Unexpected encounters with Zambian wildlife

---

As I neared the Zambian border post it became clear that my minibus would not be taking me all the way across as I had assumed. When I reached the last town before the Malawian border post I was informed that I would have to travel in one of the cars that was going to the border. There was an English guy on the bus with me but I hadn't spoken to him on the journey. As I was being herded towards the waiting cars however, it became clear that he was heading in the same direction as me and that it would make sense to share a car. The driver who wanted to take us insisted that there was room for us despite the fact that there were already two people on the back seat of the car and there was one person in the front seat. I ended up sitting in the back seat, while Martin (the English guy) was told that they always take two people in the front seat. It was a horrendous but thankfully short journey. Once we got to the Malawian border post the driver told me that I should go and get my passports stamped and that I would then have to walk to the Zambian border post from where I would have to take another car to Chipata. I had a bit of a panic at the Zambian border post as there was a poster telling us that if you didn't have two passport photos and $60 US dollars your visa would be refused. I had the cash but not the photos. I needn't have worried. I had barely taken the money out of my wallet when it was snatched from me and my passports was stamped. Clearly money is the only thing that matters in these situations. From the border I suffered another cramped car journey to Chipata from where I was planning on travelling to South Luangwa National Park. Luck was on my side. There was a minibus, which was just about to depart. The other passengers told us that we were unbelievably lucky - they had been waiting for the bus since the previous day. We put our bags on the bus and then strolled round the bus station. It turned out that Martin lives in Archway in London, which is quite a coincidence as I spent many cold mornings there waiting for the bus to work. As usual the bus actually left about two hours after the driver had told us that we were about to leave. The road to Mfuwe was pretty appalling but bizzarely every now and then. There was a kilometre or two of excellent tarred road. The strangest thing about these stretches of road was that they were linked to nothing and there was nothing of interest or importance anywhere near them. They were in the middle of the bush. I couldn't help but wonder what Zambia's road building strategy is. I arrived in Mfuwe at around 4pm. There was nothing there, except a few mud huts and some lodges near the entrance to the national park. Martin had suggested we stay at a place called the Croc Farm. My guidebook described this place as quiet, which is just what I wanted. I didn't really know what to expect though so I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Croc Farm was right on the southern bank of the Luangwa river. I pitched my tent on the river bank and sat on a bench watching the hippos, crocodiles and elephants on the other side. It was pretty amazing. I had been told that animals often came into the campsite but I hadn't taken it too seriously as I had heard it so many times before. However, that night I was woken up by a great big hippo grazing next to my tent. What's more the next morning a German guy who was also camping told me that his group had forgotten to close their coolbox the night before and that an elephant had eaten their food, smashed their bottle of wine and had then charged at the security guard, who had luckily escaped unharmed. He was understandably shaken as another villager had been killed by an elephant just two days before. While the food at the Croc Farm was delicious it was also incredibly expensive so the two of us decided to head to the village to buy supplies. I bought some bread and the ingredients for a tomato salad. I then decided to walk to Flatdogs (another lodge) as the German guy had told me that he had walked there the day before and that he had seen plenty of animals from their viewing platform. When I arrived there after a pretty tiring walk I was accosted by a local woman who obviously worked there. She told me off for walking and informed me that it was extremely dangerous. I pointed out that there was no sign anywhere on the road to suggest that that was a case and that I had therefore assumed that it wouldn't be a problem. She reiterated the fact that it was dangerous and then let me go and buy some cold drinks. As it turned out I didn't really see any animals so I decided to head back to the place where I was staying. I walked towards the reception, where I was going to ask for a lift as I didn't want to risk being eaten or being told off again. When I got there I found a white woman who I presumed was the owner. She immediately started having a go at me for not having