update from Carorita

Update from Carorita

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Hello all! I hope this email finds everyone happy and healthy! Things here in Carorita have been a little rough recently. After my first blog, we found out that my godmother Auxiliadora was pregnant. Just last week, however, three months pregnant, she miscarried. For the 3 or so weeks before the miscarriage, she had already been on bedrest, so the household has been out of whack for a while now. Fortunately, she and Francisco have been recovering well, and things here at home are starting to get back to normal. I must say I learned a lot about the healthcare system here through this experience. It is absolutely amazing to see the results of free healthcare - poor people who need medical attention can actually get it. The health mission seeks out poor communities and expensive operations take place for people with no money to pay for it. That said, however, the actual medical experience can be extremely different than what I have experienced working in the hospital in the States. We were in the waiting room of a government hospital with women who were literally going into labor in the waiting room chairs, and the nurses still would not let them through the doors to the delivery room. Every time the delivery room doors would open, to actually be let through, the woman would rush to the door before it closed, begging and groaning to be let through. In my godmother's case, she had been given a pill in a clinic to expel the fetus and then sent to the hospital where she was not given a room until she stood up and expelled right there in the middle of the waiting room. After she was actually given a room at 9 o'clock in the evening, she was not allowed to have any visitors until 4 o'clock the next day. Furthermore, the only information we were given about her all night and the next morning was that she had come out of everything fine, and they weren't sure when she would get a room or when they would discharge her. Francisco and Yuderly stayed in the hospital, or should I say, NEXT to the hospital, because there is no overnight waiting room. Needless to say, the experience was enlightening, and particularly so for me as I am going to study political and economic development.

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The community as well is sad today because yesterday evening there was a car accident here in the fields. A truck hauling cabbage had several men riding on the back, but it was overloaded and tipped over and rolled down a hill of the fields in the part of the community called, La Esperanza, or The Hope. One man, about 30 or so, was killed, and the other 2 were sent to hospital with some minor injuries. A friend of mine and I found out at about 7:30, and with the rest of the community, headed straight to La Esperanza. It took the fire trucks and ambulance over 4 hours to arrive, and I'm not even sure what time his body was finally removed. I had always seen this man in the community, but was only formally introduced to him about 2 weeks ago when I visited his home. As with many people here, I only knew him by his nickname, La Cierra. Carorita was dead quiet as my friend and I walked to La Esperanza last night. No one was out on the streets because everyone else was already at the scene. Arriving at the entrance to La Esperanza and seeing most of Carorita gathered there was truly nauseating. Today everyone will make visits to La Cierra's house. A funeral is one experience I have not had thus far in Venezuela, and I can't say that I'm looking forward to it. There will be nine nights of prayer in the family’s home, according to their traditions here.

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As far as my work here in Carorita, I've been continuing my English classes on the weekends now, because my students are in school during the week. I've started computer and typing classes which are going great. It's amazing to see how fast kids pick things up! At the same time, it makes me a little sad because it's proof that all people need are opportunities. And sometimes, in some places, the opportunities just aren't available. We also started back up weekly youth group meetings last week, and it's good to see the youth unite outside of work and school. The Bible text we studied was from Matthew when Jesus feeds the four thousand. In our interpretation, we discussed the miracles that can take place when people share. Before coming to Venezuela, I had always thought of the passage as, Oh, look what amazing things Jesus can do. But I have come to realize, rather, it’s, oh, look what amazing things people can do when they share in solidarity. As we were talking, we asked, what would have happened if the people hadn’t shared? The kids responded, well, only 10 or so of them would have eaten, and the rest would have gone hungry. One youth shared an example that was particularly enlightening, and also highlights an interesting Venezuelan custom that we don’t have in the States. His example was this: if I’m at school with a group of 10 of my friends, and I have a slice of bread in my pocket, I can’t take it out, because I don’t have enough for everyone. Or if I have a six pack of gum, it’s the same thing; I can’t eat a piece myself, because I don’t have enough for everyone. But, several others are probably in the same situation, maybe a few others have a piece of bread or gum in their pocket, and if we all take our food out, we have enough for everyone, even for those who haven’t brought anything. That’s the miracle of sharing. And he’s right, what a wonderful example. Upon thinking further, I realized this example isn’t as applicable in the States. If I have my piece of bread, I take it out and eat it in front of everyone. If I’m at the football game and I’m going to buy a soda, but my friends aren’t, I drink my soda. There may be an occasion when I offer some to the friend next to me, but here in Venezuela, culturally, it is very rude not to offer to everyone around you that you know every time you are going to eat or drink anything. If it’s a hot day, and I buy a soda, my 5 friends and I share it. I might only get a couple sips, which doesn’t help too much with the heat, but at least everyone gets some. That’s how the poor live here - permanent sharing.

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This passage from Matthew has become so real to me since living here in Venezuela. Why, then, had I always heard it interpreted as a miracle that Jesus performed? That Jesus just snapped his fingers and the bread went further and the fishes, too? I am coming to understand where this interpretation comes from. Basically, this interpretation is a lot more comfortable. Reading the passage this way, I don’t ACTUALLY have to CHANGE anything about the way I live. I can just sit back on my heaping pile of bread and fish and have faith that Jesus will provide for all. Well, obviously the world doesn’t quite work that way because there are so many who aren’t provided for even though there are a lot of people with faith. And that’s what it comes down to - there are too many people with faith that waits for Jesus to perform the miracle rather than people with faith to make the miracle happen.

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As each day passes, I find that I change more and more. I’m no longer completely gringa, no longer completely American; I’m now also part Venezuelan. And at times, this is the most frustrating and uncomfortable feeling I have come to know, because I end up feeling like I’m not a very good American, and I’m not a very good Venezuelan… that I’m just mediocre at being both. I learn more about the world, and I end up actually understanding less; all my experiences here make my life more complicated and less comfortable. And gracias a Dios, thank the Lord, I have come to realize that complicated and uncomfortable is just the place where I need to be. Whose faith grows when they’re comfortable on the couch, anyway?

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