Still On The Road

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Hi there bloggos

If you read my most recent blog, you'll know that I left the story in a true cliffhanger situation. I was in a raft with my English pal Nick and a bunch of Danes about to drop down a 20 foot waterfall. There was no guarantee that the raft wouldn't flip over when we got to the bottom. Further up the river, we had practised the drill. When the guide shouted , we had to leap into our "waterfall" positions. This invovled clinging hold of various ropes and trying not to let go of your oar.

We passed the final point where people who were really freaking out and couldn't face it could take the final exit path. This path is known as the Aussie Run. The guide instructed us to row with all our might to the top of the waterfall. The gushing water was getting louder and louder. The Viking inspired Danes were rowing with all their might. Me and Nick were ready at the rear of the raft. We were almost at the top. I now realised why Nick had brought brown swimming shorts with him. The guide gave the call and we assumed the position. We blasted off from the top of the waterfall like a spaceship. In a flash, we were down the fall and submerged completely under the river. As we re-emerged after a couple of seconds, the raft began to tip to one side. Oh-ho. The weight in the raft was not balanced. We continue to tip until we were almost at ninety degrees to the river. Another couple of degrees and were going over. Somehow, the raft corrected itself and we made a gushing splash as the raft returned to its normal position. We had survived without capsizing. The guide led us all in a Maori chant. I know it's a cliche but it really was a huge adrenalin rush. After the waterfall, we passed down a few more rapids and completed the epic journey. We retired to the bar for some well earned beers.

On our final day in Rotorua, we visited the Maori thermal village of Whakarewarewa. It's known as Whaka (pronouned "Fukka" - no lie) for short. I was expecting a mostly touristy attraction but was amazed to find that it was actually a village where people lived. The village is on a thermal reserve meaning that boiling hot pools of water and mud are dotted everywhere. Some of the water pools contained cooking pots where that evening's meals were slowly simmering away. The guide told us that none of the cottages contained baths or showers. Instead, the villagers would top up one of the boiling pools with some cold water before dipping in and taking the ultimate nature bath - once all the tourists had left for the day!

As for the famous smell in Rotorua, yes, there is a strong smell of sulphur from time to time. I didn't think it was all that bad but bear in mind I was sharing a room with Nick at the time. (No offence Nick!)

After Rotorua, it was on to Taupo, home of New Zealand's largest lake. Again, we were blessed with good weather. The lack of wind meant that the lake had a beautiful glass-like quality to it. There was only one thing for it. Me and Nick would have to try out a trip on the lake for ourselves. We visited the wharf and checked out a whole myriad of seafaring vessels. All looked similar and we were having difficulty choosing until we read about the history of a yacht known as "The Barbary". Apparently, this splendid vessel was once owned by none other than Errol Flynn. We instantly knew that there was no other choice for a couple of swashbuckling buccaneers like ourselves. On board Errol Flynn's old yacht we fared. I'd like to tell you that we spent the journey out onto Lake Taupo in the yacht's hot tub, smoking enormous cigars and surrounded by bikini clad beauties - just like Errol would have been. The reality was a cup of coffee, a ginger biscuit and a chat with a pleasant couple from Queensland. Wait until I get my own yacht......

The only other notable point to report from Taupo was a bemusingly high number of hen nights out on our Saturday night out. There was a fancy dress crowd, a hen night of athletic looking girls from some kind of local netball team and a more mature hen party with at least three members who bore more than a passing resemblance to Vera Duckworth. Guess which group we ended up chatting to?

After Taupo, it was another scenic bus journey through the forest to the coastal area of Hawke's Bay and the town of Napier. You have probably heard of Hawke's Bay because of its wine. The town of Napier was almost completely destroyed by an eartquake in 1931. The town's hardy inhabitants rebuilt the city and it is now famus for its art deco architecture. Neither me nor Nick were entirely sure what "art deco" was until we arrived there. To make it easier for non-architects, we have renamed "art deco" as "Jeeves & Wooster buildings". It must have been a great place to be in the 30s loafing around, promenading around the beach front, perhaps taking in a show at the theatre before heading off to a gentleman's club to throw bread rolls at each other. Me and Nick thought about re-creating those days. Perhaps we could hire dinner suits and act as toffs and generally jape around the town centre. We thought about it briefly before deciding "nah" and went for a pint or two instead.

Next time - find out why on earth we want to visit Palmerston North, discover what the Cake Tin is and I'll tell you the amusing story of Nick and the freak gust of wind.

Great to receive more messages from people back home lately. Hope you're all fine and dandy and there'll be more stories soon.

Joff

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Comments

[Trinder]

Fukka
Those kiwis certainly have a sense of humour - must have seen you coming a mile off! Anyway, sounds like you are having a great time - all this outdoors stuff makes up for the last 15 years of sitting (without the thinking). It's a bit difficult to know what to say in response to your blogs because unlike you I am still here doing exactly what I was doing when you left. It's not as if I can tell you anything you don't know. I could tell you the weather is good today but will be getting bad in time for the bank holiday, but you can see that for yourself on t'internet. I could also talk about the champions league or my trip to Wembley but you probably saw all that on TV anyway. When I were a lad email was new and internet cafes were few and far between - in those days they were powered by steam engines or little local people on bicycles. Anyway, enjoy the rest of the trip to NZ - there are billions of kiwis round here, you could have just got a job here, got in the lift with them, farted and you would have been right back there in Fukka. Cheers Trinder