Advertisement
Published: August 20th 2007
Amnesia cure
The dessicated head of a chimpanzee - held by some guy who tried to get me to buy his crappy cowhorn trinkets Sandwiched between the slave-trading empires of the Ashanti and the Dahomey, the Togolese lost a lot of their folks to slavery. The Germans invaded in the 1880s, and found an obscure, and suitably-pliant, village chief, who signed a treaty of protection with them. They stuck around until 1919, and were then unceremoniously kicked out after World War One. The Brits and French took over, and the British eventually shaved off the western edge of Togo to add it to the Gold Coast - or Ghana, as it later was. The French granted independence to the remaining rump in 1960; but this was hardly a favour - Togo was a thin sliver of fractured tribes, 40 of them, actually, in a slice of jungle that measures 56km across by 500 km long. Yeah, thanks a bunch, France. Great recipe for post-colonial success. So yes, Togo has pretty much been a mess since independence. Coups, dictators, poverty, all that crap. The French would blame African corruption, greediness, laziness, lack of talent. I'd say it was lumbering a diverse bunch of
Stampy
Poor old Nellie lost a foot to the juju witchdoctors in Lome... tribes with ownership of a mutant child called Togo, and then not giving them any resources with which to do it. But then, I am a terrible cynic.
If there are any Frenchies reading this, don' t worry, I am equally angry with the Brits, the Belgians (more so actually, they REALLY stuffed up the Congo), the Portuguese, the Italians, the Spanish. I heard a tale - probably true - about how Britain granted independence to Sudan. Apparently, they were so angry with the post-colonial tide of the 1960s, they decided to make an example of that country. They purposefully created a massive, sprawling nation, with a huge amount of religions and tribes, that would be ungovernable. The new Sudanese government would admit defeat, and ask the old imperial power, Britain, to step in and sort out the mess. Any other potential independent African nations would get the message, and decline to push for freedom. The result? Well, Britain didn't get to hold on to its African colonies, but Sudan certainly proved to be ungovernable. Flash forward to 2007, Darfur...enough said.
The ugly story of Togolese independent rule can be pretty much summed up with a brief rundown
Karma chameleons
These poor chaps, if powdered up and put into a drink, will help you be a bit luckier in love on the late, great Gnassingbe Eyedema. This man is amazing: he makes most tin-pot dictators look like amateurs. He was in the French army, and participated in the 1963 coup that got rid of Togo's first president, Sylvanus Olympio. Some say Eyedema actually shot him. A puppet ruler came into place, but then Eyedema staged another coup, and took power in 1967. He remained there, pretty much, till his death in 2005, Africa's longest-serving ruler. Let's look at some of the wonderful things Gnassingbe did:
1) He had an entourage of 1000 women who danced and sang for him.
2) He was the hero of a Togolese comic book, which depicted him as a superman with special powers.
3) He won three lots of UNCONTESTED elections. Well, wouldn't anybody?
4) He was the only survivor of a plane crash that was supposedly an assassination attempt. That is actually pretty impressive.
5) He was shot in another assassination attempt, and wore the bullet removed by his surgeon as an amulet. Aren't you impressed yet?
6) He apparently fed his opponents to crocodiles. James Bond, where are you? (I don't really believe this one, but God it sounds awesome).
7) He
Aneho beach
The nice part of the beach at Aneho, away from where the fisherfolk do their essential business changed the Constitution to allow Presidents to seek a third term in office. Lo and behold, he won a third term in office soon after.
8) On his last legs, he also changed the constitution to lower the minimum age of the President from 45 to 35. This had nothing to do with the fact that his son, Faure, was then 35.
9) He excluded the politician Gilchrist Olympio - son of the man he had allegedly murdered back in the 1960s - from standing in elections. What a good sport!
10) He claimed that democracy in Africa, "moves along at its own pace and in its own way." So I think that excuses the torture and executions.
11) He fathered more than 100 kids. No Viagra for this strongman.
12) And yes, his son is now President. Vive le Togo!!
