WARNING: The following contains irresistible male modeling

With less than 2 months remaining on my trip, it is time for me to start thinking about where I’m going to live, where I’m going to work, where I’m going to back to school, and how the hell am I supposed to afford any of it. When sitting on the beautiful Playa Blanca near Cartagena, it struck me as to what my calling in life is… to be a model! In other words, watch your ass Marcus Schenkenberg! After a few months of daily body waxes, hours in the gym, a diet of nothing but bananas and tuna, plastic surgery, and skillful perfection of stuffing a sock in my underwear, you will be without a job! With a beautiful beach already there for a backdrop, I asked my friend to take some snapshots to start my career off right. I have posted the pictures on this update so that all those model agencies reading this can take a look at the future in hotness. Please let the job offer emails flow! (If by any chance this modeling thing doesn’t work out… I am open to other employment ideas, suggestions, and opportunities… not to say that I don’t have 100% confidence in my irresistibleness as a model…)

The Venezuelan/Colombian border between Maracaibo and Maicao may be hell on earth. You see, the Colombian border officials are quite clever and resourceful. When the noon sun shines bright and the temperatures rise well into the 90s, the bribes start flowing. It’s quite an easy concept if you think about it. The long line waiting for exit or entry stamps is pushed out into the baking sun. No one is allowed to wait under the shade of the building, no one. Then, the officials making the stamps work very slowly so that they process about 2 people every 5 minutes. They then make it no secret that for around $8, you can avoid blistering your skin off in the line and bribe an official to run it into the air conditioned building and rush out with your freshly stamped passport. There was no attempt to hide the bribing… it seemed to them as if it was as innocent as little kids overcharging for lemonade on a hot day (only the officials didn’t go as far as making a cute little sign).

Cartagena is absolutely pulchritudinous (yea, I looked that word up on Thesaurus.com and I don’t feel bad about it at all). Now normally, when I see colonial architecture, I look at it and say, “well that’s pretty” and lose interest in the next 5 minutes. That was before I took a stroll in the old colonial center of Cartagena. It is by far the most beautiful city I have every seen. Narrow colonial streets wind their way past giant doorways, massive windows, and beautiful flower covered balconies. As you walk through this giant ‘museum,’ you can’t help but be amazed. The old city is also surrounded by protective walls from way back in the day. These massive walls supposedly kept out pirates and enemies… that’s all the fake history I have on the city because I am currently too lazy to look up anymore… if you’re really interested, google the city and look it up yourself.

The city is set right on the Caribbean and has some pretty nice beaches nearby where rich foreigners and Colombians rent massive high rises with beautiful views. The beaches are trash-filled (due to the lack of environmental awareness in Latin America), but interesting. Walking through Bocagrande, the nearby beach, means navigating through seas of mesh tank tops and women who personify the saying, “just because they make it in your size, doesn’t mean you should wear it.” The locals swarm the beach offering every possible thing you could want at the beach and every other thing that you couldn’t imagine buying at the beach. I was offered beer, food, a broom, cigars, underwear, t-shirts, baby clothes, a sun dress, hats, cocaine, weed, and a TV antenna after lying on the beach for only a few minutes. I saw one European guy lying on the beach getting a manicure, pedicure, massage, his blood pressure taken, and having a lady feed him.

I absolutely love Colombia and Colombians. They are always smiling and very helpful and friendly… I imagine that even if someone were to mug me they would smile and say good evening. I was hoping to do a little volunteer work here in Cartagena for a couple of weeks but there is nothing really organized and I don’t feel like 2 weeks is sufficient to really contribute anything meaningful. I will instead travel through out Colombia and then head back to Costa Rica a little earlier and see what I can help out with in Linda Vista. Hope everyone is doing well and keep an eye out for any job openings!

---

---