Canoeing on the Lower Zambezi


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Africa » Zambia » Lusaka
January 2nd 2007
Published: January 2nd 2007
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D: Hi, I’m Danielle. I’m Mike’s newly acquired Zambian-Adventure Buddy, via way of a mutual friend. Not to confuse folks, I’m actually from Virginia and just moved to Lusaka from Boston to do HIV research. I will be periodically interjecting to add spice to this blog. Hope you don’t mind!

We have returned to Lusaka having survived the four-day canoeing safari on the lower Zambezi River. Yes, I said “WE.” In some strange twist of fate Danielle decided that having never been camping or canoeing before she should blow off work and try both at the same time. Some call it crazy, she said it was baptism by fire. But since I said “we” returned, I guess it wasn’t so bad. Though I had many threats on my life but we will get to those.

D: So it’s the truth, I’ve never been camping before. Despite having spent extended periods of time working in Africa, and having “backpacked” Spain, Australia, and New Zealand, I’ve never slept in a tent, nor have I been away from electricity and plumbing for more than the standard developing-country blackout period. I actually think it’s pretty cool that I can say that my first time “camping” was somewhere between Zambia and Zimbabwe on the Zambezi river during a 4 day canoe safari.

As I said before, 6AM came early on the day after Christmas. I think the first lesson learned is that you shouldn’t pack for a 4-day trip at 2AM the night before. Nothing serious was forgotten, just little creature comforts and annoyances. But that is a good lesson to learn.

D: Mike has failed to mention that in addition to packing at 2AM, we were reasonably intoxicated with Christmas cheer, aka, gin and tonic.

There were four of us on this trip plus Casbert the guide (sorry, I know I massacred that spelling). Anna and Kath two Canadian girls joined Danielle and me. I believe, but I’m not sure, that the pre-trip safety talk made Kath and Danielle a little nervous. The talk covered mostly what to do if hippos attacked your boat, and we were warned not to drag fingers or toes in the water for fear of the crocs. Definitely a different set of safety rules than I was used to.

D: To defend myself, the pre-trip talk included specific tips, like “if a hippo should knock your canoe over, swim as quickly as you can to the shore - there’s nothing much else you can do,” and “don’t dangle any part of your body outside of the canoe at any time because a croc could come and eat you.” Please also keep in mind that I can’t really swim, per say.

The first day was pretty easy and short. We spent most of it in the Kafue River, leading into the Zambezi. There aren’t many animals in the Kafue, so there wasn’t much to fear. We camped the first night on an island on the Zim side of the river. Technically, I think we were illegally in Zimbabwe, but who was checking in the wilderness. This campsite and night were the worst of the trip. The mosquitoes were bad and it was hot, well no breeze. Danielle got to experience setting up a tent and a camp for the first time. Casbert was great at telling her that tomorrow there would be showers, TV, and we were going to pet hippos. She believed all of it for a while. I think it gave her hope. As we went to bed she told me that she was “Miz! I’m hot, the mosquitoes keep biting me, and I feel gross.” I just laughed, I was just happy she had actually paddled all day… I had been threatened that she wasn’t paddling. It didn’t bother me that all the trouble and discomfort was My Fault, I fully expected that. But she was good-natured about it.

D: Why shouldn’t I believe what’s told to me?? I put my life in the hands of a guy I met 3 days ago and a Zimbabwean guide - the least I should expect is that they would be looking out for me. To add to Mike’s observations about the conditions on Night 1, I would like to include the adjectives “plague-like swarms of blood-thirsty mosquitoes,” “stifling heat comparable to that of a sauna at Bliss Spa,” and “OMG I can’t believe I haven’t been able to shower after paddling 15K in 90 degree heat.”

Tonight I also saw my first truly good African sunset. It was spectacular, and amazingly they got better as the trip went on. We all fell asleep listening to hippos play in the water and grunt and make all kinds of noise. They always sound so near. In the middle of the night I woke up to hear one walking through the camp. I didn’t move, just laid in my tent.

D: I was pretty much up the whole nite waiting to be attacked by hippos. I know that they are vegetarians, but somehow that fact did nothing to calm my nerves. Mike forgot to mention the lions that we heard shortly before retiring for the evening.

