007
Unlike Ferdinand Magellan we made it out of the Philies in one piece. We're still missing our daily power cuts and friendly security guards who carry shot guns, pistols, truncheons and knives to keep Dunkin' Donuts safe.
A few boat journeys later we made it to Brunei where two days was more than enough. Despite being surrounded by lush tropical rain forest, lovely beaches and lots of furry animals, it seemed a bit like Milton Keynes just with more mosques and mozzies. We did get to see a huge water village, some monkeys and some spankingly OTT palaces, but Mark spent most of the time on his arse as the constant thunderstorms created 2ft deep puddles (nearly up to Jo's neck) and made it a tad slippery underfoot.
Once we arrived in Borneo, we made the obligatory visit to the adorable Orang Utans which was as fun as expected and we even got charged at by a group of 20 probiscus monkeys on the way back (they're the ones with penis noses).
We made a tactical decision to make friends with a couple who had a car and who kindly drove us around. Together we escaped the
local savages and headed for the old colonial part of Sandakan where Mark got soundly beaten at croquet whilst the ladies enjoyed high tea and applauded at appropriate moments.
Jo is worried about the plight of Asia-Pacific dogs. In the Philies, gun happy police shoot on sight any stray that wanders on to a beach, while in Malaysia there are RM100,000 (15 grand) bounties on the heads of sniffer dogs who have been trained to hunt out illegal CDs and DVDs.
In other news, we are now unc and auntie as TomKat have produced a baby James David in the same week that Thomas C and TJ have also become parents to a baby girl currently known as 'Beautiful'. Congrats to all.
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