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I was fairly deep into trip planning when it dawned on me it could be an issue that I was a female planning to travel through Pakistan alone. Embarrassed this had not crossed my mind earlier, I hesitantly did a little research knowing in the back of my mind I really didn’t care what the bloggers or travel forecasters had to say because I was going on this trip. Tickets were purchased. My itinerary was etched out. And my dreams of finally seeing Pakistan were soaring. What could I really read that would change my mind?
There were articles about women traveling alone in Pakistan, there were blogs by women who traveled alone and there were interviews with women who repeatedly travel to Pakistan alone.
The labels that kept popping up about women traveling alone in Pakistan included the likes of “bad ass chicks,” “bold,” “kick ass” and even “brave.” Oh dear, these are not labels I attach to myself. I definitely don’t have the travel experience that some of these bloggers have who seem to do nothing else but spend their entire life living out of a backpack. And while I aspire to be
a bad ass and come from a long line of bad asses, I am pretty sure no one will etch on my tombstone, “here lies a real bad ass.”
Solo female travelers provided comments such as “traveling in Pakistan can be quite challenging,” “Pakistan is not easy, but definitely not unsafe,” “it is not for the softhearted” and “I would heartily recommend it only to very experienced female travelers.”
Ironically or foolishly I found myself undeterred and just decided I wouldn’t share any of this information with those people who might try to talk me out of traveling.
I mentioned my upcoming trip to a friend who has been to more countries labeled “dangerous” than I can name, has spent his time detained in countries you’d never want to find yourself detained and has experienced the sort of travel that leaves you thinking he really shouldn’t still be alive. I fully expected his adventure seeking and risk taking self to tell me how awesome my trip would be and to have fun. Instead, he simply said “Yeah, it will be interesting. Pakistan’s a country that would make me feel uncomfortable.” Well,
shit. Not exactly what I expected.
It’s probably no surprise what happened next. I said to myself, how bad can it be? I can solve problems should any arrive. I have some resources and know some locals. What’s the worst that can happen? I am going.
And you know what happened next? Nothing really. I traveled Pakistan for three weeks feeling safe, happy I chose the adventure and making plans to return as soon as possible.
Don’t get me wrong, traveling alone as a female in Pakistan is not like traveling in many other countries alone as a female. I would probably agree with those badass bloggers who went before me, it is not for everyone. But I would also contend that there are lots of people who would not enjoy solo travel anywhere.
Pakistan is gritty, it can be a somewhat trying, it’s a little unchartered in a sense and as a white solo woman it is impossible to blend into the crowd. However, Pakistanis know this about their country and their culture and they will bend over backwards to make you feel safe and comfortable.
When I arrived at the Wagah Border Crossing ceremony, easily the most touristy thing I did while in Pakistan, I strolled in like I knew what to do and one of the rangers stopped me, looked around, saw no other persons and asked who I was traveling with. When I said I was alone, his only response were his saucer eyes while he remained frozen in shock for a minute. I had no idea I could have such an effect on a 6 foot 7 inch specimen of a man strapped with a machine gun. Several other rangers scurried over in response to his dismay and shuttled me off to some VIP room in the back to wait until the ceremony started. There was really no explanation for it, but I obliged and enjoyed not sitting in the hot sun for a bit.
Ultimately I got used to restaurant staff reactions when I said I needed a table and they automatically looked for my companions. When I would reiterate that I was looking for a table for one, I swear some of them were asking “can we really do this?” But there were other waiters,
like at the hotel breakfast buffets, who got used to my solo-ness. They would check on me in such endearing ways. “How was your day yesterday M’am?” “How are you feeling today?” “Is everyone treating you well?” They were curious about what I was working on as I ate, my profession and my home.
While my femaleness, my American-ness or my solo-ness made me seem like a real alien being, it did not take much before the Pakistanis I encountered opened their hearts and minds to my unusual situation. I went from being a strange creature to being a human as soon as I talked about my family back home or mentioned that I had always wanted to visit their country or affirmed that I was having a wonderful time in their culture.
A Few Things About Being a Woman Traveling in Pakistan You will be stared at, photographed and approached. Men will look at you as if you are the first woman they have ever laid eyes on. You may stop traffic and you will be provided security whether you want it or not. But you
will never be touched, harassed or put in a situation where you feel you cannot leave. You will be given respect in the old fashioned, refreshing manners sort of way like doors being opened, people standing when you walk in the room, bags being carried and space being given.
You will notice the very formal traditions of insisting you sit in the backseat of the vehicle out of respect, you will constantly be asked if you are comfortable with situations, you will be given the option of whether or not you want to touch anyone, even as simple as shaking hands.
As a woman you will be granted opportunities not available to male travelers and sometimes not even available to other Pakistanis. Males in Pakistan are not allowed to enter the main parts of a house that is not their own home. They must stay in the large sitting room near the foyer that seems to be in every Pakistani home, but females can enter the home, meet everyone in the home and hang out with the women in the main part of the house. Female travelers can also sit in the sitting room
with the men. They can eat with the women in the house or in the sitting room with the men. Being a woman traveler is sort of unexpected freedom.
With all this deferential treatment, there can be a few drawbacks to being the valued gender. There are limitations on which hotels can accept single female travelers. The budget and mid-range hotels are only for males and some hotels really take notice if an unaccompanied female were to stay at their hotel, so budget for staying in top end places. Sometimes this means staying in only the most expensive hotels in each city.
Moving from place to place can take a lot of planning and administrative work in Pakistan which is only amplified as a woman. It is not impossible, it just may take a bit more time and a lot more patience. A lot of the complications arise from the simple fact that the Pakistani government doesn’t want to take any chances when it comes to your safety. I kept reminding myself of this intent each time I began to feel frustration about my hampered freedom.
In some places you will
be assigned a security detail and there really is no way around it. The hotel may not allow you leave without first calling and arranging security for your outing. This layer of safety comes at no charge and the officers I encountered were almost like having a very sweet travel companion who just happens to be armed and wiling to take photos for you.
I am sure there are other solo travelers who have very different experiences while in Pakistan, but I can only comment as to what was served up to me. What I learned was that I will (hopefully) be returning to Pakistan and I will not be packing any trepidation about going at it solo.
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David Brock
non-member comment
Fascinating, Valeri!