I despair when I hear tales like this. It just doesn't fit with the friendly Togolese people, and their wide grins and sense of humour. I don't think anybody gets the leaders they deserve - these guys just foist themselves upon whoever they can. Bastards.
Anyway, Togo: a thin slice of West Africa, like a cross between
The Godfather
A horse's head, fresh and ready to be used as voodoo steroids for the Togolese soccer team Burkina Faso and Ghana; held together by an iron-fisted ruler and a collective love of football. Lome, the capital city, is seriously like Ouagadougou on the beach. Arranged in a D-shape behind the sea, it is a ragtag city of buzzing motorbikes, open sewers and incredibly busy markets. The palm trees that fringe the beach lend it an air of say, the Caribbean, but on closer inspection, the shit-strewn sand, the piles of chillis drying in the sun, and the snoozing groups of homeless folk remind you that this is West Africa, not the West Indies. Saying that, it is not without its charm, but also not without its smells and ear-piercing traffic sounds.
The border crossing from Ghana is exceedingly strange. Three hours from Accra, you hit the frontier at Aflao. It is right next to the beach, and you can see the waves crashing in as you try to negotiate your way past the Togolese border guards. These guys are pretty drunk on their small amount of power, though, and make you wait. If you slip them a bribe - like one old Lebanese guy I saw - they process you straight away, but I'm on West
Juju heads
A variety of croc and chimp heads up for sale at the Marche des Feticheurs African time now, so I enjoyed the wait. Then - you walk out past Immigration, and you are directly into the bustle of Lome, the capital. I have never crossed a border directly into a capital city before, and it is quite bizarre. I took a moto - motorcycle taxi - to my chosen hotel, but it has become a brothel since the Lonely Planet was written, so I found one
sans prostitutes.
There's not much to see in Lome, except for the rather incredible Marche des Feticheurs. This is not some perverted market for people like me with strange fetishes, but for people who are after
real fetishes - that is, juju (as its called here), or voodoo, charms. The market is not for hardcore Animal Liberationists - if you like your lizards frilled, not grilled, then don't come here. It is basically just a collection of animal bits - mainly heads - that are either boiled up into potions, or worn around your neck. During my perfunctory tour, the guy who showed me around, Felix, pointed at pretty much everything on display - turtle's heads, dried chameleons, ostrich eggs - and said, 'this is ground into a
Place de l'independance
The monument to Togolese nationhood - Gnassingbe's four decade dictatorship isn't mentioned on it anywhere, strangely enough powder, and added to water, and drunk'. Not very imaginative in terms of pharmaceutical procedures, this juju, but - the ingredients!! I couldn't believe some of the stuff these jujumen were selling. For those with erectile dysfunction, there were full vulture carcasses, ready for powdering up. If you have elephantiasis - simple, try this massive elephant's foot (I'm not sure how much of that you add to a glass of water). For memory loss - bloody hell, real life, preserved Chimpanzee's heads. I wonder how much one of those will set you back at the local pharmacy. And if you're a sportsman in need of some, um, natural enhancement - an entire horse's head, Godfather-style. Less obvious than steroids in a urine test, I suppose, but hard work getting it in the teapot.
After seeing all this, plus massive elephant bones, croc heads and monkey bits, Felix led me to the 'witch doctor' - actually a young guy in jeans and a T-shirt, who was less shamanic than most of my mates. He proceeded to ask my name, occupation and reasons for being in Togo, and then blessed a variety of fetishes for me. I knew what was coming
Animal viagra
This unfortunate-looking vulture may just be the answer to your erection problems next, as I had the charms placed in my lap. This was not some free juju I was getting. I selected the smallest, ugliest, simplest fetish - a bit of varnished twig, supposedly good luck for travelling - and asked the price. My very trendy witch doctor said it was a steal at just 30,000CFA - that's 75 bucks Aussie. For a twig. I laughed, handed it back, and was unceremoniously asked to leave the shamanic hut. Well, shed. Felix left me at this point, realising I wasn't going to be handing him any large tips any time soon. I took a few snaps and left my scamming friends and their collection of weird animal bits behind.
