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Published: September 23rd 2008
So, picture me now-- I'm at a coffee shop called Kyti Voo-- sipping a latte (that needs some serious sugar) while I hear everything but English conversations-- it's loud (bar loud) and I'm just now sinking in that I'm not in Kansas anymore.
I just landed here yesterday morning. My flight went swimmingly from Cbus to Philly (although I sat beside a 300lbs man who talked to me about sausage for an hour +)-- yes, he was on his way to Munich to go eat as much as possible in the next 72 hours. I've never seen someone's eyes light up like that over the talk of sausage. He was super excited for me about my trip, telling me that I could eat bread and butter and cheese when I went to Paris, and that maybe I could grab some wine and walk around the city eating the entire loaf by the end of the day! Oh, the wonder! (Patrick, remember our, “Yeah, Debby, get that Debby, you’ll love that Debby—same type of guy).
Split to me sitting beside a British couple-- the most adorable couple I've probably ever met-- so happy, so in love, so married for
maybe a few months (this is their second marriage, they have 2 kids each, and life has never been better for them!). She was awesome I got her card and hope to meet up with them when we go to England next week. She told me I reminded her of her son's fiancé-- very pretty and sweet-- she had me at very.
She also told me her daughter is special needs, it was sweet the way she talked about her-- she was super proud of her and she told me that her daughter "oh, so loves to dance, she's quite lovely"-- I def. wanted to cry, but loved to hear about their lovely Stephanie. She also went on to tell me "oh, if she weren't in her situation, she would be like you" ok, enough of the sappy, but she was just beautiful.
On to getting me to Hamburg-- I landed at about midnight my time and (side note, I almost screamed just now, a dog walked over and just starred at me-- turns out he doesn't speak English either, btw) and around 6:30am their time (Manchester time). As I'm saying my goodbyes, to the happy couple, I clearly hear "all transfers must go to the transfer counter". Now, I didn't really set this up for you and if you're still reading, you've kept up well! So rewind back to me leaving Columbus (sausage Joe) and at the counter they told Grant and I they couldn't give me my boarding card for Hamburg because they don't have the Lufsana airline there. I was a little weary-- and they said, just get it when you land in Manchester. One thing I’ve found is if you think something isn’t right, it’s probably not. I didn't question it, Grant seemed fine with it-- which I've now learned if he's keeping calm it's to keep me calm. I should of freaked out a little more...
Ok, so the only proof that I'm supposed to go to Hamburg is that I have a teeny tiny baggage claim sticker that says HAM, you can see it clearly if you squint. I walk up to the transfer desk, and as I'm standing there, an old sleepy, man says "can I help you love"-- I'm like, "yes, Hi, I'm going to Hamburg and"-he interrupts- "where's your boarding card"-me- "um, well, they didn't"--he interrupts yet again "I can't do anything with this, what is this a baggage tag, where is your boarding card” (keep in mind this man has a thick British accent—and is a major wanker) and I try to explain that they couldn't give me a boarding card (apparently, CMH is a fake airport) and that I was to pick it up in Manchester. He looks at me (it's closer to 6:45am now) and says "well, then you must go through customs, and go over the river and through the woods to Terminal 1”. Now, had I of had my boarding card, I would of been able to be taken to the gate through security without a moments pause. He tells me it should "take you 5 mins., I say “5 mins” and he nods and has to throw in “if you listened to my directions, it will take you 5 mins”—You’ll soon see why this man nearly ruined my life. So, here I am at 6:50am waiting in line at customs. My flight leaves at 8:10am. I'm not starting to panic, yet.
So, I had filled out my customs card, but you remember I'm not staying in Manchester so my address blank is blank. I finally make it to the front of the line (it's about 7:03am at this time) and I talk to a man who is cross-eyed in a weird way who is directing people where to go-- I say to him “so, I'm supposed to be going to Hamburg”, without skipping a beat says -- "did you talk to transfers" of course I did I tell him and without skipping another beat says "where's your boarding card" and I'm like, forget it—it’s a bag tag. So I give up and go to the lady at the customs desk I say "hi" and she immediately says "I NEED AN ADDRESS". Yes she's yelling, and I decide to raise my voice back and saying "I'M NOT STAYING HERE"-- then the "did you talk to transfers” comes back up and I just stand there nodding my head and she lets me through. Thank God for customs! As everyone is picking up his or her bags-- I’m headed to terminal 1.
