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Published: August 13th 2012
It feels so long ago when Shakira's
"Waka waka"started my day -- weeks of getting soaked in African colors and spirit, hoping to get a good placement somewhere in the country of my choice.
And it worked. It has been six months since I got here in Ethiopia, and almost a year since the start of my journey to volunteering in a distant land. The jitters of the unknown, concerns about fulfillment of expectations, and excitement at new things to come are but a faint memory now.
(Partly because it is so far from my vibrant idea of Africa, though that is another story.) Deglamorizing It
Most of us have this romantic idea about volunteering --
share your time and skills, make a difference, save lives. Or, as Heroes' Hiro Nakamura got told,
"save the cheerleader, save the world." Sounds like a glamorous and very virtuous job, right? Change the channel now.
Long-term volunteers leave behind their family, friends, career, lifestyle, and earning opportunities for a shot at positively changing lives. Call it adventurous, impressive, bold, perplexing, or downright insane, but these moves and the life amidst a whole new culture and people, set into motion
phases of emotions that Hollywood movies cannot rival.
Nope, not even Bollywood. Experts may even agree that it is perfect practice for naturally sharpening acting skills.
Let me break each of the phases down to show you why.
1. Excitement phase- that period when you need a pair of shades as everything seems blindingly bright
2. Fear phase - when you have
"what if's" for breakfast, lunch, dinner and the thought of the monster lurking underneath the bed keeps you up at night
3. Shell-shocked phase - when
"THIS is really happening" hits you so hard in the head you end up seeing stars on broad daylight, but with sturdy bomb shields and good shaking, you go back to Earth in no time
4. Sad phase - that period you think you are losing it because Gary V.'s
"Babalik ka rin" is looping in your head
5. Contentment phase - when just seeing how the grasses are now greener makes you smile and escaping to the next town is no longer number 1 on your
"to do" list
6. Happiness phase- when you hear birds
singing although there are no birds and you are sure you are not delusional; once reached, the eagle has landed!
7. Enthusiastic phase- when you feel like you have superpowers and can do anything even without putting on a cape and wearing your undies over pants
8. Angry phase - when
Murphy's Law is the rule, pleasant feelings got drained, and the fridge seems to be the perfect refuge to keep you from hurting yourself and others
9. Frustrated phase - supposed to be a period of enlightenment but you never seem to get the answer to the questions
"What am I doing here?" and
"Why am I doing this?" no matter how you rack your brain
10. Exasperated phase - period of drowning in a jar labeled
"I am tired" and motivation to continue becomes scarce
11. I don't care phase- Need I say more? Move on.
12. Hopeful phase - when it feels like everything will turn out all right despite and in spite of
(hopefully, you will not trip and hit your head on the ground) Whatever the situation is, wherever one gets deployed -- be it in the middle
of the jungle, slums, refugee camps, remote sleepy towns, or bomb-scarred cities -- long-term volunteers can go through this very wide spectrum of emotions over a short span of time
(at least I did and still am) that will leave you wondering how that person is not yet in the looney bin.
When Motivation Comes in Handy
Aside from its sheer nobility, the thought of volunteering to help others is attractive for all sorts of reasons.
Childhood dream. Travel. Better use of spare time. Genuine desire to help others. Gap year. Career break. Help forge world peace. Become the next Miss Universe. Run for senate. Oops, sorry, accidentally pressed on the remote. But the list really goes on. And on. Some are unknowingly self-serving, with self-image enhancement and feeling better being at the top of the list.
Whatever that motivation may be, it has to be long, durable, and be able to withstand persistent tugging when Sanity and Happiness suddenly shorten and you need to hold onto it to keep yourself from falling off the cliff. I am only half way-through my stint but I have tried yanking my motivation string a number of times already.
Yes, there are those days when telling myself
"You've been volunteering for ages, this is no different!" or
"Do not fret, just consider it as long-term travel," just does not seem to suffice. But the beauty of this dizzying ride is that once you reach the bottom, it can and will go back up. It gives you another chance for a whole new experience, depending on how you sit yourself and look at the tracks and the people you are with. You will see that most of the time, you are the one getting more out of it because, for some reason, in those stomach-wrenching moments as it makes unfathomable turns, you discover yourself and see the world in a whole new perspective.
Well, hopefully not because you are sitting upside down. It gives you a deeper understanding of people and their actions, how stuffs work, and why things happened or did not.
For all its goodness and flaws, I do not regret taking this journey. So, I am tightening my seatbelt and readying my scream to enjoy the rest of my roller coaster ride.
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grace b
non-member comment
Courage, gumption and fulfillment
Hi, Doc Hana! Congratulations for being such a courageous volunteer in a course you have not chartered until your mobilization, and for the gumption to continue pursuing your goal/s despite all your challenges. Notwithstanding, you sound absolutely fulfilled as you ride your Ethiopian roller coaster ride. Go, go, go!