Golden Triangle adventures...

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After lounging by the pool in Pai, we finally decided that we needed to get out. We partied all day and then took the 10pm bus ride from hell towards the northern border and Chiang Rai. Our minivan was full of drunk, pill-popping Brits, who seemed funny at first, but then the moron sitting by the door passed out and everyone was wondering if he was alive. At one point, he lit a cigarette in the van and then prompty passed out; at which point the driver pulled over and everyone took a piss break in the middle of the hairpin turns of the Pai mountains. We got the worst seats in the back, where the luggage towers around you like a Jenga game in its final stages; and your seats don't recline either...lame. Lesson learned--don't sit there. The trip got better when I we stopped at a 7-11 for a bathroom break at 1am. I was hungry so I got an instant soup and went for the hot water dispenser. In my tired haze, I was slow to react as the boiling hot water shot out like a hydrant onto my left hand, instantly scalding off the top few layers. I tried to get a bag to put some ice in to cool my hand, but the employee was too busy laughing at me. I wanted to punch him out. I got my ice and got back on the minibus for 3 more hours of crappy transportation. I should sue 7-11, but it's probably too late now. We got dropped off on the side of this highway in the middle of the night with some sketchy guy on a motorbike who claimed to be a taxi driver. Where's your taxi then, dude? Finally, a 90 year old man comes with an old rusted out truck and we get in the back with a Spanish couple and head down to Chaing Rai. We found a guesthouse after some confusion, and stayed for the night; falling asleep exhausted at 5:30am.

Chaing Rai is a nice city, but definetely not geared toward the budget traveller. Guesthouses are harder to find and more expensive, but they seemed cleaner, which Julija liked. We ate pizza, which is basically heaven when you've been eating curry and rice for month and half. We decided to stick with what we know, so we got a motorbike and went hiking to a waterfall, although Julija didn't care about the waterfall once we got there because she got distracted by a curious migration of termites following the trail for quite a distance. We went to a dive bar for Valentine's Day where a giant Dutch transvestite was singing Rolling Stones and Beatles songs. I went on a short rally on the pool table against the local Brit guys, who quickly determined I was the "cocky American", coming from across the pond to take over their pool hall. Eventually the whole place was jamming out and singing to "Hey Jude" and after a while, I lost the table and we went home. On a cloudy day, we decided to ride up to the Golden Triangle, where Thailand, Laos, and Burma meet. We stopped at Mai Sai along the way and went to the Hall of Opium, which was very impressive and educational. The last part of the huge exhibit is the "crime and punishment" section, where they try to scare the hell out of any tourist who would consider smoking drugs in Thailand. (One room had sirens going with a glass floor with a jail cell and emaciated prisoners underneath it.) Pretty funny, but scary too. The ride back was intense and I think it was the acrid smoke from the rural people burning garbage along the highway that gave me a major migraine headache that night. We left the next morning to Nan, with my head still throbbing.

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Comments

[Roger Heine]

Sweet Transvestite
That sweet Dutch transvestite made your night! Now all you need is to bring back that crazy rooster in the tree that kept you up all night. I think the transvestite would win that battle.