Riots, baby...(and we didnt start them!)

Ah, Peru...the culture, the history, the landscape, thats what some come for. Lycia and I, though, we prefer the tear gas. And what angry mob had the ancient and historic district of downtown Lima on lockdown? Why were there thousands of riot cops armed to the gills and commanding assault vehicles with angry teeth painted on them? Who else could cause such mayhem but marauding retired schoolteachers being denied their pensions.

Among the 10,000 matronly maestras there were about 100 professional union thug types instigating the true madness, and luckily we found them from the very beginning. In fact we saw them in a park the day before the riots and Lycia remarked that they looked like they were planning something very sketchy. I figured she just figured all Peruvians looked suspicious and thought nothing of it at the time. Anyway, at one point we were almost trampled by a crowd (well, not me, I pushed Lycia out of my way to escape harm...so she had more trouble than I) and at another spot a cute horse (I called him Stampy) tried to crush us.

The downside is that the museum of the Inquisiation closed for the week, the upside is, well, we were part of a Latin American mass protest. The Peuvian teachers, unlike their American counterparts, loved us. They were angry and they were adorable. And the congress and president in this country suck (that rings a bell) and I hope they keep Peru shut down till they get the monies.

What else...the stupid lady from Air Tran, before we even left Atlanta, misread my passport and filed me under full cavity search before I screwed her head on right for her. They called our hot pocket on the flight to El Slavador over a burrito...we aint that stupid. Lima is beautiful, everything is old and last night we got very drunk. It was at our favorite kind of place, a dive bar where an old man told us it was too dangerous for us when we arrived. We ended up at a very large table of people who drank like Latin Americans, so today we have been moving slow. We did do some touristy things, like see some underground catacombs with lots of dead people flopping around, and, in a 17th century painting of the last supper from a Dominican monastery, they added a chili pepper to the table. Fuckin Dominican monks, crack me up every time.

Anyway, we got jabbed for yellow fever and are not allowed to drink for 24 hours so it looks like Shrek 3 in Spanish tonight. Tomorow we are off to a desert oasis to sandboard, sounds like a new way for me to hurt my stupid self, should be fun. And eating ceviche beats not eating ceviche and its not even close. And my grammar doesnt suck, this computer doesnt have an apostrophe...it has this Ç instead. Crazy country, I tell ya.

PS next time, everybody should come with us...it could be fun. Ciao and out my loved ones.

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