come in a car. I again pointed out that it might be helpful if they put up a sign warning people not to walk, but she chose to ignore me. Martin asked her if she could give us a lift to the main road, (about 5 minutes drive away) seeing that it was so dangerous. She informed us that she was too busy (smoking a cigarette on the verandah) and that she couldn't spare any of her drivers so we'd just have to walk. We were a bit apprehensive but we figured that if it was that bad then she would have taken out the time to give us a lift. All was well until we were almost near the main road. There was a herd of elephants extremely nearby. It was a pretty scary moment. We moved towards the main road very slowly. Oh the relief when we reached safety. I couldn't believe that the lazy woman at Flatdogs had let us walk, knowing the dangers, especially since we had made a genuine mistake. Thankfully the afternoon was rather more pleasant. I had a fantastic game drive and saw loads of animals. I didn't see lions or leopards but I wasn't disappointed as I knew I would get another chance later on in the trip. On my return to the lodge I found that the owner had set up a table for me on the river bank. It was set beautifully and the food was delicious. She said that she felt we deserved a treat, which was particularly kind seeing that I was only paying $5 a night to camp. The next day I decided to head to Lusaka. This turned out to be harder than I thought due to the fact that there was no public transport. In the end I managed to negotiate a deal with a guy who had a pick up. He agreed to let the three of me travel in the front with him, which made the journey considerably less painful. He had told me that I would be in Chipata by 7pm. I ended up arriving there at 1am. This was mainly due to the fact that I was constantly stopping to pick up passengers. There were so many that I could see their legs dangling down from the roof of the cab as he was driving. The driver also felt that it was necessary for him to stop to brush his teeth. While I admired his commitment to dental hygiene I felt that this really could have waited until he got home. When I arrived in Chipata there were several coaches heading to Lusaka. All the drivers tried to convince me that their competitors were lying thieves and they drove me absolutely mad. In the end I chose one at random and promptly fell asleep. I had lots of things that I needed to do in Lusaka so I planned to find some cheap accommodation and then head into the city. I hadn't realised that there is no such thing as cheap accommodation in Zambia - everything is ridiculously expensive. I ended up staying in a dorm in a backpackers, which I was not too happy about but I had to lump it. I dropped off my stuff and then headed into the city. I had been looking forward to having dinner at Gandhi's ( a renowned Indian restaurant) for a couple of days, so I was very happy when dinner time came along. Unfortunately when I got there it was closed, as were all the other restaurants. Apparently restaurants in Lusaka generally close between 5 and 6pm. Seems pretty strange, but hey who am I to judge. I ended up having pizza instead. The next morning I headed for Livingstone. The prospect of seeing the falls was incredibly exciting. As soon as I arrived I dropped off my bags at Fawlty Towers, where I was staying (thankfully nothing like the one I've all seen on TV) and headed to the ice-cream parlour. I then had a meal at the local Indian restaurant. It was a pretty good evening. The next day I went to see the falls. It was absolutely amazing. There are walking trails so that you can admire the falls from all angles. I spent the whole day walking around and enjoying the amazing views. It was definitely one of the highlights of my trip. That night I had Martin's farewell dinner at Funky Monkey's Pizza Parlour, as he was heading off to Namibia the next day. After his departure I spent two more days lazing around in Livingstone. I spent my time drinking strawberry milkshakes at Funky Monkey's and when I wasn't there I was usually in the vicinity of the ice-cream parlour. It was pretty tough. On the 6th August I headed back to Lusaka as were due to fly to Cape Town the next day. In the Lonely Planet there was a campsite, which they described as being convenient for the airport so I decided to spend the night there. Unfortunately it was nothing of the sort, it was miles away from anywhere and the taxi fare used up all my remaining money. That night I shared an unripe papaya and went to bed hungry. The next morning I got up early and called a taxi. Thankfully the driver was able to take me to a cashpoint and I was able to pay him, and get some food at the airport. I checked in at around 10 and then had some food while waiting for the call to board my flight to Johannesburg. I had just about finished my meal when I heard the announcer telling me that my flight would be delayed by at least an hour.

---