Female travelers in India

I think cultural is way too flattering a way to describe sexual harassment and assault

Right!! but this applies in equal measure to men all over the world...including your home country...What we must try to do here is to resolve problems rather than engage in a serial blame game..... Reply to this

Well! it seems I have been read out of context..... I have never blamed anyone not Indians and not any foreigners ... " I said I am sympathetic to those who had a traumatic or bad experience in India"..... and my humble suggestion here is and I am saying it for the last time.....let's resolve problems instead of endlessly arguing over something which wont get resolved by arguing ......Should you need any information or if any one needs any info on India .... please post it here and I am certain one of the discerning Indian will give you an appropriate answer.....

As responsible Indian I would want all the visitors to be safe and to enjoy their holidays .....coz India is one of the most beautiful and exciting countries with its history, culture, mountains, beaches, bazaars, food, clothes, diversity, spirituality, industry, ..and People ....men included .......... there is not a country in the world which matches half of these attractions....

I will say "period" to this argument.... it was good talking to you ....by the way I hope there is some trustworthy information available about Dubai. on this blog .. want to travel to Dubai this year in September......
Reply to this

...there is not a country in the world which matches half of these attractions....
Really?

YUP!!!! Absolutely.....
Reply to this

I think there have been some misunderstandings about the point of why I started this post in the first place. Firstly let me say I wasn’t trying to make indian men out to be ogres that prey on women all the time! I was simply stating the reality of my experience in India. I think that western women have an especially hard time, particularly on transport, when having to wait in queues for anything or in public places - a harder time than in most other countries. I have been travelling in MANY countries (including neighbouring countries of India) and have never had so many bad experiences in such a short space of time. I didn’t change my behaviour or dress code when in India (I was quite conservative).
To give you an idea and clarify the sort of experiences I am talking about
1. I woke up on a train to find a man trying to climb on top of me and groping me.
2. I was groped on several train journeys, ticket queues in station
3. On the way back to the train station from a shop I was grabbed by a man who tried to pull me into an alley. I broke away from him and was shouting and screaming at the same time - I dread to think what would have happened.
3. I was surrounded by a group of men on my way to the taxi queue outside the station. They formed a tight circle around me and started shouting and jeering at me and threatening me
4. I booked into a hotel, while my male partner was in the lobby sorting out the luggage the hotelier tried to force his way into my room and asked me to have sex with him - while my male partner was downstairs!! I’m not sure what response he expected but he got pushed out and a door firmly slammed in his face.
5. A tuk tuk driver starting groping me while driving - he reached his arm around the back and grabbed my leg.
I could go on..... I was never raped in the conventional sense of the word but I’ve never been so continually on edge and humiliated. This was all in just 2 and a half weeks! Should I also restate at this point that I wasn't wearing revealing clothes, talking/flirting with strangers, accepting food from strangers etc. etc. I'm quite a streetwise traveller.
This is why I wrote the post to try and avoid it happening again. I would love to go back to India but right now I think I would really only go and visit the north (Leh) again as it was the only place where nothing happened and I managed to relax. I really felt this was a shame and was looking for useful advice and maybe some constructive conversation and a little insight from Indian men/women.
Manishk - thank you for the tips for women travelling in India and thank you to other Indians who have responded but please do not be offended by western women stating their experiences.
I especially agree with the tip - k)Take your cue from the local women. As a rule, if they do not sit in cafés alone or wear sleeveless dresses, neither should you.
I try as much as I can to look at how women in the country I’m in behave towards men to see how my actions will be interpreted. Unfortunately I think one of the big issues is that local women do not have white skin - and if you want to avoid hassle then neither should you! Kind of a difficult one to do anything about!
My own personal feeling is that it has a lot to do with media and that some Indian men genuinely think it is ok to do these things to a western woman and it is not offensive in the same way as it would be to an Indian woman. It’s good to hear the government have started educational programmes on this. I think it’s a 2 way thing though and one thing I’ve taken away from this is that western women also have a responsiblity to educate when they are abroad and be much more vocal by letting the man involved know that it’s really not ok to do these things rather than just putting up with it.
Manishk - I agree with you that India is a fantastic place - it’s unique in the world in what it has to offer the tourist. That’s why I still want to go back despite these experiences. I loved the food, the music (I took tabla lessons), the people (except for the odd one or two!), the many religions, languages, colourful and vibrant ways of life.
Reply to this

@womantraveller, ....it's indeed unfortunate that you met with such an experience and though i feel ashamed of what happened to you, I cant reverse history .. but definitely together we can change things for others and even you all when you visit India again.....What I would like you to share is ..

