Bienvenido a Lococumbia!!

and how...

Seven million salutations to you all!!

I'll make this short. I'm doing my best to keep up...There's sexy parties come out of every parkway, pathway, roofway and highway....Been running around Bogota like a headless salsa dancing chicken...you heard me. I've gotta run back...I'll leave you in Carols capable hands...not just a pretty weathergirl...she has a much better idea of the past weeks shenanigans...we'll talk soon. Love you...

Thanks Ron you handsome devil. Oh...There he goes...off into the wild blue. Well, things were going swimmingly Wednesday last with plenty of sunshine and a fresh North-westerly breeze, and our young advenrturer packing his bags in Pisco, stopping off in nearby Ica to say goodbye to a little friend he had gotten quite close to in the past five weeks and making his merry way to Bogota with a spring in his step and a kings thirst for the frosty brew which thou might have for thus. At the airport and to his terror the plane began to shake and make funny noises just before takeoff with the pilot quite blunty telling everone that the left engine was not in fact working and asking everyone to get off the plane. It took some time, but the cabin crew, pilot and vice pilot were eventually able to remove our absent and absent minded nervous nellie from the lap of the passenger beside him and put the shaking mess outside the gate and within three arms reach of a bar and a hard drink.

"Encantado a connocerte", he said to his freshly poured Pisco sour. Now joined by a business man from Peru, a young woman from Chile who spoke with an Athlone accent for some reason, mostly that she was brought to live there by an Irishman she married once and a another young woman of Indian descent, who was a lawyer from Texas. Looking like something out of a United Colours of Bennetton advert and enjoying eachothers company it was after sometime that one of them realised that the plane had left without them even though they were told that it was alright to go to the nearby bar and that they would be called.

"I wasnt gettin on no fool plane anyhow", a slightly more placid Ron said, delighted in fact that he was allowed to sit in the vip lounge drinking free whiskey and eating tasty nibbles until the next plane. However a random fumugation two hours later meant everyone had to leave. It was probably Rons fault, you know how he loves to go primal and roll around in the muck...anyway he curled up outside gate 18 in the foetal position with his thumb in his mouth until the next plane, arrived in Bogota the next morning after a pleasent flight and everything was rosy.

Bogota is a really nice city. You can notice it straight away, the difference from Lima, surrounded by beautiful green hills, much cleaner, definitely having more of a European vibe about the place. The transport system in Lima is fun, basically consisting of a load of maniacs driving around at high speeds in delapidated mini vans with some mad eejit shouting his head out the window saying where in fact the van is going and shouting "baja, baja, baja, suve, suve, suve" - "get on, get on, get on, get off, get off, get off". If you get on you're in for an adventure. In Bogota, they have maps, bus lanes, the works so our young fortune hunter was easily able to find his way to a hostel in La Candelaria, the old colonial part of the city, with brightly coloured houses, narrow cobblledstone streets, small bars, cool cafes, universities and lots of funky bohemian types legging it about the place on unicycles and smoking weed.

Getting quite carried away by all this excitement our thirsty swashbuckler befriended some people in his hostel, and tucked into a tasty beverage or two. or ten. In some very sexy nightclub with some good tunes, it dawned or at least it should have dawned on old Ron that this was the drunkest he had gotten since coming to South America, and that his friends Elisha and Delphine were coming in from the airport and that he had told them the wrong name of the hostle. Then he remembered. Then he forgot two seconds later. Then he remembered, got distracted by something shiny and got on with what he had to do. Which he couldnt remember. Great timing and good fortune meant that the girls had found there way to the right hostle anyway just as a blanket covered Ron chanting in some ancient jungle slash dutch nonsensical language came out to greet them and checked them in to the right hostle. They didnt fancy joining him for a drink believe it or not as they didnt know where to begin in talking to him so he went off to bed. Or at least he went off to sleep on the floor beside his bed with his only one room mate, a beautiful English girl wondering whether or not to wake hm up or to check if he had hurt his head. To be honest I was quite embarrased by his actions and gave him a good smacked bottom the next day and made him think about what he had done. Oh, he's back and he's soaking wet for some reason.

----What are you saying about me. You're making me out to be some sort of a drunken fool. My mother reads these mails ya know. You'll make her all worried. Howya Ma! Everythings grand here in Bogota. Right I'll take over for now. That Carol. Nothing but a big mouth. She gets around too ya know. But really the last five, six, seven who's counting days have been pretty mental. Have met some cool people and explored the city both by day and night. Went busking for the first time in the streets the other day. Not a thing I'd probably ever do at home. Myself and a dutch guy, Paul went down with two guitars and some Marracas and made some noise. Two locals came up to us after about ten minutes and started playing flute with us. Then some girls came up and started singing. And there were some nearby jugglers beside us and we had a little party in the park with some cartons of wine. Good fun.

The girls showed us around the city the next day and cooked lunch for us, then we went over to their gaff and I cooked chicken a la Ron mashed potato supreme delicioso. It got messy. I liked it.

What else? Im gonna be in a Colombian made for tv movie. Didnt think I'd ever get to say that before. They were looking for gringos to act as extras in our hostel so went down next day, signed my name down and volunteered. We were all bought down to a gigantic swimming pool with everyone wearing speedos. Oh no, I thought, should have read the small print. My farmers tan has been coming along quite nicely but nobody needs to see me in a pair of speedos. Still I was ready to put em on and grease myself up for the greater good of Colombian television. Luckily, the director, a neurotic little man who liked to run a lot told us that the building was to act as a scene in an airport and all we had to do was be passengers carrying luggage walking by. Easy enough, just a little hard to hide my giant stupid grin. Im happy to be off that feckin plane I told him. Got 90,000 for my first film. Pesos unfortunately however, which is about 40 euros. Not too shabby. The acting was atrocious. Cant wait to see what the hell it was about.

Right I think Ive taken up enough of your time. You're right Carol, I am hungry. Lets sort that out. Not sure what Im doing now. Elisha and Delphine have ventured north without me. Was having a bit too much fun here. Might meet up with them in a few days again.

Looking forward to coming home at some stage and giving you all a big wet kiss. Am applying for a few masters in September.

Slan anois

Hasta la Pasta

Ron

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