Flying South For Winter

Cover me in eggs and flour and bake me for fourteen minutes, I'm outta here!!

Day 1. Lima. Where did everyone go? Looks like we're on own McGarnicle. Nay
bother. Thats how I roll. Donde estar el bano? No time for that. Oops.
So whats the craic? Getting here has been eventful to say the least.
Savage weekend in London. Tube hopping, morgan spice, warehouse raves
and gary dowlings, "caomhan this is not your house" etc. etc..... was
quite tired after that one so when my flight to madrid was cancelled
in the early hours of monday morning I collapsed in a pool of Ron at
the Iberia airlines attendants feet and began snivveling until she
finally transferred me to an american airlines flight to Miami. Thanks
love, you´re the best. So I slept the good sleep on that flight and
woke up in Miami....In my sleepiness on filling out the US immigration
form or whatever it is I almost checked the box admitting to
involvment between 1933 and 1945 of the persecution in Nazi Germany
and its allies. And whenever someone accuses me of something I always
feel like I´m guilty and go on the deffensive. And with my track
record of dealing with US customs officials and that stupid grin of
mine which gets me into so much trouble I would have definitely missed
my connecting flight and worse maybe but peace be da journey man I
have arrived. Tengo llegado....

Now I'm not a pessimist. Never have been. You can't make me one. I
won't do it. I mean yes I will. No seriously my glass is half full
alright. Half full of euros!! The other half consists of ice cream
with chocolate sauce. You guys can't even begin to fathom
my unshakeable optimism. However I do realise that I have no one
really to look after me for the next while and thus I am making
allowances for at least ten bad things happening to me while on my
travels such that if one occurs I won't start moaning and bitching
like some moany bitch...Nay instead I shall laugh and say "Ha, I knew
you were going to do that!". So in order of annoyance here is my top
ten mishaps that I am more than ready for should one come my way....

1. Get eaten
2. Get mugged
3. Get mistaken for a grazing animal and shot at
4. Lose a limb
5. Lose my shoes
6. Lose my mind
7. Turn to male prostitution to fund my insatiable thirst for dos
cervezas por favor
8. Realise my potential
9. Buy a donkey thats passed its prime
10. Find out in three months time when I leave Cuzco that my one on
one spanish lessons were actually taught to me by a crazy lady with a
wicked sense of humour and I havn't actually got any spanish at all
but an entire new vocabulary of jibberish...

...and now here's Carol with the weather.

Thanks Ron. A little rain or drizzle at first tonight over some
western parts of the country. Mainly dry otherwise, with scattered
outbreaks of salsa dancing and sexy parties.
Highest temperatures of 22 C to 25 C, with a light to moderate breeze
bringing fresh aromas of satisfaction and Sunday roast from the south
east . Tomorrow shall see a warm happy front of love and peace coming
in from the west which shall cover most of the country by mid
afternoon and have everyone dancing naked in the streets. Y en el
sur....SCORCHIO!!

Carol you make me feel like dancing. We'll be back in five...

Right you delightful bunch I´m off to find a dictionary and someone to
play with. You are all to be ranted at for the next year like it or
no. Como se dice "i´m hungry" en espanol. Tengo hambre. Gracias. Hey
you´re right.

See ya later planet earth

Much Love

Ron

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