Leaving On A Jet Plane

26.08.08 Leaving on a jet plane
Fading memories of jaded final farewells. Seeing my mother´s tears for only the second time. A weekend spent getting high does´nt necessarily help you fly!

27.08.08 Lima-Miraflores-Barranca
Recovered in a hostel sent from heaven, aptly named One - it will be the first of many. City could pass for Brighton in disguise, complete with an enveloping sea mist, pigeons and pebbled beach no less.

The long and short of it
Sharing a similar skin colour allows me to easily integrate with locals - unlike my gringo girlfriend! Missing the attention already!! Most obvious difference is my extra 12inches...in height. Like standing on the shoulders of midgets.

So offal-ly versatile
Everyone assumes I can speak Spanish. My first attempt is a miss when I order what I believe to be a mixed grill - despite the waiter´s concerns. First impressions are fair but closer inspection reveals a plate full of animal´s internal organs. My appetite is immediately lost...in translation!

28.08.08 Ica-Huacachina
We escape the city and travel south, where the sun finally exposes itself.

Don´t look back in anger - a desert Oasis
Huacachina is a desert lagoon surrounded by mountainous sand dunes - we´re talking huge. We stay at a resort styled hostel accompanied with pool side bar. It´s supposedly a party town but the party has only just arrived!

Let´s get Pisco-ed
Pisco sour is the national alcoholic drink. It looks and tastes similar to a Margerita but is more potent and served in a larger glass. Being British we ignore all warnings and drink a bottle with an cool American guy and his hot Peruvian girlfriend.
We move to another bar and order ever more elaborate Pisco cocktails. They salsa dance. I break dance (natch). A Peruvian girl takes a shine to me and only sees Faye´s presence as a challenge - even trying to force her toungue down my throat as we leave!! I make an ill-advised deal in the toilets and we retire to the dunes to rock the gange.
Vaguely remember passing out before subsequently rolling down the dune into a waiting thorn bush. The resulting scratches give Faye a ´wildcat´reputation.
Come to life an instigate a 3am semi skinny dip in the hostel´s pool. The night watchman is about as enthusiastic about this as Rob:) and we are ordered out with threats of throwing us out. Our work here is done!

29.08.08 Day after the night before
Spend the entire next day vowing to never drink Pisco sour again!!

It´s as if they´re speaking a different language
Have impressed myself, if not all, with my atempts at speaking Spanglish. Have developed a basic command that allows me to initiate simple conversations.
However, while I can ask elementary questions, I have absolutely no idea of what the answers are - especially since Peruvians can speak an entire sentence in the time it takes me to say Óla! And the trusted method of adding an o to the end of English words doesn´t always sufficeo!

30.08.08 Sands up dude!
It´s a new dawn, a new day...and I´m feeling better than yesterday. Climb a dune in the morning that nearly kills us but makes us feel more alive once conquered. Spend the afternoon racing around the dunes in a buggy driven by El Loco, the absolute highlight is the sand boarding.
Don´t mean to blow my own trumpet, but...Parp! I´m a f*cking natural!! Even in the company of a group of experienced US snowboarders I am deemed gnarly, in the most radical way. Watch the sun set over incredibly contoured sculptures that only nature could create.

31.08.08 Shit happens!
We leave the dunes for trekking country on a 12hr night bus re-fuelled on adrenaline. Eat a meal on the bus against my better instincts...

There are few worse places to be afflicted by a bout of ´bum wee´than a non-stop bus traveling across rough terrain without a proper onboard toilet.

01-02.08.08 Arequipa
Spend most of the time holed up between a hostel room and bathroom, occasionally suffering from crippling stomach cramps. But the sun is still shining, we´re in no hurry, the city is beautiful...and I didn´t have to call work:)

Staying in an historic hostel with narrow winding staircases and outdoor terraces on every level. It overlooks a monastery where wild girls were once sent to repent (St. Trinianos?). Behind is an overbearing active volcano and a snow capped mountain range.

Say hello to my sister...and also my wiiiife!!
The Peruvians seem extremely good natured, especially when you make an effort. They always appear in jovial banter between themselves. However, apart from the odd hot chica and the beautiful doe-eyed children, they´re not the most beautiful of people. Everyone shares similar facial chracteristics and stunted growth that suggest generations of inbreeding - while dental hygeine has been lost courtesy of years of coca chewing.

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