The next day was the long day. We started at 5:30AM with the sun and immediately started paddling. Lucky for us today was cloud covered so it wasn’t so hot. At brunch break/siesta, there was a group of elephants hanging out. We got out an watched for about an hour. They came really close. At one point two of the elephants were quite close and looking at us. Casbert just held his hand up as if he was a policemen stopping traffic. The one elephant backed off and the other went about his business. Later the one elephant got interested in us again. This time Casbert stood up, put up his hand, and said, “Stay there.” The elephant listened and actually took off. It was a tense few moments for all. I don’t really know what the chances of the elephant charging us were, but they were high enough for the guide to do something.

D: So for this part of the adventure, I was wearing a white Hanes undershirt and bright red RedSox visor. Later that evening, our guide kindly asked me if I had anything else other than a white shirt, because white shirts will basically make you a walking target for elephants and hippos. He actually said he was contemplating, as the aforementioned elephant approached, asking me to take off my shirt. I’m not sure what I would have done if he had actually asked me to do so as the elephant contemplated charging us. Can you imagine? A full grown African elephant within 10 yards and your guide asking you to take off your clothes. I guess I would have done it, I dunno though…

All day Danielle was a big help controlling the boat. This was accomplished by telling me to turn left, turn right, or catch up. She didn’t like being too far behind or off track from the other boats. I didn’t mind as long as we weren’t too far back. I was happy to float, take pictures, and relax. Of course every time I did this we would fall back, and it would be requested or strongly suggested by Danielle that we catch up.

D: And by “strongly suggested,” Mike actually means “yelled at with an obvious fear and abhorrence in the tone of her voice.” Fine, I admit it. I was scared to be far removed from the guide (the only person who really knew what he was doing) during a trip down the Mighty Zambezi in the middle of the African wilderness.

After siesta the trip went through “hippo city.” Not really sure if this is a real name or just invented by Casbert but it was fitting. Of course, this section started with a bad omen. As we launched the boats, I saw a hippo on land for the first time. So I’m busy taking pictures, and listening to Danielle worry about falling behind. As I put the camera down I realize that we drifted closer to the hippo than desired, we were also starting to drift down the wrong side of the island. A little perturbed I had to paddle with some enthusiasm and keep an eye on the hippo.

A brief word on hippo etiquette. The rule of thumb is don’t block a hippo’s escape route. They are dumb, easily frightened animals. If you are in their way then they run you over. So if the hippo is on land, don’t get between it and the water. If it is in the water, don’t get between it and deep water… or just be as far away as is prudent. See the open endedness of that last option.

Anyway I was happy that the hippo on land didn’t charge. But now we were behind, and in a narrow channel, maybe 10-15 meters wide. I’m not really sure what happened. I know that we were on the right bank with everyone else, just farther back. Casbert was a little nervous because there were hippos everywhere, and Danielle was nervous because we were so far behind. Suddenly, a hippo surfaced maybe 5 meters from the boat. For those keeping score at home, that is way to close for comfort. I jumped in surprise and started paddling, while watching the hippo. I was happy to see he was swimming away. Danielle jumped and hissed, “Are you f-ing kidding me? - I’m going to kill you Mike.”

D: Please be reminded that it was Mike and his snap-happy-photo-mentality that caused us to be so close to the hippo to begin with, so who could blame me for blaming him for being too close for comfort?

But we weren’t through “hippo city” yet. The next little rush occurred as the channel narrowed even more, to <10 meters I would guess. It seemed as though there were hippos on both shores, and we were trying to zig zag back and forth between them. At one point we were pushing ourselves up against the left bank. Both of the lead boats were briefly beached. We had to sit patiently and listen to hippos grunt and submerge and surface, wondering how pissed they really were. As we got going, we ran over a small sand bar that scraped the bottom. Danielle looked back with panic in her eyes, “what was that?!” We all managed to get out of this tight spot without any real incident.

D: I totally thought we canoed over a hippo when it was actually a sandbar. This portion of the trip reminded me of the Whack-a-Mole games that I used to LOVE at Chuck E Cheese’s. There were hippos popping up everywhere, and it was up to us to avoid them as best we could.

So now it was time to swim. Yes we went swimming in the croc and hippo infested Zambezi. We found a big sandbar, too shallow for hippos and crocs to hang out on, and frolicked in 30cms of water… no deeper. It was weird to look around and see hippos looking at us from all sides, like having chaperones.

