The difference a few bucks can make....

Hey gang!!!

We made it here to Ecuador and right now I'm loving that Ecuador loves Christmas. Decorations and lights are everywhere, a nice change of pace from our last few days in Peru. In Peru's defense, though, it wasn't as close to Christmas a week ago, so perhaps Ecuador's zest for the holiday has more to do with the dates we arrived. But whatever the reason is, it is indeed beginning to look a lot like Christmas here.... :-)

So as I mentioned, last week was our main travel week, starting in Bolivia and ending all the way in Ecuador. It was quite the week, filled with long bus trips and crazy encounters. I figured it is appropriate to dedicate this entry to our bus travel and to try to spell out just what that means. Anne and I have constructed a list of the highlights (lowlights?!) of our week. We hope you will read it with the humor that we have as we write this and reflect on our travels.

Here's what the difference of countries and prices just might mean:

A $4 12-hour bus ride in Bolivia: Old bus, bathroom breaks in 5 hour intervals, street provided for the long awaited stop, byo toliet paper. Women with pungas (large plaid plastic bags that could carry a small house) will fill the aisle and your minimal foot space. Any leftover space will be filled with the elderly or babies sleeping on the floor. Frequent stops will pick up and drop off complete strangers who paid 10 times less for their ticket than you did. You will be subjected to at least one evangelical dental hygiene salesman (min. 45 minutes). Creepy men across aisle will stare at you at all costs. For the entire trip.

A $10 16-hour bus ride in Peru: Beautifully decorated floral designed bus with bathroom. However, bathroom will be locked and off limits for the entire duration of the trip. Don´t even ask the driver to open it. He will instead force you off the bus after 5 or 6 hours at a "restaurant" at 1am where you must decide if you will pay 30 cents for the economico toliet privilege OR 50 cents for the ever luxurious regular admittance ticket, which will supply you with a wad of toliet paper. All must use the bucket to flush and be sure to have exact change because the child taking coins will refuse change with a firm nod of the head, even those his dirty fingers in his fanny pack are touching the change you so desire. Showering/pouring a bucket of water over your head is optional (Many choose to partake. We did not.). Be sure to steer clear of the Amish families that will arrive on the next bus and stare at you with their ten brothers and sisters, wondering what you are doing at this location at this time of the night. Feel free to stare back and wonder the same. Aboard the bus again, creepy men will stare at you from across the aisle at all costs. Morning on the bus begins with a 45-minute screaming lecture about constipation from the evangelical intestinal expert that unfortunately will travel with you the last leg of your journey. If you do not look at the laminated diagram, he will clap and yell louder. After you get off the bus and tell this story to another, you will learn that you boarded the worst and most dangerous bus line in Peru.

A $25 8-hour bus ride in Peru, recommended by your friends that just told you you rode the most dangerous bus line in Peru: Luxury bus (double axel, mind you), double decker with two bathrooms. Both unlocked and available for use at any moment. Friendly uniformed attendants will greet you in the language of your preference and kindly point out your seat with a smile. In your seat you will find a plush blanket and pillow, both hygenically wrapped. A friendly seat mate will also greet you and walk you threw the ammenities of your journey. The ride begins with a scrumptious lunch of an empanada appetizer, follow by cilantro chicken and rice pilaf, with a moist piece of cake for dessert. You can wash it all down with Inca Cola or Coca-Cola. Napkins included. A rowdy game of Bingo will follow your lunch, where the winner will be awarded a free bus ticket and be given the opportunity to address his or her fellow bus mates in the microphone, thanking them for their attendance during this special moment. Four current movies in Spanish (with English subtitles), none of which will star Jackie Lee or Sylvestor Stalone, will make you forget that you're traveling on a bus through the desert. An early dinner of coffee, pop, a mini-sandwich and another piece of cake will leave you feeling snug and cozy as you continue to watch the oh-so enticing flicks on the screen. No creepy men will stare at you from across the aisle. Although you are a woman, you are not an object on this bus. You are a person! When you arrive at your destination, you will receive a moist towelette for your face in case you got slightly dirty on the luxury bus. You will not have to fight for your luggage, as it will be hand-carried to the terminal for you where the tag will actually be verified. You will dream of this trip during all future bus rides.

A $23 8-hour ride from Peru into Ecuador: Sparing the details, this bus ride will include a guide to walk you through the border crossing procedure, several bus changes, a drug bust, the future impoundment of the vehicle, a successful change to a new bus, a long stop for a flat tire, where you will watch an impromptu pool tournament involving the locals and your fellow stranded bus mates. Beer will be provided. You may encounter a paranoid English man, several drunk men wearing red t-shirts, and a crew of drunk teenagers, one of whom will vomit in between his incoherent outbursts. You will never be so happy to get off this bus after the 10.5-hour ride and into your cozy hostel, where you will continue dreaming of the luxury bus ride in Peru.

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