20yo Sheltered Student Travelling to London...needs advice and reassurance.

I want to try and answer this one as it seems to be a genuine question from someone in need of reassurance. I must admit that I’m struggling to empathise with your situation and fears, Hope, as my upbringing, indeed my life, has been far from sheltered. I believe fear of the unknown and an overprotective mentality can become endemic amongst any group of people that live in a closed society or environment. You did not say where you are from but I would guess that you are not from a large US city? It sounds to me that you are not seeking confirmation of suspected truths in your post, but rather desperate for someone to dispel your mothers, and consequently it seems, your own, ingrained suspicions about that which exists beyond your well controlled borders.

Foreign travel is, by its definition, a new experience but one that, embraced with passion, planning and most importantly a freedom of spirit can only enrich ones understanding of the world and, by extrapolation, oneself. You say you have a passion for foreign cultures? This is indeed a good thing and a great place to start, but now you need to couple that bookish enthusiasm with some real world action. Take the plunge, skip across the pond and throw yourself into a world that, although similar to your own, will seem magical and unreal, colourful, vibrant, strange, enticing and odd to a first time traveller such as yourself.


If, like so many before you, this addictive first hit of the new changes your perspective and skews your previously held convictions about the world then good, this is a healthy addiction, and one that seems to keep giving more, no matter how many more hits you take. If you truly desire to be a travel writer then, as you say, you need to broaden your horizons and cut the ties that bind. From what you say your mothers protective stance is holding you back but, reading between the lines, it seems to me that you’re perhaps using her maternal instincts as an excuse. If you really want this, if travel and a career in the travel industry is really your dream, then book the ticket, pack your bags, reassure your mum and leave.

As regards your mothers (and more, I believe, your) need for reassurance, I would say only this: foreign countries and cities look so much worse viewed through the distorted lens of the media. Positive news is rarely reported in the media about one’s own country in one’s own country, even at the provincial level, so to expect anything but the worst news from England filtering back across the pond is just ridiculous! If I were to make my judgements of America and Americans based purely on what I see on telly then I’d never consider visiting that country in a million years. Likewise, if all users of Travelblog were to always follow their government’s advice on countries to avoid when travelling then the blogs would come from but a handful of countries.

What I’m trying to say is that if you really want to travel, if writing about new countries, cultures and places is truly your life’s ambition then you have to turn a deaf ear to all the doubters, a blind eye to all those waving their arms in admonition of your desires and simply get out there and do it. Crime figures be damned, overbearing mothers placated and your own fears doused; pull on your pack, step off the plane and I guarantee you you’ll never look back.
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Hey Amanda 😊

I'm a frequent solo-female-traveler myself, and have found many people (though not my mother) who have not traveled much eager to discourage my adventures and flying solo by instilling fear and doubt. Don't listen. Remember to think about where the information you get is coming from, and what motives the giver may have. You're mom is, I presume, just terrified to have her baby girl going overseas away from her protection. It's a scary thing for a parent to lose the ability to protect and watch over their children every day. My mom struggled with it a bit (though she'd never say until years later) when I first moved to Germany. She wants you to be aware of all the dangers, because that's all she can think about as you prepare to leave her.

By not drinking or doing drugs, you're already going to be safer traveling abroad, especially as a female. Just remember as you make new friends and enjoy your new found sense of freedom you keep your head on straight about those things. It can be easy to end up drunk, drugged, lost, arrested, raped, robbed, and in a really bad position if you start down a road you're not familiar with in a country you're also new to. Not trying to scare you, but many Americans under 21 get off to a bad start in countries with lower drinking ages and different attitudes towards alcohol, and put themselves in compromising situations. Just be smart.

As long as you use basic traveler-common-sense, which you might not know being new to this... Things like: keep your passport in an inside zipper pocket in your purse or bag, watch your belongings extra careful in crowds and on public transport, don't get drunk, don't accept drinks (even a Coke or juice) from strangers, carry a padlock when backpacking or taking overnight trains to secure your belongings (or sleep on top of them as I often do), don't wear expensive or flashy jewelry, and many more basics. Read up on the local scams and stuff before going anywhere new. I recommend taking a Lonely Plant guide with you, as it has so much great information (on scams, history, sites, hotels, etc.).

You need to know the worst things that could happen, even though they probably won't, so that you can defend yourself from bad situations. I have always read up on scams and new crime rings of countries (especially the developing ones) before I go. I have never have any problems or been victimized, but that is probably due to the fact that I can defend against being a victim through prepation. By knowing the warning signs, the scams, and how to not look like a target, I have never been one.

People have generally surprised me on my travels, with so many offering kindness and help to a total stranger. There really are more good people out there than bad. As a new traveler though, it just might take you a little time to figure out how to tell the difference. So have a little faith in your fellow travelers, but never so much it could put you in a bad position.

Safe and happy travels. I hope you find the experience you desire 😊 Feel free to message me if you have any specific questions on better preparation for your first time abroad.

~Elizabeth Reply to this

I agree with everything said already so can't really add anything new. I have an over-protective mother as well, she sent me on my first trip to Cuba with a girlfriend for a week and stressted the entire time I was gone. Since then I have been to southeast asia twice, once four years ago for four months, and again this time, been away for three months and will be away for over a year.

The best thing for yourself and your mom is to just get out there and do it. I have never been to Europe or the UK so I can't give advice on that front, although I think the danger level would be much the same as any western city, it happens, not as much as the news shows, but there are way more amazing and friendly people around than bad guys.

My mom learned how to use skype and got good at emailing so she contacts me quite a bit that way, the first time I was away for a length of time she tried to get in touch everyday, not a bad thing, but she got a bit worried if I didn't respond for a few days. She's gotten much better now, still emails me and calls on skype once a day or so, but I find her relaxing more and more as I am away for greater lenghts of time and she can see that I am happy safe and healthy. Blogging is also a great way for your mom to see that your fine (pictures and videos of your travels) and that you are happy doing what your doing. I think the most important thing for a parent is to see that their child is safe and happy, it takes awhile for them to get used to your not being right there with them and to realize that they don't need to take care of you like when you were younger, but it does come. Just give it time, and be patient.


Happy travels, the hardest part is making up your mind!! just go out there and do it!!

Kristy

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Hey Amanda,

I think I have another small piece of information that might reassure you 😊 Years ago, I was an exchange student myself (from Germany to the US) and have since met so many others. For a while I even worked in an office at a university that organized semesters abroad for US students.

One thing I have learned and heard from so many other exchange students is that you are never truly alone. Most universities take extremely good care of their exchange students and more likely than not you will find yourself surrounded by other exchange students a lot. Most universities organize ways for them to get together, seminars, etc. And even if that is not the case, you will quickly meet other exchange students who are in the same situation you are in: alone in a country where you don't have any friends (yet). And that makes people stick together and is sort of your built-in support group 😉 That's why I also wouldn't worry about other trips you are planning on taken while in London. Chances are you'll find many other travel-willing exchange students who want to explore the country/continent with you.

Now go and have fun! 😊
Sabrina

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I travelled solo (female) for a year around the world and didn't have any bad experience. Quite opposite! Some advice for backpackers and travelblog from RTW is here: <snip> Reply to this