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Published: September 30th 2017
Welcome to Africa ...
... I'm sure this is extremely safe, right?
Geo: -17.8573, 25.8429
Playing Sherlock Holmes and using pure logic, I deduced that I am experiencing the onset of menopause, since I experienced all of the following symptoms last night: hot flashes, night sweats, fatigue, an increase in facial hair, insomnia, disorientation, weight gain, sudden bouts of bloat, changes in body odour, irritability, headaches, and body aches.
However, the theory behind my conclusion was blown to bits when I picked up my pamphlet on Malarone, an anti-malarial drug we just started taking last night, in preparation for our visits to Botswana, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. It turns out the drug has tons of side effects, and it quickly became glaringly obvious that Sherlock Holmes, I am not ...
You'd think that after 32 hours of travel and a few hours spent having dinner, we'd be exhausted and have the most restful of sleeps - but unfortunately for us, the hot flashes and insomnia did us in, exacerbated by bizarre dreams, another problem caused by Malarone. Though we managed to be in bed by 11 PM, I only managed to sleep for an hour before waking up at midnight, and finally managed to fall asleep again at 1 AM, having a luxurious two additional hours
Baboons Everywhere in Zambia ...
... these ones were cute, looking almost like they were all sitting together and watching a movie.
of sleep before waking up for the final time ...
So there I was, at 3:30 AM, unsure what to do in order to kill the time, eventually deciding to hand wash my lone shirt and pair of underwear, followed by sitting at the hotel room's desk, drying them with a hairdryer. I suppose this surreal scene could have been just an extension of my bizarre nightmare, but sadly, this pathetic scene probably did play itself out ...
The surreal life continued after arriving at the Jo'burg airport, as we madly scrambled through Woolworth's, buying up whatever we could. T-shirts, flip flops, panties, Daisy Dukes, concealer, eyeliner, and mascara - and that was just what I bought for myself, not including Benita's purchases! What I can I say? A menopausal man can feel insecure, and I thought a little make up and sexy clothes would pump up my spirits!
Then finally, to top it all off - as we were about to board our plane for Livingstone, Benita bumps into Sunni, one of her patients from Calgary, and his wife! Though she had been aware of his upcoming Africa trip, and even that he would be visiting many of the same places
as us, we couldn't believe that we ended up on the same flight to Livingstone. Positively surreal!
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