Malawi - The definition of Banana Republic

---

Hello everyone,



I hope you are all well and that the dreaded month of January has not proved too difficult.



Sorry it has been so long since my last post, Malawian internet is both rare and pretty expensive so doing blogs and such like can take a long time. In fact everything in Malawi takes time, I spent a whole day on buses just get to a working ATM machine.



I am also sorry if I have not replied to any of your messages. I have read them now and will reply soon. You know I appreciate them so.



My New Year got off to a bit of a disastrous start, I managed to pick up some sort of food poisoning so my New Years Celebrations were spent, alone, in bed, with a bucket of vomit for company. Booo



I was alone apart for a few minutes in the night when some local ruffian climbed up my balcony, crept in to my room while I asleep and stole all my stuff, bags, watch, camera, the lot. They even took my old muddy sandals because in a country like Malawi, everything, and I mean everything, has a value. This was illustrated when, a week later my replacement sandals were stolen from outside my room. Two pairs of sandals in a week.



Now, is this a reflection on Malawians as a people? Well it is to a small degree, but you have to understand the levels of desperation in that country at the moment. I guess the temptation to steal from rich Muzungus is too much for some people. It’s the same “they can afford it” mentality that shop lifters and insurance fraudsters have. And to a degree, we can afford it.



Malawi is, by all accounts, a country in crisis. Insane inflation, a crippling fuel shortage and an increasingly devaluating currency. Malawi could be a developed country, there is no structural reason for the poverty, but it is blighted by bad leadership and corruption.



In his wisdom the President decided to buy a private jet for $20,000,000. Now, because Malawi is about as credit worth as Greece, the seller would only accept payment in US Dollars. This cleared the entire economy of US$, which in turn meant that fuel importers could not buy fuel from neighboring countries. No fuel, no imports, no electricity for generators. It’s a mess.



The second consequence purchasing the Jet was a row with the UK Government who suggested that perhaps the money could be spent wiser, the result of the diplomatic spat was a cutting a Aid to Malawi thus further removing US$ from the economy.



So even though Malawi was the definition of a Banana Republic, it was still a charming place. The locals are a very nice bunch and the Lake is stunning, so despite the difficulties I still enjoyed myself. I caught the weekly ferry to a couple of small Islands called Chizamulu and Likoma, the ferry itself was an experience sleeping out on the deck. The islands were for me, the highlight of my time in this country, remote and very relaxed, if you come to Malawi, make sure you visit them.



I have now left Malawi and have headed straight to Johannesburg in South Africa via Mozambique and Zimbabwe. Cor and indeed Blimy, the contrast is pretty severe. JoBurg is a modern and, in many places, a very affluent City. There are paved roads…and new cars….and shopping Malls. Malls filled with shops that actually sell things.



In Malawi shops sell things people need, mainly Maize and Washing Powder. In JoBurg the shops sell things people want, there is a difference.



Yesterday I spent ten minutes staring, slack jawed and confused, at a whole aisle in a supermarket dedicated to selling chocolate, hundreds of different types of Chocolate. In Malawi there is no choice, if you walk in to a restaurant you eat what they have, not what you want, and now I am surrounded by restaurants that have huge menus.



I won’t be in JoBurg long, on tuesday I fly to the US of A to visit my Uncle for a couple of weeks. Out of the madness and back to civilization proper.



There are few photos on this post, due to the theft of my camera. I have stolen some pictures from internet, I hope no one minds.



All my love.



John

---

Photos

0001
I noticed this T Shirt for sale in a market. It came from an American school and had been covered with messages of good will from fellow students with marker pen. And now it has found its way here. Everything has a value.

0002
The burglars approach.

0003
And then he shimmied up the balcony post.

0004
I admire his bravery. Especially when he realized I was in the room, he still had the had the courage to take everything.

0006
You can see why I had my balcony door open, a wonderful view to wake up to.

0007
If you like bugs you will love Malawi, it’s like a National Geographic article.

0008
These are called “Scorpion Spiders” and are not poisonous. If you wake up at night, they are crawling around your room very slowly, I still can’t work out what they eat or what they hunt.

0009
The dug out canoe is still the transport of choice for many people. No fuel required which is a good thing as there in no fuel. I had a go, I promise it is much harder than it looks.

0010
The Ilala ferry was still running and is a lifeline for many people in remote areas, like the Islands.

0011
The scrum to get on the ferry, how I didn’t end up with a broken leg I don’t know. A week before a baby had been killed when her mother fell backwards trying to get on the boat.

0012
The ferry is too big to dock at most places, so you have to climb on to the life boats to be taken to the shore. Not so fun at night in rough seas.

0013
Rich westerners like me opt for 1st Class, which means you have access to the top deck. These folks have put up tents, I don’t have a tent so slept out in the open. There is a bar, the Captain was drunk every time I saw him. He crashed the boat in to the dock at Monkey Bay.

0014
This is not Malawi, but I am using it to illustrate the mud. Africans love a bit of mud, and when it rains, like at the moment, it turns in to a nightmare.

0015
JoBurg is a notoriously dangerous City. And every building is surrounded by electric fences with complementary guard dogs.

0016
Private Security firms are doing roaring trade here. When President Zuma was elected in 2009, his election theme song had the chorus “get me my machine gun”, so perhaps there is a fear of Zimbabwean style violence against white folks.

0017
There are lots of fat people here. There are no fat people in Malawi.

0018
There is a huge amount of wealth here too. And the wealthy are not all white are the stereotype would suggest, there are many wealthy black folk too.

0019
But the reality is most black Johannesburgians still live in slums.