I didn't do much else in Togo. I darted along the coast to the beach resort, and former colonial capital of Aneho. Now, don't let the words 'beach resort' lead you to believe that the beach might actually NOT have been a large, sandy, human toilet. I couldn't walk three yards without stepping in something gross. And resort? I did get accosted by a prostitute who ordered me to buy her and her two infant brothers a beer, and I met a
Voodoo skulls
Godknows what these cure, but they look impressive mad Nigerian who asserted that he could control the ocean, if that makes a place a resort. I found the one sit-down restaurant on my side of town, and it had run out of food. So, not much luck in Aneho.
Unhappy with my Togolese beach, and eager to discover (in just five days) the beating heart of Togo, I decided to return to a winning formula - Lome. The buzzing motorbikes and loud streetside bars had taken hold of me. So last night, I sat myself in one of the aforementioned bars on the busiest thoroughfare in the city, and watched the world go by over an Awooyo beer. I watched prositutes ply their trade, I saw old women dance past the bar as their ears picked up the rhythm of the music blaring from the speakers, I exchanged greetings of 'bon soir' with old men in safari suits, and watched Lomean teenagers wander by in their Sunday best, out for a drink, a dance and hopefully a bit of action. I didn't find the beating heart of Togo - but for a little while, I saw something other than the grime, poverty and chaos.
Tom's
Thankyou God
A typical West African fishing boat, replete with religious commentary, on the beach at Aneho Top Three of Togo
1. The moto-taxis. Zipping through the busy Lome traffic on the passenger seat of a motorbike is crazy, cheap fun. Yes, I know, I've been in Africa too long when I find this a fun thing to do.
2. Beers in Lome. Sitting in a streetside bar drinking Awooyo beers and watching the ragtag Togolese go about their business.
3. Lome itself. Dirty, crowded, smelly gutters, and traffic that will kill you as soon as look at you - but the beachside location and easy-going folks lend this capital city a tiny bit of charm.
Tom's Bottom Two of Togo
1. The beach at Lome - human latrines full of dodgy looking guys aren't great places to sunbathe.
2. Aneho. I was only there for a day, but still got hassled by an ugly prostitute who made me give her and her younger brothers some beer, plus a Nigerian Jehovah's Witness who told me he could control the oceans. Oh, and the beaches here were full of human excrement too. And the only restaurant I could find had run out of chicken AND fish - which, in West Africa, means - no
Big cow skull
Another voodoo cure for something or other more food.
****
Now, before I close this entry, I suppose I should do some sort of round-up of the last four months or so in West Africa. I could sit here for hours, doing a bunch of lists, highlights, best-ofs, favourite moments, worst journeys, etc, of the last 10,000kms or so since Tangier, Morocco. But then I wouldn't be able to do it all again at the end of the whole African trip. So, I will attempt to keep it brief.
In Suze's words, paraphrased from a T-shirt we saw in Kathmandu, it has been a long, strange trip through this part of the world. West Africa is a land of contrasts: a land where death is so close, but everyone has such a lust for life; of grinding poverty, and rich culture; of warm generosity, and constant ripoffs; of endless desert and Sahel scrub, and teeming urban jungles.
There is something here for everyone. If you love good food and amazing shopping, get to Morocco. For desert junkies, you can't look past the dunes of Mauritania. Keen trekkers will lap up the arid hills and verdant valleys of Cape Verde. For music, dancing and joie de vivre, Senegal is the place to be. Mali offers an authentic slice of rural African life. When you're ready to kick back and drink beers with some friendly locals, then Burkina Faso might just be the destination. Beaches of white sand, and a country rich in history? That would be Ghana. Bustling markets, loud bars - go to Togo.