1) what class were you travelling in the train.....In general on a budget travel if you travel in the 2nd sleeper class as it is commonly known in India ..then such things could be avoided as there are lot of people around...if you travel in AC coaches the 3rd AC coaches should be safer for women travelling alone.. as there are no curtains in the 3rd AC coaches.. but avoid travelling by 1st AC or wherever in trains there are compartments...Many Indian women travel this way to avoid such hassles and if any one engages in such shameless act please do not hesitate to raise an alarm.... generally in the night time there is railway police on patrol who can help and even people around in the coach .. some of whom should help

2) Avoid reaching a new destimation or even a known destination after 7 or latest 8 pm depends on the city you are travelling to.. if the city is a metro city 8 pm should be fine.. but if it happens to be a smaller town then 6 pm or latest 7 pm should be good..

3)THE BEst time to reach a destination is around 8 am in the morning when most of the cities are wide awake in India and it is relatively safer for women travelling alone....

4)in railway queues at many places women have separate queues... try to find if there is such a facility at the station...further if you are travelling in the AC coaches, then you can jump the queue depending on how many people are buying the tickets for the generall class....this will minimise your stay in the queue...which anyways isnt any fun...

5)Areas around the station in any city are best avoided ..... and if you cant avoid these areas then do not travel on foot after 7 pm ... not alone....you should have an escort from the hotel or someone reliable to escort you... in case you cant trust someone who is an Indian... ask a male foreigner staying at the same hotel or whom you have had contact with.. to help you ... this is specifically applicable for areas around the station whether it is Delhi or Mumbai or any other city.....these areas are cheap but these are not the only places were budget hotels exist...find out more relaiable budget hotels in the city..

6) In India outside the station , generally there are taxiwalahs who want to book you as a passenger.. and many times they surround and present a sales pitch to every one and not necessarily to a woman traveller... what you should do is to ask them in loud and clear voice to back off.... and move to a paid taxi zone.. catch all your taxis from the paid taxi zones.. .. most of the tourist cities have a prepaid taxi service which is reliable and considered to be safer alternative DONT trust a tout who is asking you to drop off to some hotel which is cheap..

7) Before reaching a desitination you should be clear that you have an address and ask the hotel walah to arrange for a pick up.... the hotel walah could arrnage for a pick up whichcould also be a safer alternative..

8) What did you do when someone tried to barge in to your room .. make a fuss about it.. ask for the manager of the hotel and tell him that you would write a poor feedback about the hotel on the internet and ask him in no uncertain terms that you would like action to be taken against the concerned person and make it a point to report about the incident to the authorities ...I shall come back to you on whom to report in such an event...local police may not be of much use... just give me a couple of days and I shall come back to you on this..

9)You travelled on a tuk tuk.. I should not generalise... but these tuk tuks should not be trusted while travelling alone.... even an Indian woman would not use a tuk tuk to travel back alone....

On the whole if I am not wrong, most of these things would happen in the areas around the station of any city.. though there is no such rule... but be extremely careful around the station and bus stands in India.. these are generally populated with uneducated people of the city, some of them would be uncouthe.... thought not all of them would mean harm... but it could be more than an unnerving experience for some one new to it....I hope these precautions should help ..( to be cond......)


2) Reply to this

Thanks for the tips. During my time in India I wa travelling with a male travel companion, which is why it was all the more shocking to me.

Unfortunately, I think the harassment problem in India is bigger than a few tips and tricks for tourists can solve. For sure, it is wise to not do anything that will provoke it, but just about everybody who visits India both women and men complain of that constant unwanted attention. You did nothing wrong and even if you did not have a male companion, it would not mean you did something wrong. It is your body to grant the men you choose priviledges to. Any man who touches you, without a clear invitation(and this would not include being Western or what you are wearing) is doing something wrong. People can talk all they want about Western women and respecting the culture, but as far as I am concerned it is your body and that is the bottom line.

And you should not need to make a fuss or do anything at all. These gropings should not be happening. If anyone says that you should have done this or that in a situation where you were stressed and/or scared then they are being judgemental.

But, are you sure you want to return to India that much? There are so many countries to choose from. I am going there in May again, but if the stuff you describe happens to me on any kind of regular basis, it will be the last time. I got no more than verbal harassment last time I was there alone. Reply to this

................the first words to be spoken are about what she was wearing or how she invited it.

It used to be like that here in Europe around 20 years ago. Now it is considered an ignorant way to think. I am going to be 40 this year, so I remember a bit about the old days here. It took years of years of educating the police and the public in general to change that old attitude. It really is illogical to blame women for these things, but historically speaking we have been and still are in many ways an easy target for blame because of having less power and wealth than men did and still do even if things are slowly changing. These days attitudes are changing with more womens groups speaking up. Thank goodness for them.

When I was in India alone 12 years ago, I was in Mumbai. Indians often say that Mumbai and the South is more sophisticated, and so this pawing of women is a lot less likely to happen. Maybe that is why I had it easier than you did.

I hope you have a great time when you return to India and I really hope you don't have any of my unfortunate experiences.

I will likely have the experience I had in India the last 2 times I was there. I will love it and hate it at the same time. It is that type of place. There really is no place in the world like it. 😊 Reply to this

I deleted 3 more posts because they were inflammatory.

I am locking this thread, as I think it has run its course anyway. Feel free to discuss this topic again in other threads.

Mel Reply to this