At School at 36

Instituto de Serabales

“So we´ll meet at 9 outside the school …” said Juan, little did we know that by 10am we would be on our feet in front of our first class. That was it, no teaching expertise, no lesson plans, no teaching guides and no teachers to shadow. Just the merry band of TAPA volunteers and an expectant bunch of Punta Arenan students.

And so began my month as an English teacher in Punta Arenas, good job I’d done it before in Bolivia. A quick trip to the shop at lunchtime with my teaching partner Michael (the man with the stupid hat) and we were in possession of a set of pens, flashcards and a natty mini rugby ball in the colours of the Union Jack - a quick lob of which is just what every teacher needs to coax those timid students out of their shell and into their first words of English.

Our classes were named after various cities and my life quickly became a round of London, Moscow, Oslo, Toronto, Copenhagen, Berlin, Cairo and Dublin, photocopies, marker pens and the requirement to sacrifice personal image to make ourselves understood in a language which sounded to the students like a round of "st St Sts!".

And so we embarked on a round of one hour lessons three times a week for each class that would in some cases be their first steps along the road of language learning and for others just another piece in the jigsaw.

In the last month I have acted out various ailments and illnesses, have repeated my daily routine a million times, the weather, the time, verbs, adjectives, superlatives, comparisons, food and drink, clothing. I have booked into the fictitious Hyde Park Hotel by telephone seven times, arrived and registered at least eight, and eaten in their restaurant until I’m metaphorically sick of the menu of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding when in reality I would like to eat nothing else after 10 months of South American food!

The other volunteers whose collective ages barely come to more than mine and Simon´s combined (cheeky! - S) have been wonderful. We have admired how they can be out until 7am in the local clubs and still make it in for 10.30 (in most cases). More impressive is that they are still going strong in the evening classes just as long as someone turns up with a plate of facturas (Danish Patries to you lot) for the requisite sugar rush needed to get you through until the last class finishes at 8.00pm.

I have loved the teaching this time, heaps better than in Bolivia and really would consider changing careers if only it paid more in the UK. In my last lesson yesterday I felt a huge pride as I listened to my Dublin adults who a month ago were complete beginners tell and spell me their names, nationalities, addresses, phone numbers and what they do for a living. Tell me about their families, the time, the weather, their favourite foods and their clothing and its colour. I truly didn’t mind when they teased me mercilessly for pronouncing their names in an English accent, by week 3 they had all adopted their English name equivalents in the classes anyway!

The young kids have been fun too, more than willing to learn nursery rhymes, play games and generally do anything that makes learning English feel less like hard work. I´m not sure my teaching techniques would be approved of at home (did I really teach them “How Now Brown Cow”? errr yes!) is it considered acceptable to teach vowel sounds by the unorthodox combination of "Old McDonald Had a Farm" and that great 80´s hit "AEIOU (sometimes Y)"? Who cares it works!

Anyway, I was teaching on my Birthday and it was a lovely surprise when the volunteers brought in a yummy birthday cake and candle into our lesson which provided an unexpected educational opportunity to teach all sorts of silly versions of “Happy Birthday to you” to our class of 13 year olds.

Thanks to everyone who braved the postal system to the End of the World, getting all your cards, paintings and notes was really lovely. Talk about just-in-time 3 of them arrived on the day itself! It was funny to see that I havent changed that much in my year off, your jokes about chocolate for breakfast and tan lines in the shapes of wine bottles are as valid today as ever.

I provided a little 'poo and beer for the early evening break for the volunteers in the “staff room” to wash down the facturas and our last lessons proved to be lots of fun as a result. Back in the classrooms Dublin had bedecked the whiteboard with birthday messages and pictures which made working until 8pm less of an ordeal.

Simon and I then went out to a local restuarant on our street and had a wonderful bottle of Carmenere which made up for the so so pasta and them running out of Tiramisu on my Birthday!

As if birthday celebrations weren’t enough the next day was my last in the job and I was truly touched when I received a lovely fluffy tortoise from “Toronto” as a keepsake who was quickly christened “El Tortuga de Toronto”, a friendship band and flowers from “Oslo” and a Punta Arenas plate and whale sculpture from “Dublin” with a really lovely card and message thanking me for my patience (yes me Mom!).

All in all an experience that I will never forget and would love to repeat .

Just so I dont forget it Ive included a couple of memories below which will mean nothing to you...

London - Valezka and Vania, Maria Jose, Brian, Vania and Roxanne and "I am Michael and I have a stupid hat" and for teaching me the words to La Cucaracha....

"La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha
Ya no puede caminar
porque no tiene
porque le falta
la patita de atras"

Oslo - Ricardo and Christian, Tamara, Zumiko, Laura, Gemita, Kathy, Yovenka. The guys for their unerring volunteering to do absolutely anything, Tamara and the problem with cuban vegetables....!

Dublin - Evelyn, Orlando, Angelica and Carlos for sticking it out to the bitter end and having such fun with it. Manuel for trying to say Thirteen and then getting so excited at being able to say it he used it to mean twelve and twenty aswell. High heels and tutu´s.

Cairo - Alex, Erwin and Freddy. Here´s hoping that never again will I have to explain hip hop lyrics "hell no!".

Toronto - King Juan I of Cumbia, Carol x 2, Daniella, Carla and Marcela. Juan for battling it out every lesson against the girls, Carol and her ridiculous pen and Carla for complaining about everything and doing it anyway!

Moscow- for providing the volunteers with a challenge! One day they might speak you never know?

Berlin - Romina, Eduardo, Daniella, Estaban, Cheryld and los jubilados Eloutario and Marysl. For providing me with the biggest headache each week. How do you teach 11 year olds and pensioners together?

Copenhagen - jose x 2, Dan, Patricio, Paula, Isabell, Paulina. For having the record number of collectivos stopping outside their houses!

Frankfurt - Claudio, David and Nicole. For the only opportunity to have real time conversations about anything!

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