We had one other truly hair raising incident on the last day. We were paddling along, not paying the most attention. I think we all saw the hippo on our right side a little late. We had just started turning to the left when it jumped up and started running. I think we all felt a little panic. Danielle said she knew it was serious when I said “D paddle, PADDLE!” I just remember thinking we are about to be hit by a hippo. But then I saw it resurface close to where it was, thank our lucky stars.

D: Mike is not painting an entirely accurate picture, so please allow me to elaborate. We were actually doing a pretty good job of keeping up with the other two canoes - unlike the previous day (thanks mike!). However, I now know that it’s not always good to be right up behind another canoe, because it may impede your turning abilities, especially when you have to make a sharp turn to, let’s say, avoid a hippo. I was looking at the hippos on shore when I saw a huge one do a beautiful 10-point belly-flop and disappear underwater, seemingly headed in our direction. I took a split second to look forward only to be greeted by the horrified faces of not only Anna and Kath, but our guide as well. It’s never a good thing to see fear in the face of your safari guide as a hippo false charges your canoe.

Overall the trip was a huge success for all involved, and a good time was had by all. We fell asleep every night listening to hippos. The last night there were lions off in the distance roaring for most of the night. We didn’t see any big cats. We did see lots of hippos, some elephants, some buffalo, baboons, impalas, warthogs, and birds. There were lots of birds. I don’t know what most were; we were too far behind the guide most of the day. I do remember seeing herons and fish eagles.

D: Ew, we stayed far behind because I hate birds. That distance was intentional on my part - my bad mike.

Since Danielle was the only person on the trip without a Nyami Nyami, she decided it was necessary to make constant sacrifices to the Zambezi gods. First she donated a t-shirt. It was set under the cargo net in the boat, amazingly neither of us saw it disappear. The next donation was a set of sunglasses, just after the last hippo scare. Somewhere along the way she also donated a ponytail holder. I guess all the sacrifices worked we all arrived safely back in Lusaka. I think I’ll stick with my Nyami Nyami though.

The Nyami Nyami, is the ancient god of the Zambezi River. I don’t really know the full story. It is a sort of snake like god.

With all the travel back and forth between Zim and Zam, I got the song Colonel Tuckers stuck in my head… go figure.

D: I have no idea what this refers to - must be an aged reference beyond my young years… 

Many of the pictures for this trip were supplied by Danielle. I have no idea which ones, but thanks D.

D: Any time Mike. Just be sure to keep steering the canoe away from hippos and crocs and I’ll take as many pictures as you want.

Lower Zambezi Pictures

New Years


New Years Eve in Lusaka was interesting to say the least. It started with a drunk and lost cab driver chasing us down the sidewalk with his car and ended with drunk, bumper bowling in the bowling alley in a strip mall. In between there were big crowds and fireworks.

I guess I should expand on the cab driver bit of last night. We hailed the cab out by our flat. (We is D, Ty, and myself.) We were headed to dinner at the Lusaka Club for good steaks. The cabbie told us he knew where it was so we got in. Well a half hour or so later, and two just random stops where the cabbie just got out and talked to people, we still weren’t there. We decided we had had enough and got out of the cab to find another cab. We were at least downtown now. So the cabbie and his friend start following us, saying “Get in Boss.” “It is alright.” “I know where we are going, that was just my boss I was talking to.” I was a little apprehensive that this was about to get ugly. However, we just kept walking. It was the right thing to do. As we would get away from where the cab was parked, the cabbie would run back and get the cab. He just kept driving down the sidewalk, following us. I think our biggest danger was to get run over by the drunk cabbie. After what seemed like the longest 5 minutes of walking we found another cab. However, the old cabbie did manage to get enough in the front seat to impare the new cab from leaving. Much to our discontent, it was finally solved by paying the old cabbie 10 Pin, (10,000Kwacha). The total fare was supposed to be 25Pin. 10Pin is about $2.5… but that wasn’t the point.

Dinner was excellent. Then it was off to Arcades which is a large strip mall. The place was packed with people. All were there to watch the fireworks, which were pretty good. Around 1AM or so we decided that the time had come to bowl, so we went bowling. What a way to usher in the New Year. Yes I lost, and that wasn’t so cool.















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3rd January 2007

Happy New Year
Good to see you back at it again Mike. Thanks for the update.
11th January 2007

mad mike
Its sweet you have hooked up with a travel buddy, studying HIV in africa, thats something where u'll never run out of work. Sounds like you are having heaps of fun. Watched a dvd last night called the clerks 2 with silent bob and jay. Never heard of the term "Porch Monkey"?

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