So I don't see signs for terminal 1, but I soon realize it's very far away—I stop a man with a uniform who calls me love and who I can barely understand and he says “it’s that way, far away”. The directions go a little like this- "yah love, you walk past the sign love, take a left-- go through a tunnel love, keep walking-- when it says British snobby cafe, take a right then you go through a corridor love and then take another right love and you'll see, it's really easy—ok love” Right. So by this time it's around 7:10am. I do everything this man says and finally make my way through this British fun house and find Terminal 1. Nothing there makes sense, I don't see any airline I recognize other than Monarch-- so I walk up and I'm explaining my situation to Monarch Air. This girl is confused—she says “where’s your boarding card, this is a bag tag” She insists that I need to go to Terminal 3—that’s where BMI is and that’s the airline I’m supposed to be on, that’s my best bet. Now, this isn't easy easier-- I'm starting to panic a little-- it's around 7:18 at this point (8:10am departure). So now I'm in a BMI line hopping to get a boarding pass and a woman checking passports looks at me and says, "So, you're going to Chicago". Hmmm...it's not a bad idea, I think—but no I’m not. I ask her what line should I be in? She then explains, "you need to go to terminal 1, this is terminal 3." Just before she explains how to get to Terminal 1 I start running…So, I’m back at terminal 1, Monarch Air. They squint at my baggage claim and they say I need to go down a ramp into the basement (where I'm guessing they hope I die) and that Lufsana Air is down there—after reading the bag tag it says “LF” and they realize that’s Lufsana Air-- not BMI.
I run down the ramp by this time it's close to 7:40 now-- and I run past the LFS air and then quickly backup (sometimes I'm speedier than I realize) and there was only 1 person talking to the 1 person at the desk, it's my lucky day. So I patiently wait (while tapping my foot to the beat of "So tired of waiting for you” and he gets the man's bag tagged and right as I'm about to walk up to the desk, he puts up his "I'll be back in 15 mins." Right as he was walking away I yell, "NO! I'm on the Hamburg flight" and he’s shocked back to the desk. He suddenly gets on his stupid computer and types and types-- picture "Meet the Parents". He finds me in there (I guess CMH is a real airport, after all) I get my boarding card and he even gives me the "fastlane" pass. So I RUN up the ramp get to security and the lady says to me "miss, your bag isn't going to fit above—let’s check it” so I try and fit my square peg into the round hole. I'm sweating, about to pass out and it's 7:55am. I look at her and say “I leave at 8:10am” and she's says, “Well your bag won't be going with you”. I seriously hate the Manchester Airport. So I run down the ramp and my guy is "be back in 15mins" so I talk to the fatty next door and the guy must of heard me because he came out (I might have been obnoxious) and checked my bag-- sorry to disrupt your break. I run back up the ramp and the lady tries to get me to go in the slow lane, I shove my card in her face that clearly states "FASTLANE" and she's like, oh...go on love (ugh!). I’ve decided I don’t like to be called love, there’s something hateful about that word.
I rush through security, the guys there love me, I'm wet, wearing white and American frantically throwing off anything that will make me beep—I’m pretty sure I was close to taking off my pants. I make it through beep-free and am running and dressing-- I run through the duty-free shop admiring those who are able to leisurely walk around picking out things to take home with them duty-free—I finally get to gate 6. It's 8:08-- and there's an old man sitting there--- thinking they've already boarded I say "excuse me, is this the Hamburg flight" he says (he might be the oldest man in England) "what love?" I then begin to yell louder "IS THIS THE HAMBURG FLIGHT?" he shakes his head and tells me he can't hear, when a woman behind me says-- "yes, this is the Hamburg flight, we're delayed"....
I MADE THE FLIGHT—Grant was there to greet me—boy was I happy to see him!!!! Hamburg is beautiful! We went to a movie last night that they show in English, with a group of Caterpillar-English-speaking folks. It's funny because the people really get into it, and they clap at different scenes of the movie if they like it—it starts out slow and gets faster until it sounds like a cluster… So, today it's raining...I'm wearing flannel and skinny jeans-- I think I still look like an American girl in Germany, I'm bound and determined to fit in here…more to come, I’ve got to continue this searching for how to get us to Oktoberfest—it’s my assignment for the day! The hotel is really nice, modern and comfy- it’s called Hotel Wedina (pronounced Vedina) Grant is at the boat show—we’re meeting back up later on this afternoon where we will meet up with a couple we know from Chicago, Mark and Mary who are relocating here this Spring. Talk to y’all soon!
Love and Miss,
Alison & Grant
PS: I meet with the International School on Thursday morning at 11am-- hope to figure out what I'll be able to do while I'm here!
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Kathy
non-member comment
Miss you, love!
hi, enjoyed your journal. Bless your heart, Im glad you survived your ordeal and made your flight. I was getting nervous for you. Look forward to the next post. love Kathy