Published: May 21st 2012May 21st 2012
I have been in crisis mode for the past few days. I have not made a friend, and I have felt very lost and lonely.
I bought a new necklace today, a beautifully wrapped rose quartz. I don't know why that feels important but somehow it does. A new necklace, a new chapter.
But I was still in crisis mode, lost as ever. I had no idea where to go next, I only knew I couldn't stay here.
Some friendly words from ones back home and new friends I've met in the past month, some beautifully written poems by a friend that showed me I wasn't alone, and, finally, a good friend telling me that simplicity is best for clarity... and suddenly I know my next move.
I have no idea what I'm doing, still, and no questions have been answered. But I know my next destination clearly now. And I'm not telling.
As soon as I realised this, Caesar came over. He's a man in my dorm room from Ecuador. We'd barely spoken, and he noticed last night I was the one person not in the hostel bar. He came over just now and asked if I'd like to have a glass of wine with him. And this time, I genuinely wanted to. I wanted to chat and make friends.
He said the stars were bright, and would I like to see the big dipper. I said how I always can make dippers out of all the stars, so I can never find it! So he showed me, the big dipper, reversed down here. Then he showed me the southern cross, not visible back home, directly across from it.
We talked about philosophy and how all the problems we have we create for ourselves.
A wonderful man, who I think sensed I needed him to come talk to me. So, I await him coming to grab me after his shower, followed by a nice glass of wine before bed. Tomorrow he's going to drive me to Loja, 45 minutes away, and I'll be on my way to the place where I believe I can begin.