Suze and I have loved West Africa. It hasn't always been easy, but it's great fun. Covering so many countries, and so many kilometres, in just four months, we didn't get to see anywhere near all of the places we wanted to. If we came back, we would definitely spend more time in Senegal, and see the Casamance region; we would visit The Gambia (visa issues notwithstanding) and Guinea (civil unrest not withstanding), and we would try to get up to Timbuktu (floods and 50 degree heat notwithstanding; we would probably skip Cape Verde (a long way to go to see some hills and islands). But we saw a fair bunch of stuff; so, you can't stop me and my overpowering need to make meaningless lists - here's the best and the worst, according to us...
The Highlights of West Africa
1. The medinas of Morocco - especially Chefchaouen and Fes.
2. The Dogon Country in Mali.
3. The hallucinogenic sand-dunes of Mauritania.
4. The beaches of the western coast of Ghana.
5. The beautiful island of Santo Antao, Cape Verde.
6. The mouth-watering cuisine of Morocco and Senegal.
7. The wonderful West Africans themselves.
8. The crazy, noisy markets throughout the region.
9. The landscapes - from the rugged Atlas Mountains, to the ethereal Sahara, to the swampy mangroves of the Sine Saloum delta, to the rocky bushland of Mali, to the steamy jungles of Ghana - a beautiful part of the world.
10. The hippos of Burkina Faso.
The Lowlights of West Africa
1. The public transport - slow, crowded, hot, broken-down old vehicles being driven by speed-freaks.
2. The hustler, touts and wannabe-guides. No, I DON'T want one of whatever you're trying to sell me, merci beaucoup.
3. The poverty - in Mali and Burkina, especially.
4. The climate. It doesn't just rain, it floods; it isn't just too hot, it's hot enough for a bloody heat-scarf; it's not just humid, it's like a sauna; it's not just dry, it's killing the crops.
5. The politics. I am sick of all these arsey little dictators with so much cash and power!!!
6. The disease - especially malaria. Not only because it had us under nets, covered in 80%!D(MISSING)EET repellent, and breathing in mozzie coils, and not only because it got Suze, but also because it kills so many people here needlessly!
7. The tourist prices. I haven't paid the real price for anything since Germany, I reckon.
8. The visas...having to stop in capital cities to get a stamp that costs 50 bucks, just so you can get to the next capital city, to get the next stamp... grrrr.
9. The capital cities themselves. Open sewers, crazy traffic, pollution, poverty, gross smells - there's no Parises of Africa over here.
10. The language. My fault, I know. I don't speak Bambara, or Wolof, or More, or Ashanti, and my French isn't much cop. The locals were pretty forgiving of mine and Suze's sad attempts to speak en francais, the French tourists we met were not.
***
Africa Country Count: 9
Togo Overland Kilometre Count: 90km
Africa Overland Kilometre Count: 17,075km
Next Country: I'm not telling you!
Advertisement
Tot: 0.118s; Tpl: 0.026s; cc: 15; qc: 32; dbt: 0.0469s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.2mb
Stephen Paul
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Instant Impression, Instant Punishment
The merchant of any Great Ape body parts should be tortured to ascertain who he got the parts from, then that man should be tortured to find who he got them from and so on up to the hunters of these last remaining creatures. After the information is acquired the men should be shot on the spot. Im no PETA animal liberation person, but there are so few great apes in the wild its sickening to see body parts for sale. With 6 billion of us and only 150,000 chimpanzees left it seems unacceptable to have these animals for sale- even for the war torn, brutally colonized, socially raped and oppressed people of Togo. More than any other species, chimpanzees resemble humans - genetically, behaviourally and physically. They provide an important link to our evolutionary history, et their numbers have plummeted and the species faces imminent extinction. At the beginning of the 20th century there were between one and two million chimpanzees living in 25 African countries. Today only 150,000 are thought to remain. Those 3 or 4 Chimp heads in one photo represent .03% of the entire population- yet the 10 dead Chimpanzee traders that should be shot for their crimes only represent .0000001% of the human population! I rated some of your photos 5/5- and I would rate the blog 6/5 if I could, very informative. Great post, the most real travelblog Ive seen so far!!