Female travelers in India

Better ask help to men, Women may bit shy to help in some troubled situation. I am from Kerala in south India, I am very pleased to give Informations which I know to those who like to visit Kerala Reply to this

Thanks Paulvonline and Rohit. It's good to get some positive feedback and to hear the opinion of Indian men. I agree about women being shy - I don't think a woman is going to make a big fuss and start shouting at guy she doesn't know.

I would be interested to know from the Indian guys who are posting here - what do you think is the best way to ask for help? I've heard some people say start making as much noise as possible and screaming etc. - I can't help but think things could get blown out of proportion if I did this though. Do you have any suggestions?

Maybe the answer is to stop being so stingy! Next time I go to India I will save up more money and actually buy first class tickets - I travelled one time on first class on a train to Shimla and it was excellent, I sat near a family who were so friendly it was like a breath of fresh air! Reply to this

In India railway is the cheapest mode of transport, Always travel in AC coaches, its not that expensive,else during day time you can take a ticket in 2nd class sleeper coaches with out reserving the seat, which is very cheap, never ever travel in general coaches, which is only 1 or 2 in number and that is very croweded also(which will kill your travel comfort) For shortest travel choose bus that is not crowded, Hiring a taxi is also a best option for short travel(charges are per Kilo Meter, check the charges with them).For some trains "Thalkal Reservation"(Emergency reservation) is available, which you can book on the day of travel if you find the seats are filled(it is less in number) Reply to this

I went Hampi to Bangalore overnight. I travelled 3A/C which was fine - I was on my own, and I had my bunk next to an Indian family who insisted on sharing their dinner with me! It was great. Probably there'll be a lot of other travellers on your train as it's a popular route, and you'll probably find yourself put in a carriage with other travellers which always makes you feel better. Also - not to sound class-ist or anything, but it's just true: Bangalore is more wealthy than most other parts of India, so the types of people (men, I'm presuming is in your mind) you'll be likely to encounter on the train will probably be more respectful of you as western women.

About the lesbian issue - I wouldn't really know, but I wouldn't think there's much chance of it being discovered. For a start, in India, men hang out with men, and women with women, so nothing looks strange about that. Also most guest house rooms will have two beds placed right next to each other anyway, sometimes it's one big bed with two single mattresses on it. some places I went, there was just a double bed, and guest house owners thought it reasonable that myself, and whichever travel companion I was with at the time, would just share it.

My speculation is also that if you were a male gay couple, that would be more likely to attract judgement/hostility whatever; homosexuality, like all sexuality in India, is very repressed.
Western heterosexual couples who travel to India would follow the etiquette of not displaying affection in public in the same way that they would at home, because it's just not the done thing in India, and it'll be the same for you - if you're not 'flaunting it' (your words not mine!), then there's little chance people would ever realise. You will of course get lots of questions eg from rickshaw drivers and lots of other people you'll meet about whether or not you have boyfriends or are married - these questions are par for the course. I guess you'll decide how to answer them with each person! I always said I was married or was on my way to meet my boyfriend, (though I wasn't!), only because it's often the safest and best response to make.

to be honest: I wouldn't worry. Just have a good time! 😊 Reply to this

I also received a message from an indian woman about my post recently and she stated that we can be sure that it's not just western women that have this problem. She said it's just part of public transport and it's best to find a female only compartment. It's funny you mention that Mel because she also said that pins can come in handy! So I guess I just feel sorry for local Indian women now because at least I have the choice about not travelling there! Reply to this

I deleted one post. Please keep posts on topic. Reply to this

Hello Manish 😊

If we had do pay 60 to 100 dollars for accomodation every night for a six month trip around India, that would create yet another problem. Then add on expensive tours to get us around safely and India would probably be the most expensive place to backpack in the world. And if it was like that then no backpackers would go because all this would ruin the backpacking experience for them. Many of them feel it is important to travel independently.

Mel Reply to this

@Mell , fair enough , then maybe I should start by asking , what is the average budget and time that you are looking forward to spending in India? Reply to this

manishk - whilst I appreciate your suggestion about staying in nicer hotels, I have to say that I agree with Mell that for most of us, these kind of prices are just not realistic for a holiday. The problem is one of trying to find a happy medium between experiencing the real India (and thus not staying tucked away in some luxury hotel room with room service!) but at the same time avoiding the potential hassle that comes with slightly more affordable options. It seems that some Indian men who have read my post may have taken offence but let me just clear up that I'm definitely not saying that all Indian men are like this, or trying to make any generalisations. As I said before I have met very nice, kind and polite Indian men. Nevertheless it is true that I had this experience in India, that I'm not the only one, and let me re-state that I wasn't wearing "revealing clothes" such as "minis", nor was I taking food from strangers or casually taking to unknown men. Here-in lies the issue - despite taking all these precautions, being a lot less outgoing and friendly, wearing modest clothing and generally keeping myself to myself, I still got continuously harassed - and I really don't think this particularly kind of harrassment applies in equal measure to men and women!

I do agree though that we need more information about the subtelties of Indian culture to avoid these situations. Maybe there are social signals and cues that we give off as western women that we are completely unaware of (I'm not talking about what we would view as openly flirting or anything like that). GAURAV007JAIN you state that it is because of our lack of understanding (which I think is true), so maybe you could give your opinion on the sorts of things that cause this. It would be interesting to hear more about what sorts of things we can do to avoid these misunderstandings (hopefully without the stereotypes of western women wearing mini skirts!)


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I think you might be right Verghis. The media probably has a lot to do with it. It has the same effect on us in the West with giving us unrealistic expectations. Reply to this