Santiago - You only hate me because I´m beautiful!

I love Buenos Aires. Yep, saw the T-shirt, heard the 200 or so backpackers repeating the mantra. But I still didn't get it.

It was with much trepidation then that I fastened my belt buckle and promised the boys from Chilean customs that I´d call them soon, before John Wayne swaggering into the country's capital city in time for Christmas.

'Boring'. 'Ugly'. 'I made a special side-trip away from my historical tour of South American brothels because I thought it was something special, I´m sooo disappointed'

Yep, that´s what all the websites say. Don´t waste your time going to Santiago. The Statue of Mary on the hill is the poor cousin to the statue of Jesus overlooking Rio...

...thank goodness they´re the same people who thought that Cordoba was a really beautiful city, never having seen it in daylight.

Yes, the smog (subtle but definitely present) makes your throat sore, and yes, the statue of Mary looks like one of the pre-fabricated plaster dollies that people who learn to paint pottery always have proudly displayed in their living room. (You know the ones, they´re usually next to the pinch-pot their 5-yr-old has brought home from school art class, set a strategic 10cm apart so you can play the 'spot the seven differences between these two objects' game with them). I´ve never seen church donation boxes so well represented (or built into the granite foundations, like letterboxes to Jesus) as they were on the steps in front of her. And, you can´t get back down the hill without paying for the 'funicular' train-thing, but I´ve been scammed worse before.

The streets are clean, the public transport is super, and there´s a huge hill/colonial fortress-turned park in the centre of the city which was the loveliest outdoors space we´d seen in Argentina - because we weren´t there any more. It is so far, the only city I´d vaguely consider living in for 6 months. And the Chilean wine tops out at 5.500pesos - that´s $12.50 AUD for Premium Reserve, sports fans.

We spent Christmas here, and yes, it was expensive, but good people in an awesome hostel, and finally - a double room instead of a dorm bed. I'm sure the Hostel showers have seen it all before, but I was in danger of becoming another statistic - and I think personal intimacy deserves a little more hygiene than most of these provide, y'know what I mean?

Highlight of Christmas (the lowlight being K and I finding ourselves relegated to the Kids table with our prawns and sea bass, because we weren´t prepared to help bankroll the 2 turkeys and mashed potato that was the official Xmas day spread) was being involved in the most horrific drinking game I´ve seen in years, but dodging a bullet and catching photos of the poor buggers who had to drink from the official swill bucket (imagine a hand-crafted pottery pint-mug filled with the dregs and backwash of about 28 different drinking glasses - there were no winners...) followed by (and I´ve no idea who to blame for this one) a frenzy of arse-slapping with the first Havaiana(flip-flop) that came to hand. Being bendy enough to really whip into the various nooks and crannies, a low-shot invariably ended in tears and squeaky voices.

If we've learnt anything from this trip so far, it´s that where you stay makes all the difference. When, on our 6th (and last) day in Mendoza, we discovered that we'd been living in the ghetto and there was an incredible street lined with swank Hostels and Pubs, right next to the 10,000 Hectare park with man-made lake and golf course, I cried a little. I'll always remember it for the green grocer with pink-eye and the fact that the Hostel we stayed in was called Chimbas (which we've since been informed is the Latin American Spanish word for the 'N' word that´ll get you shot in at least 45 states of the US) - the locals all seem cool with it, and it´s not in our Spanish-English translation dictionary, but I´m still kind of disgusted.

Santiago I´ll remember for the awesome lookout from the hill, and for an orphans Christmas I don´t need to cry about.

---

---